


Excelsior

by twtd



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, F/F, Implied/Referenced Torture, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-04-22 01:48:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14298111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twtd/pseuds/twtd
Summary: Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Excelsior.Alex isn’t much of a fan of Starfleet anymore, but for some reason, she refuses to resign. Despite that, J’onn manages to manipulate her back on to a starship for a simple science mission. Then everything goes wrong and the mission isn’t so simple anymore.Maggie just wants Alex to stop lying to her.Meanwhile, Kara and Lena are trying to keep their hands off of each other until the mission is over.Featuring Lucy as first officer, Winn as chief engineer, and James as Cat’s attaché.Guesting staring Cat as Admiral Grant.A Supergirl Star Trek AU in three parts





	1. Part I: Resistance

**Author's Note:**

> This is the most in-progress work in progress I've ever posted, so hopefully that will inspire me to get it finished. Just a warning, this is going to be the slowest of slow burns as far as Sanvers is concerned.
> 
> Since I’ve been asked, which I totally appreciate because tagging make it hard to tell, I’ll say this: this is primarily a story about Alex. I have it planned in 3 parts (as three stories really, but it’s easier to post them as one work). Alex and Maggie as a couple play a significant role in stories 2 and 3. Kara and Lena as a couple play a significant role in stories 1 and 2 (particularly story 2). That being said, it’s still a story about Alex and if you’re looking for something that’s completely ship focused, you might want to look elsewhere (though I hope you read this anyway!)

Alex ignored the click of the boots on the tile under her feet. She ignored whoosh of each inhale and exhale she heard coming from over her shoulder. She ignored the light scrape of nails across the metal surface of her lab bench. She focused on the reports on the PADD in front of her. Tracking the movement of every molecule of air around her wasn't her job anymore. She was a scientist full time now. All she needed to do was set up experiments, run them, and then interpret the data. But she didn't flinch when a body leaned against her lab bench. 

"Go away," she said to the intruder. Any problems that he had now, they weren't her problems anymore. 

"You don't even know why I'm here yet," was the placid reply. 

"And I don't want to," Alex cut her eyes up toward J'onn. They glinted with annoyance and barely contained anger. 

"You put in a request for transport to see the reemergence of the Giorgetti Lights in the Cassian system. It's been granted." J'onn passed her the PADD he had carried in with him. 

"You didn't need to come here and tell me I've gotten passage on a science vessel," Alex took the PADD and looked over it skeptically. She pursed her lips. "And last I checked, they didn't send the Excelsior out to study obscure, minor stellar phenomena," Alex said. She was getting even more annoyed. It was a simple request. There was no reason for J'onn to have gotten himself involved.

"We're free and we're headed in that direction," J'onn shrugged like he didn't have anything to do with the assignment. As if Alex was that gullible. "And you won't get another offer."

"Fine," Alex gritted her teeth. "But I'm not coming back. We don't talk about it. You don't even mention it," she tossed the PADD down on her bench and turned her back to him. He could see himself out.

***

Alex took a deep breath as she stepped into the shuttle bay. There was no real going back now. She already knew who her pilot was going to be and she wouldn't let Alex sneak off. All of the evasion training in the world couldn't hide from x-ray vision. The shuttle sailed through the force field that kept the vacuum of space outside of the station and set down just a few yards away from Alex. Alex had to raise a hand to shield her face from the wind the shuttle blew up. By the time she lowered her hand, the door was already opening and the blonde menace that was her sister came barreling out.

"Alex!" Kara launched herself at Alex and wrapped her up in a slightly too tight hug. "I thought the Captain might be playing a trick on me because there was no way you were coming on board the Excelsior without telling me," Kara said as she let go of Alex and let her breathe again. Then she punched her in the upper arm. 

"Ow," Alex said as she took half a step away from Kara and rubbed her arm. Kara just reached out and put her arm around Alex's shoulders. "So, we're taking you to look at flashy lights?" Kara asked. "That should be pretty."

"Something like that, yeah." The lights were just J'onn's excuse to get her on board a starship again, but if it got her out to Giorgetti's belt, she could deal. It wouldn't be the first time J'onn tried to get her to forget about the past and take up a new assignment. She knew he was holding a position open for her as long as he could, but she was happy in her lab doing her research. Serving on a starship, even one of the best in the fleet, wasn't what she wanted anymore. Korlox IV only made clear what she had already known: she wasn't meant on the front lines. She wasn't good enough for them. And when she pretended she was people died. So there wasn't anything J'onn could do or say that would change her mind. 

This wasn't Korlox though. It wasn't even the Excelsior. It was just a shuttle bay where she was being reunited with her sister after being separated for way too long. Alex forced a smile. 

"So, what's been up with you? You cut that shuttle landing just a little too close, don't you think? Were you trying to put it down on my toes?" Alex teased.

"Pffftt, I put the shuttle exactly where I wanted it to go," Kara said as she dragged Alex toward the shuttle door.

***

Alex looked down at her hands as they made their way to the Excelsior. She was sitting in the back of the shuttle even though Kara had offered her a place in the co-pilot’s seat. She didn’t want that, to be so close to the controls, to be forced to look out the forward view screen. So, she sat in the back, and she stared at her hands, and she tried to ignore the worried looks Kara kept shooting her.

Alex jolted forward a little when they touched down but was quickly up on her feet, bag slung over her shoulder before Kara could grab it. 

“So,” Alex said, “Are you going to show me to my quarters or do I have to find my way there myself?” She tried to genuinely be cheerful. It had been forever since she had been in the same place as Kara, not just looking at her face through subspace communications, and Alex didn’t want Kara to think her grumpiness was because of her. 

“One tour guide, coming up,” Kara said as she opened the shuttle door for Alex and let her precede her out. Alex might not be in uniform, but she still outranked Kara, and Kara, at least, couldn’t ignore protocol. Alex didn’t comment. She could see that Kara was itching to take her bag though. They got halfway across the small shuttle bay before Alex rolled eyes and relented. 

“Here,” she said as she handed over her small, round travel case. Kara beamed as she took it. “So, where are we headed?” Was J’onn sticking her in the guest quarters or was he going to have the audacity to give her crew quarters?

“Just up a few decks and starboard. I’m only a level down from you.” Kara answered. Alex shook her head. Crew quarters it was. J’onn was a jackass. Alex tuned back into Kara’s chattering as they walked toward her home for the next few weeks.

***

Alex had been alone in her quarters for no more than five minutes before she got J’onn's request to come up to his ready room at her convenience. If it were up to her, that would be never, but he was the captain of the ship, and she recognized an order when she heard one. She stepped out of her quarters just as someone was passing by. The collision knocked the breath out of her, and she reached out to steady both of them.

"Sorry," she said. "That was– Lucy?" Alex stepped back in shock. Why was Lucy… Fuck. This trip was getting better and better. Had she known Lucy was onboard? She had known Lucy was serving as J'onn's First Officer, but somehow she hadn't connected that with having to actually see Lucy.

"Danvers," Lucy's open expression immediately shuttered. She stiffened her spine. "I wondered who my new neighbor was going to be. I guess I can thank J'onn's sense of humor for this," Lucy said, voice sharp.

"You told J'onn?" Alex grabbed Lucy's upper arm and dragged her to the side of the corridor to get them out of the flow of potential traffic. If Lucy had told J'onn, J'onn hadn't mentioned it.

"No," Lucy whispered furiously as she looked around, "but he knows something happened. He was there when you kicked me out of your apartment, remember?" Lucy glared at Alex. Alex remembered that day. She had just wanted to be alone, and Lucy had been pushing, and then J'onn had called, and it had all gotten to be too much. She'd yelled at Lucy and said things that she shouldn't have. Lucy was never one to back down from a fight. J'onn had shown up just as Alex was telling Lucy to get the fuck out. J'onn hadn't said anything about it at the time, but clearly, he remembered. Usually, Lucy would have been in charge of assigning her quarters, but if Lucy hadn't known, then J'onn went around her on purpose.

Alex had the grace to look abashed. "I…," Alex searched for the right words, but they didn't exist. She couldn't apologize. She'd meant what she said even if she regretted how she'd said it. 

"Save it, Danvers," Lucy pushed past Alex and walked in the other direction.

***

Alex stepped out of the turbolift and onto the bridge. She nodded toward the person sitting in the command chair. It was someone Alex hadn't met before, and hopefully, she would be off of the ship before she had to care about whoever the woman in the gold uniform was. She stepped up to the ready room door, hit the chime, then immediately walked through the door.

"Alex," J'onn said as she walked in. He stood and offered her his hand. "I'm glad you decided to join us. It's good to have you on board"

Alex shook his hand. She said, "thank you, sir," because it was the only thing she could say.

"Are your quarters acceptable?" he asked. She wasn't sure if the gleam in his eyes was real or she if she was just making it up out of annoyance. She couldn't believe he was even forcing her to have this joke of a conversation.

"Yes, I ran into Commander Lane on my way here. It was thoughtful of you to put me in next to her," Alex didn't even try to hide what she thought about that from J'onn. If he was reading her mind, he knew exactly how angry she was with him and his attempts to manipulate her life. Did he honestly think dragging her onto his ship and forcing her to spend time near her one-time best friend was going to get her to ask for a reassignment away from her lab? It wasn't happening. 

"I wanted you to feel at home." If J'onn _was_ reading her mind, he didn't let on. "And they were the closest quarters to those of Lieutenant Zor-El. I thought you two might want to catch up," J'onn motioned to his couch. "I also thought the two of us could spend some time catching up."

"Thank you sir, but I need to get down to the lab here and make sure all of my equipment got transferred over correctly," Alex said. She hesitated, waiting for him to dismiss her, but then pushed through the instinct and turned on her heel. The bridge and the corridors were a blur as she stalked back to her quarters.

***

"So," Maggie said as J'onn came back out onto the bridge. "She's our new mission?" She stood up from her seat and wordlessly allowed J'onn to retake command as she made her way back to her security station.

"Something like that, Lieutenant," J'onn said. "Something like that."

***

Alex stepped into one of the Excelsior's smaller science labs and looked around. She was supposed to be meeting with the Chief Engineer to go over any final modifications but it looked like the lab was empty. A few minutes without people, without Lucy and J'onn, or even Kara, was what she needed. She sat at one of the stools and took a deep breath. There was something about the way the deck vibrated under her feet. She hated to admit it, but it made her feel just a bit more calm, a bit more herself than she had when she was planet-side. She steeled herself against the feeling just as the door behind her slid open.

"Oh, whoa, no, no, no," Alex turned to find a young man waving his arms at her. "You are not supposed to be in here," he said. "How did you get in here?”

“I walked in through the door,” Alex responded dryly. What was wrong with this guy? 

“Yeah, I got that,” He rolled his eyes. “I meant, this door is only supposed to open for a few people. You’re not command staff, and you’re not Doctor Danvers, so how’d you get in here?” 

Alex tilted her head. She’d never met this guy before, so how did he know who she was or wasn’t or whatever? “Yeah, actually I don’t know where you got your information, but I am Doctor Danvers,” Alex said. 

"No, no, I looked you up, you're definitely older, longer hair, more blonde,” he responded as he pointed at her. 

"Wrong Doctor Danvers. You found Eliza. I'm Alex and this is absolutely my lab,” Alex said. What was it going to take to get through to him? 

"Wait, no, I couldn't have… there's no… You, _You're_ Alex Danvers? With the… and the…" he babbled. Wasn’t Alex Danvers supposed to be a bioengineer? Why was she doing astrophysics research? 

"Now that we've established that, who are you? And what are you doing in my lab?"

"Who, me?" he answered. "I'm Winn. Winslow, well, Winn Schott. I'm the Chief Engineer." He stepped forward and offered her his hand. 

Alex rubbed her forehead. Of course he was. That explained why he was there, “Right, well, it’s good to meet you.” Alex extended her hand to shake his. J’onn must have a lot of faith in him to let a lieutenant run his engine room. That didn’t mean she had the same faith in his ability to set up her equipment. She wanted to check all of it. It was going to be a long night.

***

Alex sighed as she re-entered her quarters. It had been hours since she had started working in her lab, but at least she knew everything was working up to her standards now. Despite their rocky introduction, she found that she liked working with Winn. He was smart and he seemed to know what she wanted before she could say it. But everything in her lab was as perfect as she could get it and she had no excuse not to go back to her quarters and attempt to make herself at home.

Home was never going to happen. Nowhere felt like home anymore. She summed her lights to half and pulled out the bottle of whiskey she’d stashed in one of her bags. Synthohol wasn’t going to cut it tonight. She had the replicator give her a glass of ice and she poured her whiskey over it, then she took a seat on her couch. It faced the window and gave her a stunning view of the inside of the space dock. They were supposed to be undocking soon. Still, there was time left for Alex to leave. Kara would be on duty. There wouldn’t be anyone to stop her. 

Alex sipped her whiskey. She hated how J’onn was manipulating her, but if she wanted to continue her research she was going to have to put up with it. She didn’t have the money to hire a private shuttle to take her to the Cassian system. 

Alex stared out at the bustle that surrounded a ship getting ready to relaunch. She threw back the rest of her whiskey and poured herself another. She was going to regret it in the morning, but she was going to regret a lot of things in the morning. Alex stretched out on the couch and balanced her glass on her stomach. They left space dock in two hours. She was either going to be drunk or asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we now have the beginning of the plot!

Alex rubbed her forehead against the pounding headache that had lived behind her eyes for days now. Her bottle of whiskey was nearly empty, so it wouldn't be a problem for much longer. She knew she could just grab a hypospray and make it go away, but that seemed like cheating. She'd suffer just like she was supposed to after drinking too much. They were still days away from the Giorgetti system, but Alex was already feeding data into her equipment. She wanted everything to be running perfectly when they got there, so that meant running every simulation she could think of now. 

Winn had been in and out checking on her at least twice a day, and while she appreciated his concern, it was starting to get annoying. She knew he had questions, questions about why she was playing at being an astrophysicist when she was known as a bio-engineer, but she was in no mood to answer them. She looked up when she heard the door hiss open expecting him again. She stopped in her tracks when she saw J'onn instead. 

"Something I can do for you, Captain?" she asked. She refused to call him 'sir.' She wasn't in his chain of command, and she was going to keep it that way. She might still work for Starfleet, but at this point, that was just a name on her paycheck. If anyone short of the admiral in charge of the research division actually tried to issue her orders, she'd probably resign completely. There was a reason she didn't wear a uniform anymore.

"I just came down to check on you," J'onn said as he walked into the science lab. Alex wanted him gone. She resented that she couldn't lock him out. 

"Well, I'm here and I'm fine. You've fulfilled your mission," Alex said, her arms spread to the sides as if to show J'onn she was in one piece, though they both knew her physical health wasn't what he was actually there to check on. He was less likely to get an answer about her mental health than the Starfleet counselors she'd been required to visit did when she was snowballing them. How she felt wasn't his business.

"Mmm," J'onn replied as he walked farther into the room. Alex used to think the black and dark grey of his uniform complimented his green skin, but now the red around his neck only taunted her. She'd worn that red once. She knew he wanted her to wear it again. She couldn't. "And how are you settling in? Mr. Schott tells me everything in here is running well within even your exacting specifications." 

"Yes, well, he's a good engineer." Alex was cursing her headache. She couldn't do this with J'onn, not again. She wondered just how many of these conversations J'onn was going to force on her over the next few weeks. Clearly staying in her lab wouldn't be enough to avoid them if he was going to come to her. 

"High praise, coming from you," J'onn said. He wandered through her lab, looking over the equipment but not touching anything. Alex shrugged dismissively. 

"It's the truth. Is there some reason you're down here poking around?" Alex asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. She followed his movements with her eyes, turning whenever it was necessary to keep sight of him. She might have to suffer his presence, but she didn't have to let him screw up all of her hard work.

"I told you, I came down to check on you. A captain likes to know what's going on on his ship, and I like to know what's going on with the people I care about." J'onn came to a stop and leaned against the edge of a console. He lightly wrapped his hands around the edge, standing placidly in the face of Alex's discomfort. She shifted her feet as if getting ready for a fight. A fight would be better than this verbal dance. 

"Well, you've checked," Alex said dismissively. Still, it was his ship, and as much as she wanted to, Alex couldn't actually throw him out. 

"Also, I wanted to extend an invitation," J'onn said. "You and Kara should come to dinner while you're onboard. I won't… well, we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. Outside of everything else, you're still my Goddaughter. I'd like to spend some time with you." 

Alex sighed and her shoulders started to slump. She couldn't deny that relationship. She couldn't deny the place J'onn had had in her life ever since her father had died. He was her parents' closest friend, a friendship born when he had saved her father's life at Wolf 359 when she was little more than a baby. It was too bad he hadn't been able to save her father's life a second time. "I appreciate the invitation." She ran the fingers of one hand through her hair. Kara, at least, would appreciate the invitation. It would be so easy to slip back into their old relationship, the one where he was a constant presence in her life, her mentor, her surrogate father, but she had burned that bridge. 

"Then you should accept it. We can all catch up," J'onn got up and walked the few steps to Alex and put a hand on her shoulder. She nearly leaned into it. She was about to answer when a chime sounded. 

"Bridge to Captain J'onzz," sounded through the communications system. 

"J'onzz here. Go ahead." J'onn dropped his hand from Alex's shoulder and with a shift, he was suddenly in command of the room. 

"Sir, there's a priority one communication from Starfleet for you." Alex stepped away from J'onn. Priority one messages were just that: J'onn's first priority. Any small progress they might have made had the conversation continued was wiped away. Alex had almost forgotten he was anything other than her parent's closest friend. She couldn't afford to forget that. Alex straightened back up and returned to looking at one of the consoles. 

"I'll be right there. Patch it through to my ready room," J'onn said. He turned back to Alex as the communication ended. "I have to…," he said as he nodded toward the door. 

"I know," Alex looked up from the console and nodded back at him. 

"Give my invitation some thought, alright?" J'onn paused at the door for one last moment as he looked back at her before the door slid open and he walked back into the corridor.

"Yeah," Alex said to herself. She had already thought about it. It wasn't going to happen.

***

"Are you sure, Admiral?" J'onn asked Admiral Grant through the subspace communication. Cat Grant's orders were always clear and she always expected them to be followed to the letter. They hadn't made her an admiral for no reason, and she wouldn't appreciate being questioned. Her missions were successful. Anything other than perfection wasn't a possibility. This would be no exception.

"Am I sure? Of course, I'm sure," Admiral Grant snapped. "Yes, it's happened rather quickly, but we weren't entirely unprepared for the invitation. We just need someone to get us there. And that someone is you." 

J'onn was already mentally preparing for their new mission. Overseeing negotiations between the Federation and the Eintari with less than a week's notice wasn't going to be a cakewalk, no matter how unconcerned Admiral Grant was. He'd have to get his protocol officer on it immediately. Add in the most exacting Admiral in the fleet and a Federation ambassador, and J'onn was already getting a headache. 

"Do you have a problem with that?" Admiral Grant asked as she narrowed her eyes. There was only one correct answer to her question.

"No, Admiral. No problem," J'onn replied. Alex was going to kill him for the detour. He wasn't looking forward to telling her.

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow, Captain." The communication cut off before J'onn could say anything in response. 

J'onn tapped his communicator. "Commander Lane," he said and got a yes sir in response. "Senior staff meeting in half an hour, and get me the protocol officer up here. It seems like we're going to be needing his expertise." If they were going to pull this off, they were going to have to start preparations immediately.

***

Kara had a smile on her face as she punched in their new coordinates. This was why she had joined Starfleet: the unexpected. She hadn't been on the Excelsior for long, not in the grand scheme of things, and she was amazed every time she got to sit at its helm. There was so much power right under her fingers, and J'onn trusted her with it. It was mind-boggling.

She loved flying. Whether it was under her own power in systems with yellow suns, in one of the small trainers at Starfleet Academy, or at the helm of a giant starship, they were all amazing. Though sometimes she did wish she could turn down the inertial dampeners and really feel the G-forces as she brought them to their new heading. That was the one thing she missed about flying smaller ships. You couldn't really feel what you were doing on a starship. It didn't matter though. Flying was still the best feeling in the universe. Getting to fly for Starfleet was a dream come true.

***

She's only done it once, but Alex was already sick of the walk from the turbolift on the bridge to J'onn's ready room. They were in the middle of alpha shift, so all of the senior staff were on duty. Lucy, _Commander Lane_ , Alex reminded herself, had taken up J'onn's usual spot in the command chair, and Kara was sitting at the helm. Alex barely spared the rest of the crew a glance even though they were all looking at her, some more discretely than others. She nodded curtly to Lucy, the smallest acknowledgment she could possibly get away with, before reaching J'onn's ready room and hitting the door chime.

A clear, "Enter," came from behind the door and a second later the door itself slid open. Alex stepped through wondering just what J'onn might want with her now. If it involved being called to the bridge, it wasn't going to be good.

"Alex, come take a seat," J'onn motioned toward the couch where he was already seated. He had a coffee mug in hand and took a small sip as Alex crossed the room. Though he hadn't really used the privilege beyond her first day onboard, Alex hated that he could summon her to his office, and she would have no choice but to go. There were lots and lots of things she hated about her current situation, but she took a deep breath and tried to push that away. It was getting her to where she wanted to go. That was the important thing. 

"I'd rather stand," she said. The ready room was larger than the one she was used to from the last ship she had served on. That one had been a nearly claustrophobic space with room for little more than a desk and the replicator built into the wall. This was an airy room with large windows looking out into space. The couch was stretched out in from of them and a desk stood on a platform in the center of the room. J'onn certainly had the space to stretch his legs if he wanted. 

"Come on, Alex. It's just a couch. Not some part of a nefarious plan," J'onn said. 

Alex looked at the couch skeptically but sat anyway. "What did you need?" J'onn's coffee smelled divine but she'd be damned if she asked for any. She could get some in her lab when she went back even if she wouldn't have access to J'onn's specific replicator program that was bound to be better than the generic one. She sat down. It wasn't an unreasonable request. 

"I have some bad news," J'onn said. "We're going to have to take a detour on the way to the Cassian system." He spoke in a careful tone. He didn't want to upset Alex any more than she was already going to be upset. 

"What?!" Alex was up out of her seat before she'd even had a chance to settle. How dare he. _How dare he_. This was the entire reason she was on board, the entire reason she was willing to subject herself to weeks on a starship. 

"I know, I know," J'onn tried to placate her. "I'm very sorry, but we don't have a choice." 

Alex walked away from J'onn and gripped the rail that separated that area of the ready room from the rest of the space. When she spun around there was a fire in her eyes. "You'd better have a damned good explanation." And if it wasn't, she was going to be livid.

"Admiral Grant is diverting us to Eintar. We're transporting her and Ambassador Luthor there to engage in trade negotiations with the Eintari. I'm sorry about this Alex, but orders are orders." 

"And you're just finding this out _now_?" Alex asked. "This just came out of nowhere?" Alex asked sarcastically. There was no way this sort of mission happened on the spur of the moment. These sorts of things took months to plan. J'onn had to have known about it before he forced her onboard. 

"I know you don't believe me, but yes. It's what the message from Starfleet was about," J'onn said. "We still have our mission to explore the lights. It's just going to have to wait until the negotiations are over, or at least this phase of them." J'onn stood up and approached Alex. She took a step back.

"Fine," Alex responded, her words clipped. "Just give me a shuttle and I'll meet up with you when you get to the Cassian system." Alex had her own mission and she wasn't going to get sidetracked. She knew she should have tried to find another way to get to the lights.

J'onn sighed. "You know I can't do that. If you're not under my command, you don't have the clearance, and I don't have anyone I can spare to go with you." J'onn held his hands out, palms up, trying to get Alex to understand. They were a small ship. Every crew member was essential. In her head, Alex knew that, but she wasn't thinking with her head.

"Then just drop me off somewhere and I'll figure something out," Alex yelled in frustration. She turned around and started pacing. She wanted to hit something or throw something. Anything to get her anger out.

"Look, we don't have time," J'onn said, some of his own frustration bleeding out. "I know this isn't what you planned, but I don't have a choice and neither do you." J'onn stood and approached Alex, but she only stepped away from him again. "Stop acting like a child and accept it for what it is." 

"Don't talk to me about accepting things," Alex's voice got low and dangerous. "You're the one who can't accept the fact that I'm Never. Coming. Back." Alex flung her arms out. "Divert the ship. Those are your orders, right? I'll be in my quarters." With that Alex stalked out of J'onn's ready room, across the bridge, and into the turbolift.

***

Alex chafed at the silence in her quarters. She didn't have enough whiskey left to put a dent in her foul mood and she wasn't up for the company she'd find in the onboard lounge. Why couldn't things just go right? Why couldn't this be simple? Alex sat on her couch with her head in her hands. She pulled at her hair and let out a sound of frustration. She couldn't keep sitting there. She checked the time. Late enough that she would hopefully find the gym deserted. Alex forced herself off the couch and into her bedroom to change. Maybe she could punch out her bad mood.

***

Maggie walked into the gym to the sound of fists colliding with a punching bag. Each smack sounded just a bit louder than the last. Their latest passenger was stationed on the far side of the heavy bag, and from the trail of sweat down her face and the way her shirt was sticking to her stomach, she's been at it for awhile. Maggie thought about starting her own workout but dismissed the idea. J'onn's cryptic comment about her on the bridge the week before piqued her curiosity, and once Maggie was curious, she could be relentless. It had served her well so far. She walked over, keeping her steps obvious so as not to startle the other women, and stationed herself on the other side of the heavy bag. She braced it against her shoulder.

"The Captain give you some bad news?" she asked. Alex looked too far too into her workout for it to just be part of her normal routine. A long minute passed, and Maggie wasn't sure if Alex was even aware of her presence, if she had heard her. There was no change in her demeanor. 

"I don't want to talk about it," Alex finally responded. Her voice was tight as she threw a particularly sharp right hook. 

Maggie hummed in understanding as she held the bag for Alex. "Klingon?" she asked as Alex drove her knee forward. The brute strength behind Alex's every move gave away the fighting style. It just made her want to know more about the woman in front of her. Where did she learn how to fight like a Klingon? It wasn't something the average person would know. She wondered what Alex would look like swinging a bat'leth, one of the long, curved weapons the Klingons liked to swirl around. She had a feeling Alex would look deadly.

"It's efficient," was Alex's only response. The punches and kicks continued. Thud, thud, thud. Each had an impressive amount of power behind it, and Maggie guessed there was a lot of muscle hidden under Alex's skin. 

Maggie hummed again before responding, "Not very pretty though." Style wasn't something the Klingons prized in battle. 

With no warning, Alex switched fighting styles from Klingon to something Maggie didn't recognize, something that involved sweeping arms and stylized kicks. The power was still there though. Maggie didn't know what it was, but it was certainly prettier than the brute force from before. It looked no less deadly. Alex spun into a high jump-kick that rocked Maggie and the bag back before she came to a stop. 

"Impressive for a scientist," Maggie said after she recovered. 

Alex shrugged as she grabbed a towel. "It's a hobby." She walked over to a bench and sat down as she wiped the sweat from her face. Maggie got a better look at Alex now and she couldn't stop herself from staring at the abs she could see through Alex's sweat thinned shirt. She cleared her throat as she followed Alex over to the bench. 

As head of security, it was Maggie's job to assess threats to the ship no matter where they came from, and Alex had just risen much higher on her list. She seemed proficient in at least two martial arts, and Maggie didn't believe her 'just a hobby,' story for a minute. If Alex wanted to take someone out it certainly looked like she could do it. Whether she could beat someone with a phaser remained to be seen.

"Maggie Sawyer," she said as she offered Alex her hand. 

"Sawyer, huh?" Alex responded and took Maggie's hand. "Security, right?" How Alex knew that Maggie wasn't sure, though she had been on the bridge both of the times Alex had graced it with her presence. Maggie hadn't thought Alex had noticed anyone outside of Commander Lane. Something else to keep in mind.

"Chief of security, yeah." Maggie was proud of her title and that pride showed in the way she stood a little taller. She had enlisted in Starfleet at 18 and received a battlefield commission right at the end of the Dominion War. It had taken a lot of hard work and at least some luck for her to earn it the commission and the position on the Excelsior. 

Alex nodded. "Alex Danvers, but I assume you already knew that." Alex's grip was firm and there were callouses in all of the places Maggie would expect on someone who beat up imaginary opponents on a regular basis. Those too weren't the hands of a typical scientist. 

"Yeah," Maggie responded. Silence started to stretch between them and Maggie didn't want it to become awkward. "Well, I'm going to…" Maggie motioned to some of the other equipment. She'd come for a workout after all, and it would be weird to leave now even though her workout was suddenly the last thing on her mind. "Let me know if you want to spar sometime or just want a gym buddy. I drop in at this time every couple of days." She hoped Alex would take her up on her offer.

"Yeah, sure." Alex wiped her face again before she got up and left.

Maggie stared after her.

***

Kara bounced on her toes as she stood beside Lucy and J'onn in the transporter room. It was her first time greeting any sort of dignitaries, but someone had to take care of any random requests the Admiral or Ambassador might have as soon as they came on board, and that was what lieutenants were for. Lucy put a hand on Kara's shoulder to get her to calm down and plant her feet on the floor. It worked just as the transporter started whining. As soon as the noise started, it was over, and Cat Grant and Lena Luthor stood in front of them. Hovering behind them was Lieutenant Commander James Olsen, Cat's attaché.

"Admiral, Ambassador, allow me to welcome you aboard the Excelsior," J'onn said. His voice was smooth and only hinted at the authority he exuded on the bridge. He was still captain of the ship and ultimately in charge, but if there was something either of the dignitaries wanted, he was going to see that they got it. That was Kara's job.

"It's good to be here," Lena answered before Cat had a chance to. "Hopefully, this will be a successful mission." There was something about Lena's voice that drew Kara's attention. It was clear and strong but also somehow soft. Maybe that was what made her such a good ambassador. 

"Yes, and to that end, I want to go up to the bridge and review your preparations so far," Cat said. The command in her voice made Kara want to stand up even straighter. She wondered how J'onn and Lucy could look so calm. Maybe it came with experience. Lieutenants rarely spent time with Admirals. 

"Absolutely, Admiral." J'onn had expected as much. Cat was the no-nonsense type and would want to get down to business as soon as possible. "Ambassador Lane, will you be joining us?" J'onn asked. Whether Lena would take him up on his offer was more of a question. Kara didn't know much about her beyond what was in her official Starfleet file and that wasn't enough to make a guess.

"Actually, I think I'd rather go to my quarters and freshen up first. I'm sure you can catch me up after I've had a chance to settle in a bit." Lena looked perfectly put together. Kara couldn't imagine her needing to do anything to make herself look better. Maybe she wanted a shower or something. Travel, even starship travel, could do that to some people. 

"Of course, Commander Lane and Lieutenant Zor-El can show you there." J'onn motioned to the two officers. Kara made her face look as serious as possible as Lena and Cat scrutinized her. Her posture was so straight it was amazing she hadn't sprained something. 

"Oh, there's no need to tie them both up. I'm sure Commander Lane has better things to do than walk me through some corridors." Kara's estimation of Lena went up. The commander definitely had other things to do. She always had things to do.

"Of course, Ambassador." J'onn replied. "Lieutenant, if you would." Kara tried to keep the panicked look off of her face. She was going to have to spend time alone with the ambassador and she wasn't prepared.

***

Kara was trying hard not to fidget. It wasn't every day that she was entrusted with the care of an ambassador. She knew she should be making some sort of small talk, but she just couldn't think of anything. Maybe that meant she shouldn't try to talk to the ambassador after all. She couldn't remember any protocol lessons on the subject, but then diplomacy hadn't exactly been her favorite seminar when she was at the Academy.

"Do I intimidate you that much?" Lena's laugh danced in the air between them, a teasing smile on her lips. Kara couldn't help the way she twisted her fingers together. It was her first reaction when she was around a pretty girl and Lena Luthor fit that description. It was worse now that they were alone together, and the ambassador's question brought a blush to her cheeks. 

"What? Oh, no ma'am, err… Ambassador," Kara stumbled through her words. Of course, Lena intimidated her, but she couldn't tell Lena that. Even without a seminar, she knew that wouldn't be polite. Kara wracked her mind for something else to say, something to take the attention off of her. 

Lena laughed again. "Please, call me Lena. I miss people just using my first name," Lena brushed Kara's arm with her fingers. It made Kara blush again. She didn't know there was going to be touching. How was she supposed to handle that? She was too much of a gay mess and Lena was too attractive to just ignore it. 

"Of course, Lena," Kara hesitantly tried the name out. 

"Just in private. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with the admiral or your captain." Lena’s eyes twinkled and Kara couldn’t look away. Eventually, Lena broke the eye contact. 

"Uhh, right,” Kara responded. She could do that. It was a simple request. 

"So, what’s your first name and what is it you do on this ship when you aren't showing guests around?" Lena asked. Kara startled at her life suddenly being the focus of Lena’s attention. 

“It’s Kara and I'm a pilot," Kara's face lit up. She could talk about flying all day. Flying was everything. 

"A pilot? How impressive. You know, we have a big race on Allysia every year. It's always so exciting to watch." Kara knew all about the race. Maybe that was why she was so flustered around Lena. That was what she was going to tell herself. 

"Oh, I know! The best pilots in the quadrant race in it. I'd love to be able to do it. I don't think I'd win or anything, but just to try." Even saying the ‘best pilots,’ was an understatement. They were the best of the best. There was no way Kara was in their league no matter what her simulator scores said. That was just practice. The Allysians raced for real and for a real prize. 

"You don't think you'd win?" Lena said with mock surprise. "And here I thought pilots were cockier than that." Her eyes were doing the sparkling thing again and the blush returned to Kara’s face one more time. 

"Well, it doesn't really matter," Kara shrugged. "It's so famous at this point, you have to know somebody to get a spot."

"Well, it's a good thing you know somebody," Lena's smile was wicked. It was then that Kara realized they were at Lena's quarters.

"I do?" It took Kara a moment to understand Lena's meaning. "Right," she practically squeaked. Lena couldn't actually be offering her a spot in the race after having known her for five minutes. She was just being polite. "Um, we're here," Kara said as she stopped walking and pointed at the door. 

"So we are," Lena tapped at the entry pad. "I guess I'll see you later Kara Zor-El."

"Yes. You, uh, you definitely will. You should, you know, contact me if you need anything." Kara finally managed to say something without embarrassing herself too badly.

"Believe me, I will." With that, Lena stepped through the door to her quarters. Kara was still standing there minutes after the door closed. It was only someone else passing by that jolted her out of her stupor. She needed to get back to the bridge.

***

Lucy swore she could hear Alex moving around in her quarters. She knew it was impossible. The soundproofing was too good for that, but she could hear something anyway. She had the overnight shift on the bridge so she was getting ready to leave just as Alex was getting back from wherever she had been. She knew because she had definitely heard Alex's door open. Definitely.

Lucy's uniform jacket hung on the back of one of the chairs at her table and she absent-mindedly brushed a piece of lint off of one shoulder as she made her way to the replicator. She ordered her breakfast, Andorian oatmeal, and sat at her table to eat. After their last interaction, she never expected Alex Danvers to be back in her life, even if it was just professionally. So far they hadn't had to interact, J'onn had taken on Alex as a personal project limiting Lucy's need to coordinate anything, but that was bound to change eventually. She couldn't help but wonder just how that was going to go. She could act professionally but could Alex?

To say that Alex's moods were volatile now was an understatement. 

Alex had looked lost when she and Lucy first met at Starfleet Academy, but she had always been basically predictable. She already had a Ph.D. from the Vulcan Science Academy and just like there, she'd excelled at almost everything. Alex was the cliche of an overachiever: she played as hard as she worked. If she thought about it, Lucy could still feel the blow to her chin she'd accidentally suffered at Alex's hands during an impromptu game of flag football their third year, and you never wanted to play dom-jot against her. Still, after their first year, Alex had stopped looking lost, doe eyes replaced by fierce determination. 

Lucy had only been a little bit in love with her. 

But more than that, Alex became her rock, the person she went to when James broke her heart or when she didn't do well on a test. Alex was always there. When they'd graduated, Alex was first in their class and had her pick of posts, and of course, Alex had picked the hardest, most grueling one she could. Lucy, under the influence of her father, had gone somewhere more sedate, more likely to make her the right friends in the right places. Alex wasn't one of those people. For the first time in four years, they were separated. It didn't matter; Alex was still her best friend. 

Just like it didn't matter how much their current relationship had devolved, Lucy still wished she had gone with Alex on the mission to Korlox IV. If she had been there, maybe she could have stopped the tragedy. Maybe she could have saved Alex's career. Or maybe she would be dead too. There was no way to know. Lucy didn't blame Alex for her grief, but she did blame her for what came after, for ruining their friendship, for forcing Lucy into a choice between Alex and Starfleet. 

Lucy sighed. Thoughts of Alex Danvers had already taken up more of her time than they had in years, and she didn't have any more time to devote to her that morning. Lucy put her bowl back in the replicator and waited for it to dematerialize. She grabbed her jacket, slung it over her shoulders, and left her quarters, hoping for an uneventful shift on the bridge. They would be arriving at Eintar the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to promise a more regular updating schedule, but I'm not sure I can stick to one. It'll probably be less of a wait than between the first chapter and this one though!


	3. Chapter 3

As she looked down at the planet from orbit, the blue and green swirls of Eintar reminded Lucy nothing more remarkable than Earth. The continents were different shapes, and the ratio of green to blue was higher, but otherwise, it looked the same. She lightly drummed her fingers on the table top in the too crowded conference room as they waited for the Eintari president to contact them and officially invite them down to the planet.

She was sitting to J'onn's left, and Maggie was on hers eyes bright and alert. She was ready to get down to the planet's surface. The admiral and ambassador were sharing the head of the table, both looking calm and collected while James sat to their right looking just as cool. She remembered his laid-back attitude from when they had dated, and it seemed like working with Admiral Grant had only given him more confidence. Kara, and then Winn, sat next to him. Kara was as eager as ever, and Winn couldn't keep his hands still. Lucy imagined he was wrapped up in some engineering problem even though he was in the conference room. At the far end of the table, between Winn and Maggie, was Susan Vasquez, their operations officer. If she was at all impatient there was no way to tell. 

Lucy finished her survey of the room just as the viewscreen came to life. 

"Greetings and peace be with you," President Antoo said as he inclined his head. It was the traditional Eintari greeting and Lena echoed it back to him. With that, the real conversation started. Lucy tuned out most of it, making sure she was following just enough of the conversation not to be surprised by anything later. Most of the details had been ironed out via subspace communication in the days it had taken them to reach the Eintari homeworld. It was unlikely anything new was going to come up in the next ten minutes. The viewscreen going dark was Lucy's signal to focus again. 

"That went well, I think," Lena said to the room, a slight smile on her face. She looked pleased. 

"Mmm," was Admiral Grant's response. She pursed her lips into a thin line and swiveled in her chair. "I suppose so." She almost sounded disappointed that she didn't get to yell at anyone. She looked to J'onn. "Your away team?"

"Of course, Admiral. Commander Lane has put together the team, and they're ready to go down to the surface whenever you need them." He threaded his fingers together as he calmly returned Admiral Grant's skeptical look.

"Good," Admiral Grant replied. "We're scheduled to go down in two hours. I expect they'll be at the transporter room on time." With that, Admiral Grant stood and swept out of the room.

Lena's smile turned tight. "Well then, I guess I'd better go finish my final preparations. I wouldn't want to be the one making her late." She too stood up and left the room though at a much more sedate pace. 

"Right, people," J'onn started. "Let's not let Admiral Grant or Ambassador Luthor down. Commander Lane, remind everyone who's in the away team." He turned the floor over to Lucy with a nod. 

Lucy took a deep breath. She had given this sort of briefing a hundred times. This was just one more. "Of course, Captain. Lieutenant Sawyer and I will be accompanying the Admiral and Ambassador along with Ensigns Cho, Donovan, and Roberts. Cho and Donovan are there to provide any necessary security and Roberts are going as our protocol officer. Hopefully, we won't commit any terrible faux pas and need his expertise." Lucy tried to keep things light with the joke and slight laughter let her know she succeeded.

"Excellent," J'onn clapped his hands together and stood. "You're all dismissed. Lucy, if you wouldn't mind staying a moment?" 

"Yes, sir," Lucy replied. She stood and leaned against the table as everyone else filtered out of the conference room. She didn't have any idea what J'onn might need with her, but she'd know soon enough. 

"Lucy, I have a favor to ask you, and you're not going to like it. It's not an order, but I'd appreciate your help," J'onn said. He rubbed his hands together in a way that Lucy knew meant he was as nervous as he ever got. "I want you to get Alex to go with you." He met her eyes with his own soft gaze. "The Eintari will love the chance to talk to a Federation scientist, and frankly, I think she could do with the fresh air."

Lucy exhaled and swallowed before she said, "yes, sir." How the hell she, of all people, was going to convince Alex to go on an away mission with her was a mystery, but J'onn asked it of her and she'd give it her best try. Maybe talking to Alex would be easy. Maybe she would agree without any trouble. And maybe tribbles would stop multiplying.

***

Alex was in her quarters reading a book on her PADD when her door chime went off. She looked up in curiosity. It had to be Kara. No one else on board was going to go out of their way to visit her. Still, she wasn't expecting Kara. In fact, she was pretty sure Kara was on duty. She called out a, "come in," anyway. Maybe Kara's shift had changed.

She was in no way prepared for the sight in front of her. Lucy Lane was standing in her doorway. For a brief second, it was like they were years in the past and both stationed on Earth for the first time in nearly a decade. Except then Lucy wouldn't have bothered with the chime, she would have just walked in. Alex stood up warily, already on the defensive as they stared at each other.

"May I?" Lucy asked, finally breaking the silence. She motioned further into Alex's quarters. 

"Yeah," Alex nodded her head to indicate that Lucy could enter. Whatever Lucy wanted, it wasn't something they could talk about with the door open. Lucy took a step forward and the door slid closed behind her. They stood there staring at each other for a long time. Alex wasn't sure what to do with herself. There was a part of her that just wanted to forgive Lucy immediately without prompting, to try to salvage their relationship, but that wasn't realistic. Whatever they had was over. She had destroyed it.

Alex cleared her throat. "What can I do for you, Commander Lane?" she asked. Alex crossed her arms over her stomach, sleeves of her shirt pulled up over her hands. What could Lucy possibly want with her? Surely it wasn't to talk about the past. If she wanted that, she could have come any time in the last week. 

"We've reached Eintar," Lucy said. It was a flat statement, devoid of anything personal. 

"Yeah, I know," Alex snarked back, motioning toward the planet that hung outside her window. Just because Lucy wanted to pretend they had a professional relationship didn't make it true, and Alex was still upset that she'd been forced to Eintar in the first place. She needed to remember that. 

"Right, well, I'm sure you also know that we're about to go down to start negotiations," Lucy said as she clasped her hands behind her back. Alex glowered at her. Right now Lucy was stating the obvious, and Alex didn't need Lucy wasting her time.

"I assumed," Alex replied. She leaned against the back of the couch, arms still crossed. "What does that have to do with me?" She was a scientist, not a diplomat. Even in her past life, she hadn't exactly been trained to broker peace. 

"I've put together an away team, but J'onn wants you to come too." Lucy looked down as she said it. Alex scoffed. She couldn't believe Lucy would ask such a thing of her, that J'onn would.

"I don't care what J'onn wants," Alex said as she turned away and headed back around the couch. There was no reason for her to go down to the planet. No reason at all. Once again J'onn was trying to push her into something she didn't want.

"Fine, then do it for me," Lucy said. Alex rolled her eyes. 

"I don't do things for you anymore, remember?" She couldn't help but think back to their last interaction, their last fight, to Lucy storming out of her apartment.

"You owe me, Alex," Lucy said, her voice strong. Alex couldn't believe her ears. 

"And this is how you want to call in your favor?" Alex responded bitterly. It seemed so trivial, going down to the planet. Not worth what Lucy had done for her. But she did owe Lucy. She owed Lucy more than just a trip to a planet. 

"If that's what it takes." Lucy mirrored Alex's position, arms crossed, feet wide. 

Alex pursed her lips. She couldn't believe she was giving in. It was what Lucy wanted in trade though, so she would say yes. "Fine. When do we leave?"

***

Alex, in the most formal clothing she owned, which wasn't very, wandered through the reception hall, a drink in her hand. It wasn't the worst event she had ever been to, but it wasn't exactly her favorite way to spend a night either. Still, she had already met two Eintari scientists that wanted to know more about her research into the Giorgetti lights and a third who had insight into her design of the latest bio-neural gel packs. If it worked, it would make them 2.4% more efficient and a large part of her wanted to get back to the ships and start working on a new model, her vow to complete her father's research into the lights almost forgotten. Now, she was wandering around looking for another scientist to speak to. It was much more fulfilling to talk to them than the myriad diplomats and politicians floating around. It was hard to do while also navigating the low walls, couches, and potted plants the Eintari seemed to favor in their decorating. The entire room was like a maze.

"Doctor Danvers," Lena's voice lilted through the light crowd as Alex passed nearby. It seemed like she wouldn't be able to avoid the diplomats any longer. She effortlessly slid into the group around the ambassador.

"Hello, Ambassador," Alex said to Lena, though it was directed to the group as well. She wasn't sure when she had caught Lena's eye, but now there was no escaping it. She managed not to sigh audibly, but she already wanted to sneak away.

"I just wanted to introduce you to Doctor Zintar. She's the head of the Eintari Science University," Lena said as she gestured to the woman standing to her right. 

"It's nice to meet--" Bang. Bang. Alex stopped talking when a blast from a disruptor bolted through the air just over her head. As soon as it did, her instincts kicked in and she grabbed Lena and Doctor Zintar and shoved them to the floor, looking for cover even as she did so. There was a low wall immediately to her right and she pushed the other two women behind it without ceremony. What was going on? This was supposed to be a run of the mill diplomatic reception. Alex hadn't come prepared for this. 

Alex moved without thought. As soon as everyone in her group was all hidden, she popped her head out and looked for Lucy. Lucy was in charge of the mission. She needed to wait for Lucy's orders before she acted. She was the only Starfleet officer without a phaser and at that moment she sorely missed it. Still, get her close enough to one of their attackers and she was more deadly than any phaser was. She just had to get there. She just had to find Lucy. 

Alex was still looking around when she felt a tap on her shoulder. What now? She turned to see Lena crouched behind her. Alex raised an eyebrow in question. She really didn't have time to babysit the ambassador right then. But as she turned, she saw that Lena had a small blaster of her own in her hand. 

"I thought you might be more proficient than I am," Lena said as she held the blaster out to Alex. "Diplomacy can be dangerous," was her only explanation as she handed it over. 

"Thank you," Alex whispered. She was happy to have a blaster in her hands again as she resumed her search for Lucy. 

She found Lucy just across the room, an assortment of other dignitaries huddled behind her. Their eyes met and with nothing more than that, Alex knew the plan. It was something Maggie and Lucy had probably practiced a hundred times. Hopefully, Maggie would think to loop her into the action once she started firing. 

The entire exchange took only seconds, and Alex immediately leaned around the wall and took aim at one of the attackers. Shwing. He went down, and Alex's estimation of Lena's blaster went up. It was small, but it worked. Her blast was followed by others from Lucy, Maggie, and the ensigns. It was working. The attackers were slowly thinning out.

Then the attackers got reinforcements. More men poured in from the back of the banquet hall.

Lucy looked over at Alex again then to Maggie. A hand gesture later and Alex, her body low, was sprinting to Lucy's position. She dove behind the cover where Lucy was crouched. "Still rusty or do you think you can get behind them?" Lucy asked as they continued firing on the attackers. Alex took a measuring look of the room and the attackers' positions. Suddenly the maze of couches and walls would work in her favor.

"It's been awhile, but yeah, I can get back there," Alex answered. Her heart was pounding and she was breathing deeply. The scorched air brought back memories. The last firefight she had been in was on Korlox. It was all Alex could do to push the memories away, but she had no choice. 

"Good. Do it." Lucy leaned around their cover and fired twice. Alex nodded and quietly slipped to the other end of the wall. It was the work of a moment to slide outside of the attackers' area of focus and between two of the couches. She flattened herself onto her stomach and slowed her breathing. It was going to take all of her training to get back there, but there was a reason Lucy had asked her to undertake the mission. It would be better to have a team with her, to truly be able to flank the attackers, but if anyone could do it alone, it was her. 

Alex army crawled along the floor, only lifting her head when absolutely necessary until she was just behind the attackers' flank. Then she slowly slid behind some cover immediately to their rear. She looked around the edge of her cover just long enough to make eye contact with Lucy before she started firing on their attackers from behind. She managed to pick off several of them before they realized what was happening, and by the time they turned around, Alex had disappeared again.

Her breath was coming harder now as adrenaline pumped through her body. Her heartbeat sped up. She hadn't lied to Lucy when she said she was a little rusty. These guys, however, weren't proficient enough for that to matter. 

As men fell to their rear, the resulting confusion made it easier for Lucy, Maggie, and the ensigns to pick off the remaining attackers. It was over. 

There was a twitch of movement to Alex's right and a flash of a disruptor bolt across her retinas. 

Time slowed. The bolt crackled through the air, just missing her, and shooting all the way across the reception hall where it caught Lucy square in the middle of the chest. Alex turned and fired at the sole remaining attacker just as the transporter beam took ahold of her. She didn't see if her shot had been true, but she knew that it was. The last thing she saw was the Eintari security forces rushing into the room. They were too late. They were too fucking late. 

As soon as Alex rematerialized, she fell to her knees reaching for Lucy. As her hands hit the blood on Lucy's chest, everything slammed back to normal time. She didn't know who was grabbing her and pulling her away from Lucy, but she fought with all of her might until she saw Lucy beamed away again. 

She finally got out of the arms wrapped around her chest, or whoever was holding her finally let go, it didn't matter. As soon as the pressure was gone, Alex was on her feet and running toward sickbay.

***

Lucy wasn't allowed to die. The words repeated like a mantra, like a prayer, in Alex's head as she sat by Lucy's bio-bed. She gripped Lucy's hand as hard as she dared, and the doctors let her be. J'onn had already been down and gotten a full briefing on the commander's condition, a conversation Alex eavesdropped on without guilt.

It was serious. The blaster bolt had disrupted several major systems. Lucy was lucky to be alive at all. 

Alex wanted to cry. 

Alex couldn't cry.

If she gave into the impulse now she would never stop. Alex rubbed Lucy's hand and held it again. Lucy was in a medically induced coma to give her body time to heal, but it would be days, maybe even a week, before they could wake her up. Even then there was no guarantee that Lucy would ever truly recover. If only Alex had noticed the attacker sooner, if only she had been that much faster, Lucy would be fine. Alex stared at Lucy with bloodshot eyes. 

They should have been joking about the mission, about how it didn't matter how long Alex spent in a lab, she was still the same badass she had been ever since she had graduated from the Academy. They should have been laughing at the clusterfuck it had turned into and how she and Lucy and Maggie had saved everyone's asses. They should have been… 

Alex squeezed her eyes shut against the tears gathering in the corners. 

It was her fault. Lucy was lying on a bio-bed on the verge of death because of Alex. Just like before, just like her whole team by the end of their mission to Korlox IV. 

It was her fault. 

Guilt settled heavily on Alex's shoulders, embracing her like an old friend. 

Lucy laid in front of her and it was her fault. She would stay there until Lucy woke up. She didn't have a choice.

The door behind her slid open and footsteps approached. 

"Go away," Alex barked over her shoulder without a look at who would dare to disturb her. She didn't wait to see if her order had been followed before turning back to Lucy and resuming her vigil. 

"I can't," Maggie said. "The Captain… he wants to see you in his ready room." She kept her voice soft as she tried not to antagonize Alex.

"You can tell J'onn to fuck off," Alex bit back. J'onn never should have made her go down to the planet in the first place. Maybe if she hadn't been there everything would be fine now. She was never speaking to J'onn again. They should have all been safe, studying the Giorgetti Lights, not playing at being diplomats on a mission that had been thought up 15 seconds ago. He they even had time to do a real security assessment? 

"Alex, you need to come with me," Maggie tried again.

Alex spun around. "Am I being arrested or court marshaled?" she practically yelled. Why couldn't Maggie just leave her alone? 

"Of course not," Maggie said, her own frustration coming through in her tone. Finally, something Alex could fight against. But she was too tired for that. 

"Then leave. me. alone." Alex said as she turned back to Lucy.

"Fine, I'll leave you alone, but Admiral Grant wants to see you now, and she won't take no for an answer." Maggie turned on her heel and left.

***

Alex barely waited for J'onn to say enter before she stalked into his ready room. It was only Admiral Grant's presence that stopped her from yelling at him, and she tried to reign in her temper. Her chest heaved with the attempt. It was only then that she noticed the blood that stained the cuffs of her sweater. It did nothing to improve her mood. Why did Admiral Grant want to see her? She hadn't done anything worth an admiral's attention.

"You wanted to see me, ma'am?" Alex said as she met Admiral Grant's eyes, her tone on the edge of insubordinate. She wanted to pace but she stood still. She needed to get back to Lucy. 

"It seems this ship is in need of a first officer." Admiral Grant's voice was deceptively placid. 

"I'm sorry, but I don't see how that's my problem," Alex couldn't help it if her tone was a little snarky. She had already spent her day dealing with things that weren't her problem, and it had led to one very big problem lying down in sickbay.

"Well, it's my problem," the admiral ground out. "Which means it's your problem because I say it is." Her voice got louder as she spoke. "You're still a commissioned officer, aren't you," Cat growled. 

"Yes, Admiral," Alex replied warily. She didn't like where this was going. She might still be an officer, but she was assigned to a science lab for a reason. She didn't want the kind of responsibility Admiral Grant was implying. 

"Then put on a damned uniform and act like it." The order was clear, and Alex knew she shouldn't question it. Still, it wasn't like she had much to lose. 

"With all due respect, Admiral…," Alex tried. Her own response sounded just as irritated at the admiral's 

"I don't give a damn about your respect," Admiral Grant said forcefully. "This ship needs a first officer and it isn't going to be a fucking lieutenant. You have command experience, use it," Admiral Grant bit out before she threw the PADD down on the table, turned, and stormed out of the ready room.

"Thanks for your support," Alex said sarcastically to J'onn who had been doing little more than standing there and watching the meeting. "I guess you got what you wanted." Alex followed the Admiral out, just as irate.

***

For lack of anything better to do, Maggie went through the sequence to scan the ship for security threats for the second time that shift. Admiral Grant, Ambassador Luthor, and James had been in the conference room for hours probably discussing what their next move should be, but Maggie really had no idea what they were thinking on that front. Personally, she thought they should leave the system and not look back. One attack on their personnel was one too many in Maggie's mind. A few tons of quintarian ore wasn't worth the damage she had seen done to Lucy.

For now, though, they were in a holding pattern. She anticipated being asked to help track down their attackers, but that hadn't happened yet, so she was running security sweeps. She barely looked up when the turbolift doors opened. It was probably just someone with a report for the captain. But she caught a flash of auburn hair that looked familiar. That was enough to catch her attention. 

Was that Danvers in a uniform? In a command uniform? Sure, she knew that Danvers was in Starfleet, but she was posted among civilians. She didn't have to wear a uniform, and Maggie certainly hadn't seen her in one. If nothing else, she would have noticed Danvers' ass in the uniform pants. She was going to have dreams about that ass.

Maggie took another, less subtle, look. Had she known that Danvers was command track and not science? That she was a frickin' lieutenant commander? She had assumed Danvers was just another lieutenant like most of the scientists she had run across. Fuck. Danvers outranked her.

Maggie was sure none of it had been in the personnel file she had read before Danvers had come onboard. _She was a scientist, damn it_. She wouldn't be wearing that uniform on the bridge if it wasn't true though, would she? J'onn wouldn't allow it. Still, the discrepancy in the file irked Maggie. What else was Danvers hiding? Her proficiency with a blaster and her ability to take Maggie's head off with a kick were clues, but Maggie didn't want to jump to any conclusions. She'd have to ask around. She'd have to ask around very carefully. She wouldn't want to attract the attention of Starfleet Intelligence. 

"Welcome aboard, Lieutenant Commander Danvers," J'onn said with a gleam in his eye. He stood and spun around to take Alex's new uniform in. Alex glared back at him but walked around the railing to the center of the bridge. 

"Captain," she managed to say with a relatively straight face. At least she didn't look like she wanted to commit murder right on the spot. When J'onn offered her his hand, she had no choice but to shake it. 

"Everyone, Commander Danvers is going to be filling in for Commander Lane while she recovers," J'onn said. It was news to Maggie. It looked like it was news to everyone on the bridge. Even Vasquez, the queen of shipwide gossip, look surprised. 

Kara had turned in her seat and looked ready to say something before some kind of look passed between the siblings and Kara turned back around.

Maggie took in the scene in front of her one more time. She wanted to get to the bottom of everything and there was no time like the present.

***

Alex sighed as the chime on her door went off. Her first shift had been long, all of them tense and waiting for a communication from the Eintari that never came. All she wanted was to sit down and maybe replicate a glass of wine. But this time there was only one person that could be at her door. Alex said, "come in," anyway.

The doors opened to a Kara who was trying, but failing, to keep a smile from her face. Alex rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Don't look at me like that." She held up a finger to keep Kara and her enthusiasm at bay. She knew exactly how Kara was going to react to seeing her in a uniform for the first time in two years, but Alex didn't want to hear it. 

"But Alex, this is--" Kara was on the verge of bouncing up and down before Alex cut her off.

"Temporary. As soon as Lucy is cleared for duty, I'm going back to my lab." Alex moved to sit down on her couch. Sitting was more important than wine.

"Okay, but still… This is a step forward. Mom'll be so happy." Kara moved father into the quarters, her eyes shining with happiness.

"No," Alex said sharply. It seemed like sitting wasn't going to happen yet. She pointed her finger at Kara. "We're not telling Mom. We're not giving her anything to be happy about because a week from now Lucy's going to be First Officer again and I'm going to be a lab rat hanging out with Winn. Don't make more of this than it is." 

Kara flopped onto Alex's couch. "Fine. But you're buying the ice cream." 

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that." Alex was already at the replicator, a carton of ice cream materializing in front of her. Why she didn't ask for two or have it put into bowls was a question she often asked herself. It was tradition though. She brought the cartons over to the couch and pushed Kara's legs back onto the floor. 

"Can you at least get me off of gamma shift?" Kara asked as she sat up. She made gimmie hands at the carton, wiggling her fingers in anticipation. Alex couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. 

"That's called nepotism. And I'm not touching the schedule. I'm sure Lucy has a system and I'm not going to mess it up and have her yelling at me." Lucy would yell at her. Loudly and emphatically. Lucy was probably going to yell at her anyway for letting her get shot. She needed to go back to the sickbay and check on the other woman. It would have to wait until Kara was gone first. 

"Hey, why are your quarters so much bigger than mine?" Kara asked as she looked around, the ice cream spoon hanging from her mouth. 

"Rank has its privileges. They're perfectly appropriate quarters for a commander," Alex said smugly. She might not like their location, but the quarters themselves were really nice. Her windows were big, her couch was comfy, and her bedroom was the only place she had been able to relax since she had come on-board. 

"Yeah, but you're just a lieutenant commander," Kara interrupted her revery. Right. That. Alex sighed. She hoped Kara hadn't noticed that.

Alex hung her head. "I'm not... I declined the promotion." It wasn't something she had told Kara before. It had been her secret. After the disaster on Korlox IV, she hadn't deserved the promotion. She liked her lab. It didn't matter what the brass thought she deserved, she didn't want the responsibility. "J'onn was trying to make a point." Everything about this trip had been J'onn trying to make some sort of point. 

"You… Alex…," Kara sighed. She put down the carton of ice cream and wrapped Alex in her arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Alex leaned into Kara's embrace. She had never questioned her decision before, but something about Kara's reaction got to her. How much had she really given up? "Yeah," Alex said, resignation in her voice. "Sometimes I think I am too."

***

It was late into Alex's next shift when the beeps of a hail filled the bridge. "Captain," Vasquez said as she tapped on her console. "We have an incoming message from the planet. It's encrypted but I think I can break the code. It doesn't look particularly sophisticated."

"Patch it through, Lieutenant," J'onn said. The viewscreen was filled with static for a long moment before a woman's face resolved into focus. 

"Captain J'onzz, thank you for talking to us. We thought you might ignore our hail." The woman was Eintari, that much was obvious, but she wasn't wearing any sort of insignia or uniform to signal just what group she belonged to. 

"I'm sorry, who, exactly, is 'us'?" J'onn asked. He didn't like mysteries. After his crew was attacked he liked them even less. 

"We're the Eintari Liberation Front and we are responsible for yesterday's attack," she said calmly as if her claim wasn't significant. 

In response, J'onn barely lifted an eyebrow. "If that's true, why haven't we heard of you? And why are you contacting us?"

"First, I want to apologize for what happened to your officer. No one was supposed to get hurt yesterday. It was only meant as a demonstration, a protest." As soon as the woman started talking, J'onn made a hand signal at Alex. She quickly got up walked to the conference room to let Lena, Admiral Grant, and James know what was going on. "And second, we must insist you cease negotiations over the quintarian ore."

"And why should we accede to your demands?" J'onn asked as Alex returned to her seat, their three guests following her onto the bridge. J'onn wrinkled his forehead in displeasure. 

The woman opened her mouth then closed it again as if thinking of the best way to deliver bad news. Finally, she spoke. "Because you must. Because if you don't, a terrible tragedy will befall the Eintari people. If you mine this ore, the entire planet will be destroyed."


	4. Chapter 4

"The _entire_ planet?" J'onn asked. "I assure you, we've done all of the necessary studies. The planet will be fine." J'onn tried to calm the woman. This was absurd. Mining the ore was perfectly safe. 

"No, it won't. You have no idea what will happen when you mine that ore. The ore is cursed. If you disturb it, you could bring chaos down on the planet."

"Why has no one mentioned this before today?" Lena asked as she stepped forward. Her brow was furrowed in concern. J'onn wanted to rub his forehead. Was this a legitimate cultural belief or just something a random faction had decided to make up to stop the drilling for other reasons. He was glad that with an admiral and an ambassador there, it wasn't his call to make. 

"We have. The central government refuses to take our concerns seriously. That is why we are hoping you can help us," the woman pleaded. She looked desperate. Desperate enough to shoot up a reception. 

Admiral Grant stepped forward, posture straight and lips pursed. "Shooting at our people isn't the best way to get our cooperation." Admiral Grant was right there. Lucy was in sickbay because of these people and he didn't like it. 

"I know, and again, I am sorry that one of your officers was injured. The attack was the only way we thought anyone would listen to us. Please, our encryption will only hold out or so long. Come down to the surface and speak with us. Please." The transmission got static-y again then cut out. 

"Senior staff. Now." Admiral Grant was already marching toward the conference room with Lena on her heels.

***

Admiral Grant stood at the head of the conference room table. "Someone tell me why the hell we didn't know about this before today." Her voice was quiet with rage. The members of the senior staff looked at each other in question. There was no way they could have known with a scant few days to prepare for the mission. Admiral Grant turned her gaze toward Lena.

"Don't look at me," Lena said. "This was all very last minute. We couldn't find out everything."

Cat slammed her hands down on the table. "I can not stand this incompetent bullshit." Sharp-eyed, she looked around the room. "You," she focused on Alex, "get an away team, get down there, and tell me what the hell is going on. And you better come back with a damned good explanation for this clusterfuck." 

Admiral Grant looked over to Lena. "I think we need to have a discussion," she said, only marginally calmer. 

"Certainly," Lena replied. In contrast to Admiral Grant, she exuded calm. She followed the admiral as she swept from the room. A moment later James excused himself to follow them.

***

Alex stood in the door to the armory and stared. The phaser rifles drew her attention first. They looked like the model, still prototypes, she had used on her last mission. She wanted one and its comforting weight now, but for this mission, it would be overkill. Too bad. She heard boot steps behind her.

"Something on your mind, Commander?" There was a twist in the way Maggie said commander like it wasn't quite true. Or maybe Alex was projecting. She turned to let Maggie into the space, though there wasn't really room in the doorway for both of them. She sucked in a breath and imagined she could smell Maggie's shampoo, something citrusy. Maggie was interesting. The one workout they had shared had left Alex intrigued. She was worth paying attention to, and Alex was glad to have a chance to work with her. 

"No. Just… it's been awhile." Alex shrugged and typed in her authorization code to check out a phaser. Maggie did the same.

"You sure you're up to this?" Now the skepticism in Maggie's voice came through clearly. Alex met Maggie's eyes. She was right to be skeptical. Alex hadn't led a group into potentially hostile territory in years, and the results when she did spoke for itself. Still, she could do this. She had all of the training to do this. 

"You don't have to worry about me," Alex said, letting fake confidence fill her eyes. "I know what I'm doing." She dared Maggie to say anything with her look.

"Right." Maggie backed down. She put her phaser in its holster and grabbed a tricorder as well. "I'll see you in the transporter room." Alex watched as Maggie turned and left.

***

Alex scrunched up her eyes as soon as the transporter beam let her go. The sun reflected brightly off of the empty expanse of sand in front of her. She was going to be spending forever getting sand out of her boots. Still, deserts were better than tropical jungles. "See anything?" she asked as she spun around to take in vast emptiness around her.

"No," Maggie replied as she looked at her tricorder. "These are definitely the right coordinates though." Alex looked to the two ensigns that came with them, but they didn't look like they were going to be much help. They both looked so young. There was an old joke about making how it was easy to Admiral if you could survive your first year as an ensign. Alex had never thought it was very funny. 

Just then the whine of another transporter cut through the air. Alex and Maggie immediately pulled out their phasers and aimed them at the column of light. The ensigns were only a second behind them. When the person rematerialized, it was the woman from the earlier communication. Two men materialized just over her shoulders. She already had her hands up. It didn't stop Alex or Maggie from keeping their phasers trained on her. 

"Peace," she said, "Please." The words were rushed. "We aren't here to hurt you." She looked frantic like Alex and Maggie might shoot her on sight. Alex was tempted.

"Why are we out here?" Alex asked against the wind blowing across her face. She wished she had something to keep the sand out of her eyes. 

"We couldn't be too careful. If the central government intercepted our communication, they would be able to find us. We couldn't risk the camp," she said. She was looking around nervously like the central government security forces might still appear at any time.

"Do you have a name?" Maggie asked.

"As I said, we are the Eintari Liberation--"

"No, I meant you personally."

"Oh! I am Barantee," she said. She looked around again. "But please, we don't have time for this. We must transport to our base." 

Alex and Maggie exchanged at look but Alex nodded. They didn't have much choice if they were going to fulfill their mission. "Fine."

Seconds later Alex felt the pull of the transporter. 

***

"May I join you?" Kara startled from her thoughts at the words and she looked up to see who had said them. She should have known it would be Lena. The ambassador seemed to be everywhere on the ship lately, or maybe just everywhere Kara was. She smiled a small smile and gestured to the seat beside her. Kara was currently sitting in the Excelsior's lounge looking down at Eintar. Alex was still down there. 

"Of course," Kara was halfway to standing when Lena waved her off. She couldn't fathom what Lena might want with her. The light flirting they'd engaged in so far had to be something Lena just did with everyone. 

"You don't need to do that," Lena said as she sat. She had a glass of something purple in one hand and she placed it on the table. "What has you looking so pensive?" she asked. 

"Oh, it's nothing really," Kara looked down, brow furrowed. "It's just… Alex and I have never served on the same ship. I didn't… I didn't have to worry about her before. I mean, I worried, but it wasn't so…" Kara bit her lip. She hoped Lena knew what she was trying to say.

"Immediate. I think I understand." Lena looked at Kara sympathetically. 

"Do you have any siblings?" 

"Uh… yes. A brother actually." Lena shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the question. It was the first time Kara had seen her anything less than perfectly poised. 

"What's he do? It's got to be less dangerous than this," Kara motioned to the view through the windows. 

"He…," Lena weighed her words carefully. "He was a member of the Orion Syndicate. He's in a maximum security prison now." 

"Oh, Lena, I'm so sorry." Kara reached out and put a hand on Lena's arm. That was the appropriate response, right? Kara didn't know. She'd never had someone share that sort of news with her before. 

"Really, it's no big deal. He's where he needs to be I suppose. It isn't like he was innocent or whatever you're thinking." Lena looked down into her drink then pushed it away. The glass scraped across the table. 

"Alright," Kara played with her own glass. It held nothing more exciting than sparkling water. She was still on duty. J'onn had dismissed her where she could get some rest before her overnight shift started, but Kara couldn't sleep with Alex still on the planet. "Well, that was a depressing conversation." 

"Well then, we should find something less depressing to talk about," Lena's teasing smile returned, any pensiveness wiped away like it was never there. "What do you do for fun around here, Kara Zor-El?" She picked up her glass and leaned back in her seat, waiting for Kara to answer her. 

"Uh," at that moment, Kara wished she had something to fiddle with, like old-fashioned glasses or something. "Well, I go to the holodeck." 

"And what do you do in the holodeck?"

"It's embarrassing," Kara said as her cheeks turned pink. She really didn't want Lena to think she was a huge dork, and that was exactly what she would think. Maybe Kara could make something up. 

"Tell me anyway. I won't make fun of you." Lena smirked, mirth lighting up her eyes.

There was something about Lena that made it impossible for Kara to say no. "I, uh, I pretend to be a superhero. My adoptive dad, he had this collection of comic books. Comics are--"

"I know what comic books are," Lena said as she chuckled.

"Uh, right," Kara hadn't met many people who were familiar. She wondered how Lena knew about them. "There's this series of programs that I really like called Supergirl. I know it's kind of a silly name, but I get to fly around and I have super strength, and I get to rescue people..." Kara trailed off. Now her face was bright red. She could feel the heat coming off of them.

"That doesn't sound all that much different than your day job, flying off to rescue people," Lena said smoothly. She reached over and ran her fingers over Kara's forearm. 

"You know, I'm Kryptonian. I actually can fly in systems with yellow suns. And I have x-ray vision, but we're always out in space, so," Kara shrugged. "The holodeck is the only place I can still do it." She missed it. She missed it terribly. She could get close to it in zero-g situations, but it wasn't the same. There was no rush of the wind through her hair. Zero-g was directionless. It was just floating. It wasn't flying. 

"That's amazing," Lena said. "You know Allysia is in a system with a yellow sun. You should come visit. I'd love to go flying with you." 

Kara blushed again. She'd really only ever taken Alex with her and she had a feeling that having Lena pressed up against her would be completely different than Alex. She coughed. She needed to get the conversation back on track. "Well, now that you know my deep, dark secret, what do you do when you aren't brokering peace treaties and things like that?" 

Lena leaned in and mock whispered, "Well, don't tell anyone, but I'm a big fan of Risa. The beaches are amazing." She settled back in her chair. "But when I can't get away, I like to read. I'll read almost anything."

"That's, uh, that's, uhm… that's, yeah," Kara stumbled over her words. All she could think about now was Lena on a pleasure planet, in a bathing suit, lying out in the sun. She took a sip of her drink to try to cover her reaction and maybe buy herself some time. Risa. Wow.

Lena laughed. "Have you ever been to Risa?" she asked.

"No, I've never had the chance." Kara shifted in her seat, startling when Lena's fingers brushed the back of her hand. 

"Well, after this is all over, you should visit. I have a beach house there that you're welcome to use." 

"Uhm, thank you. I'd, uh, much rather visit Allysia though and watch the race. It's soon, isn't it?" Kara asked with interest. She was going to see the race someday even if wasn't this year. 

"Just a few weeks away. I'm actually going to be home for it this year, assuming these negotiations are finished by then. Maybe I'll invite your captain to bring the ship for shore leave. It's no Risa, but it's still a good time, particularly around the race. You'll have to stay with me."

Something told Kara that it wasn't the ship Lena was really concerned about. Kara wasn't sure what to do with that information, but she was certainly flattered. "That would be really awesome."

"Senior staff to the bridge," the computer called out from the ceiling.

"And that's my cue," Kara said. "I'll talk to you later." She stood up and smiled at Lena before she turned and left the room. 

A moment later, the computer called for Lena to come to the bridge as well.

***

When Kara made it to the bridge, the Eintari president was on the viewscreen and it looked like he was in the middle of a conversation with Admiral Grant and J'onn. She tried to discreetly slide into the seat at her station, but she wasn't sure she succeeded when the president's eyes flicked down for a moment. Oops.

"You don't need to engage with these radicals," President Antoo said, his comment directed at Admiral Grant. 

It was a newly arrived Lena who answered. "Due respect, President Antoo, we want to make sure we hear their concerns before we commit ourselves to this treaty. I'm sure it will turn out to be nothing serious." 

If they didn't think it was serious, why was her sister down on the planet doing who knows what? Kara knew the answer, but she didn't like it. J'onn and Admiral Grant thought there was something there. They just weren't willing to reveal it. Kara's stomach roiled. 

"Fine, fine," President Antoo said. "But this treaty had an expiration date. I'm sure we can find another buyer for the ore, the Ferengi perhaps." With that, the communication cut off.

***

The Eintari Liberation Front's camp was surprisingly well supplied. It looked more like a very small village than something thrown together out of desperation. Maggie looked around in curiosity. She saw the telltale blue blinking lights of planetary scanners off to one side and what looked like a communal meeting area to the other. She couldn't tell where the disruptors were stored. Still, from what she could see of the population, no one was armed. That didn't mean she could let down her guard.

"So, what is it you brought us here to see?" Alex asked.

"This," Barantee said as she led them over to the scanners. Alex holstered her phaser and looked at the readouts. Alex put away her phaser and leaned over the scanner. Maggie stationed herself at Alex's back, watching out for anything dangerous that might occur. 

After a long moment, Alex looked away from the console. "I don't see anything out of the ordinary."

"We have tried to mine the ore before, and each time something terrible has befallen our planet. Earthquakes, floods, fires, all with no explanation." Barantee looked nearly desperate. "The central government will tell you it's all coincidence, but it is not. We don't know why, but it must be because the ore is cursed. Please, we are on top of a vein of qiuntarian now. Let us prove it to you." 

Alex looked back at Maggie, silently asking her opinion. Maggie nodded. This was going to be fun.

"Alright, let's get on with it."

***

Alex and Maggie stood on top of a ridge overlooking a copse of trees. Supposedly underneath it was a vein of ore.

"This is the most sophisticated mining equipment on the planet," Barantee said gesturing at what looked like an industrial transporter. Alex gave her a sideways look but didn't ask how they had gotten it. "Just watch." With that, she started up the equipment with Alex watching over her shoulder. It was only minutes before the ground started to tremble and the copse of trees started to smoke. Barantee powered down the equipment. "Now do you see?"

"How do we know the equipment isn't programmed to do that?" Maggie asked.

"You're welcome to inspect it and to use it yourselves. The outcome won't be any different."

"Still, we'd like to try." Alex sighed and look Barantee's place at the equipment. The systems diagnostic was quick. Alex poked at the touchscreen on the console until she figured out how it worked. Then she initiated the mining sequence. The ground started to shake again. The copse of trees caught on fire. Alex aborted the mining operation as a fleet of drone took off to put out the fire. 

Alex shared a look with Maggie. "We'll go back to the ship and tell them what we saw. We can't make any promises," Alex said. With that Alex said, "four to beam up," and they disappeared.

***

"We have at least take into account these people's beliefs. Particularly after Commander Danvers' report. They aren't just making things up out of nowhere," Lena said emphatically. James knew better than to get in the middle of this conversation. He sat as unobtrusively as he could halfway down the side of the conference table where Lena and Cat were facing off.

"It's the superstition of a small faction of fanatics. I won't allow 20 people to screw up this deal." Cat leaned forward with her fingertips spread out on the table. James knew that tone of voice. It generally left people shaking in their boots. 

"It more than 20 people and you know that," Lena said unintimidated. James gave her points for that.

"It's a small minority. They lost an election and now they're trying to take their government hostage." Cat replied. 

Lena rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying I agree with their tactics." James was amazed that Cat didn't take her head off. He guessed there was some advantage to being a well-respected ambassador. 

James finally spoke up. "Maybe they're onto something," he said. "You know what Commander Danvers and Lieutenant Sawyer said they saw… There has to be some other, logical explanation."

"If you can find it, then find it. But do it quickly. We finalize this trade agreement with the Eintari in 24 hours and then it's going back to the Federation Council for approval."

***

Everything hurt. There was the faintest of grey light shining against her eyelids and she wished it would go away. Lucy tried to lift her arm to cover her eyes but moving just made the pain worse. She groaned. It seemed groaning was the only thing she could do that didn't hurt. It felt like she had been kicked in the chest by a Tarkarian wildebeest.

She felt a hand take hers as she slowly, slowly opened her eyes. She winced against the bright lights. "Wha…," she tried to say, but her voice was dry and scratchy with disuse. 

"Shhh," said the voice of whoever was holding her hand. "Don't try to talk. You're back on board the Excelsior. You were hit with a disruptor blast at the Eintari reception, and you're in sickbay now."

Lucy tried to look around without actually moving. There were so many words. Did she need to remember them?

"You're going to feel pretty terrible for a while, but you're going to be fine," the voice reassured her.

Lucy replied unintelligibly and slipped back into sleep.

***

Alex was in her quarters when the message came through on an encrypted channel. She sat at her desk, answered it, and put in the last top-secret security code that she had used. She hoped it worked. It was a recording. A captain she didn't know appeared on the screen.

"Lieutenant Commander Danvers," it started, "this is a standard warning that someone has been looking into your cover. Please take all necessary precautions to maintain it. Captain Christopher out." 

Alex leaned back in her desk chair. Her eyebrows furrowed in concern and she tapped her fingers against the desk. J'onn already knew and Lucy heavily suspected. That only left a few people with the potential contacts to find anything out, and she could guess just who that might be.

***

James ran the data through the computer one more time. There had to be a rational explanation for the earthquake and the fire Alex and Maggie had observed. He kept scanning the planet hoping for something he had missed the first time. Why would qiuntarian ore cause those sorts of phenomena? It was almost like the ore was trying to protect itself.

The computer beeped at him, and he looked toward that part of the console. The tritonium levels were high. James focused on those scans. It wasn't high enough to attract anyone's attention really, well within the acceptable parameters, but it was something. He zoomed into the part of the planet they had beamed Alex and Maggie up from. The levels there were even higher. Maybe that had something to do with the strange occurrences. 

Why would the levels be higher though? James had a thought, but he needed confirmation before he presented it to Admiral Grant.


	5. Chapter 5

"I think there are energy creatures laced throughout the quintarian ore," James said. The senior staff was back in the conference room and giving him their full attention. God, he hoped he was right, or he had called everyone together for no reason. Worse, he had wasted Cat's time. That was an almost unforgivable sin. 

"And what makes you think that?" Cat asked clearly skeptical. 

"The rising tritonium levels," he replied. "The quintarian, and mining it, shouldn't have any effect on those levels, but everywhere the ore has been mined has a higher tritonium count. There aren't many things that produce tritonium radiation, particularly in measurable amounts," James continued. "But Starfleet has scanned a few space-faring entities that have the same radiation signature."

"So you're saying part of this planet is actually alive?" J'onn asked. 

"Exactly. And we haven't noticed it before because it isn't just one large creature. I think it's actually a whole network of smaller creatures laced throughout the quintarian. Probably trapped there for some reason. When someone tries to mine it, they're disturbed and the fires and earthquakes are just a defense mechanism."

Alex shifted in her seat, "that means they've been trapped in there for centuries."

"So, if these energy beings actually are trapped on the planet, how do we free them?" Cat asked. 

"That… I don't know. Actually, I was hoping that Lieutenant Schott might be able to help with that."

Winn stiffened now that all of the eyes in the conference room were on him. "I, uh, yeah. I can probably come up with something. If we tune the deflector dish to the right frequency, we might be able to draw them out and back into space. I'm just going to need some time to figure out how we need to modify everything."

"Fantastic," Cat said drolly. "Do it where we can get this treaty signed and get out of here. Lena and I will take care of President Antoo. Captain, can you get in touch with those rebels and tell them what we're going to do?" 

"Certainly, Admiral," J'onn answered.

"Good. You're all dismissed."

***

"They told me you were awake," Alex said as she walked over to Lucy's bed in sickbay. She took a seat on a nearby stool and rolled it over.

"Yeah, for better or worse," Lucy replied. She rubbed at a spot on her chest and winced. "It hurt a lot less when I was unconscious." 

Alex slipped her hand under Lucy's. Instead of pulling it back, which Alex was convinced she was going to do, Lucy squeezed it. Alex squeezed back. 

"I still prefer you this way," Alex said as she pulled up Lucy's medical record on a nearby console. She read over it quickly. It didn't look good, but at least Lucy was no longer in danger of dying.

"Anything interesting in there? The doctors here haven't really told me anything." Lucy tried to lean over to see but she must have been in pain. She winced again and laid back down.

"Nothing you can't guess," Alex joked. Then she continued more seriously. "You almost died, Lucy. You almost died and it was my fault." Alex hung her head. She wasn't going to cry. She took a deep, steadying breath.

"I don't remember much, but unless you pulled the trigger, this isn't your fault." Lucy squeezed Alex's hand again. Alex squeezed back. What had they been fighting about before? It didn't seem all that important anymore.

"You know I don't believe that." Alex shook her head. If she just had been paying more attention she could have stopped the attacker before he had a chance to shoot Lucy. She had been right. She was rusty, and she should never have tried to get behind the attackers in the first place. 

"I know. But you aren't responsible for all of the universe's ills, Alex. You need to remember that." Lucy let go of Alex's hand to cup the side of her face. She brushed her thumb over Alex's cheek in a gesture laced with familiarity. 

"Yeah," Alex replied as she ever so slightly leaned into the touch before she pulled away and straightened up. 

Lucy let her hand drift down and tugged at the shoulder of Alex's uniform. "It looks good on you. I hear you've taken my job," she teased. 

"It's just temporary." Alex would be happy to give Lucy back her job just as soon as she was on her feet again. She missed her lab, missed being able to be selfish with her time.

"Which part?" Lucy asked. 

"All of it."

"Mmmm. You know we need a tactical officer," Lucy said. It was more than a hint. "You'd be good at it." Alex wasn't so sure. 

"And take orders from you?" she joked. It was the only response she could think of. 

"Hey, there was a time when you were happy to follow my orders," Lucy did her best to leer. She failed spectacularly. Alex laughed.

"Yeah, well, you see how well that worked out." Alex's voice was soft again and full of regret.

Lucy sighed. "I'm sorry for what happened. I know I--"

"It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have kicked you out like that. I… You were just trying to help." Alex reached for Lucy's hand again.

"Well, I wasn't doing a very good job of it. If there's any blame, we share it." Lucy laced her fingers with Alex's just holding her hand. "And personally, I'd like my friend back."

***

_Two years earlier_

 _Alex stepped off of the shuttle and onto Deep Space Nine proper._ She wore brown trousers tucked into knee-high boots and a cream linen shirt covered by a brown vest. She had a contraband phaser hidden in her bag and several sharp knives hidden on her person. The security chief was rumored to be nearly psychic in his ability to find contraband, but he had never encountered Alex Danvers before. She could blend into the background with the best of them. She wasn't planning on staying on the station anyway. She was getting on the first ship to the Gamma Quadrant she could find and she was never coming back. Starfleet could fuck off.

First, she had to find a ship. Finding a ship on Deep Space Nine meant going to Quark's.

All told, it wasn't a long walk, and as the loudest, brightest place on the Promenade, Quark's was easy to find. Alex slipped onto a bar stool and opened her ears. Someone out there would accept her as either a pilot or a doctor or even a random crewmember. It was just another undercover op, easy enough, even if it would be her last one. 

She ordered a drink from a passing waiter and downed it in one go. There was no need for her to be sober during this mission. A second drink appeared in front of her before she could ask. She took a sip and settled in for the night.

*

_Alex slumped over on her bar stool, but her eyes were still bright and alert._ It would take a few more drinks to make her that drunk, but the ruse was useful. A freighter captain was sitting beside her and regaling a dabo girl with exploits from his last run. He was a little scruffy and a little sketchy but didn't look like he was interested in doing anything exceptionally illegal. Well, nothing illegal except for harboring her after she joined his crew the next day. Better still, he was planning on spending at least the next year in the Gamma Quadrant. Long enough for her to get far away then find another ship to take her even farther. That was enough of a plan for the night. She stood to make her way to her temporary quarters when someone shoved into her hard from behind.

"Get the fuck off of me," she growled as she spun around. Alright, maybe she _was_ a little drunk. She shoved the body away from her. Her assailant stumbled back a few feet before she righted herself. A Klingon. Fuck. An angry Klingon. 

The Klingon woman lunged at her and Alex sidestepped her. She didn't need a fight. Fights attracted attention. But she was in one now. Best that she win and win quickly. Luckily, the klingon kept her knife sheathed. Hand to hand then. Alex moved inside the klingon's guard and slammed both fists into the woman's solar plexus. Unfortunately, she recovered too quickly and Alex ended up thrown into the bar, glasses, and stools scattered around her. She took half a moment to recover before she shoved off of the bar feet first and into the klingon. She was just getting ready to throw another punch when a hard grip came down on her shoulder. She looked around and saw security guards swarming the bar. Double fuck. Then the klingon shook off her guard and threw another punch. It hit Alex square in the cheek and she passed out.

*

_Lucy looked down at Alex's unconscious form lying propped up in the holding cell._ There was a dark purple bruise painted over the entire left side of Alex's face. If there had been any further damage it had presumably already been repaired.

"You'll take responsibility for her?" the security officer asked. 

Lucy nodded. "Yeah. She's on leave. Just trying to blow off some steam, you know. And she's the type where if someone swings at her, she's going to swing back."

"Yeah, next time tell her to blow off steam somewhere else. Her knives are locked up up front when you're ready to grab them. We'll have to keep the phaser. Haven't seen anything like it before," the guard shrugged, seemingly unconcerned with the novelty. 

"I will," Lucy said over her shoulder as she crouched down to Alex's level. Behind her, the guard turned off the forcefield. "Alex, hey. Wake up." Lucy grabbed Alex's foot and shook it hard. 

Alex groaned. Lucy shook her foot again. Alex flailed as she came awake. "Wha--" She took a sharp breath in before she moaned. "The fuck?" she said as one of her eyes finally opened. The other was swollen shut. "Lucy? What're you doing…?"

"I'm saving your sorry ass," Lucy said, her tone laced with irritation. "Come on. Get up."

"Yes, ma'am," Alex said as she scrambled upright using the wall to guide her assent. 

Lucy slung one of Alex's arms over her shoulder. "Let's get you out of here and onto the ship where I can yell at you without anyone overhearing us."

*

_"You were going to disappear into the Gamma Quadrant?_ You were going to _desert_? What the fuck were you thinking?" Lucy shoved at Alex's shoulder. Alex let it carry her backward and into the bulkhead. The jostling made her face hurt. They were back on the shuttle Lucy had hired to take her to Deep Space Nine and headed back home.

"I don't know," Alex said. It had seemed like such a good idea just the day before. 

"You don't know? How the hell can you not know?" Lucy was irate. Alex flinched away. "You're lucky I came after you, you dumbass. You should be glad you're still on leave or you'd be getting fucking court-martialed, and you're too good of an officer for your career to end like that. God damn it, Alex." Lucy finally seemed to run out of words. Lucy pulled out a first aid kit and reached for the dermal regenerator. Alex flinched. 

"Just leave it," she said as she waved Lucy away. 

"You're a stubborn ass," Lucy said but she put the regenerator away. 

"Yeah, but you still love me," Alex joked. 

"Fortunately for you, you idiot," Lucy said. Then Lucy did the one thing Alex would never have anticipated. Lucy leaned up and pressed her lips against Alex's. It was the briefest of kisses but it rocked Alex back on her heels. "You can't just run away like that, Alex. You can't run away from me," Lucy said before she cupped the uninjured side of Alex's face and pulled her down into another kiss. This time Alex responded. She opened her mouth under Lucy's as she spun them around where she could press Lucy against the bulkhead. She ran her hands up Lucy's sides wishing she could get them under Lucy's uniform. Lucy moaned as the heat between them grew.

*

_Lucy yawned and rolled over reaching for Alex across the bed, but Alex wasn't there._ That wasn't a particularly uncommon occurrence. In the months that they had been doing whatever it was they were doing, Alex was only still in bed with Lucy when Lucy had to wake early to get to her duty station. Alex had nightmares, but every time Lucy tried to ask about them, Alex rebuffed her saying they were classified. How could nightmares be classified? She already knew the outline of what had happened on Korlox IV. Alex had been shouting about it in her sleep. Why would talking about while awake be any different?

Plus, Lucy could connect the dots. Alex was on Earth for medical leave, but she looked perfectly fine. She had terrible nightmares. She disappeared for long periods during the middle of the day. Or she'd be at home and drunk off her ass. And there was that attempt at deserting. Whatever had happened hadn't been good. 

Lucy thought about it some more as she slid out of bed and into the shower. Then there were the missed counseling appointments. Lucy had overheard enough of Alex's communications to know she had now canceled several in a row. 

Lucy was just pulling her uniform on when Alex stumbled into the apartment. It was first thing in the morning and she already smelled of whiskey and smoke. Lucy sighed as she went over to help Alex to the couch. "You know it's 8 am, right?" Lucy didn't want to nag, but she was worried. 

"Not in Tokyo it isn't," Alex said as she slumped down and put her feet up on the couch. 

"Don't you have a counseling appointment in an hour?" Lucy asked.

"'M not going," Alex slurred. 

"Alex, your leave isn't going to last indefinitely. Eventually, you have to come back to the land of the living," Lucy tried to reason with Alex.

Alex sat up. "The living? Me? Why should I get to be alive? No one else gets to come back. They're just dead. What makes me special?" Alex laughed bitterly. "No, I'm good here. Dead too."

"But you're not dead, Alex. And I think you need to go to that appointment." Lucy pleaded with Alex.

"You don't know anything about it, Lucy. You have no clue what I need." Alex stood up. "You should have just let me leave when we were on Deep Space Nine."

"Alex, you know I couldn't do that." Lucy reached out and took Alex's arm only to be shrugged off. 

"Why not? It was what I wanted." Alex's voice was steady but Lucy could see the pain behind her eyes. 

"Because I'm your friend, and I care about you, and I couldn't let you throw everything away like that." Lucy just wanted Alex to stop fighting everything around her. Didn't she know that Lucy wasn't her enemy?

Alex laughed bitterly. "If you were my friend, you'd leave me alone."

Alex's communication screen beeped and J'onn's face filled it. Just a recording then. "Alex," he said, "I'm going to be there in five minutes. Make sure you're ready for your appointment.

Lucy sighed in relief. Maybe J'onn could get Alex out of the apartment to somewhere other than a bar. Alex gave the screen a dirty look. 

"I'm not going leave you alone, Alex. And neither is J'onn," Lucy said. She stepped closer to Alex. Alex backed away.

"Fuck you. You know what? You're not my friend, Lucy Lane. You're just using me. If you think something is so wrong with me, why the fuck are you in my bed? 'Alex isn't doing so great so this is the perfect time to act out my adolescent fantasies'?" 

Lucy rocked back on her heels. Was that what Alex really thought? No. That couldn't be true. "Alex, you don't mean that... You don't get to yell at me just because I care about you."

"I don't want you to care about me. I want you to get the fuck out. Just leave." Alex shouted as she pushed Lucy toward the door.

"Fine. If that's what you want then fine. I'm leaving. You don't have to worry about me coming back. And screw you." Lucy grabbed her things for work that day and stomped out. Anything else she had left, she could just replicate.

"Good luck," she said bitterly to J'onn as she passed him in the hallway.

***

James paced from one end of engineering to the other. Finally, an annoyed Winn got in his way and forced him to stop. "You know, I'm not going to get this fixed any faster with you hovering down here. You can go back to your quarters. I'll let you know when we're ready to go."

"Yeah, but it feels better to pace here. I can see how close we are to getting this done," James replied. He rubbed his hands together. They were on a deadline after all and Cat hated being late with anything. This had to work. 

Winn sighed. "Right. Just… try to stay out of the way, okay?"

***

"Okay, we're ready to go," Winn said through the communications system. There was a nervous energy flowing through the bridge. Everyone wanted this to succeed. J'onn took a deep breath. "Lieutenant Vasquez, deploy the beam," he commanded.

The beam appeared on the viewscreen, stretching from the Excelsior to Eintar. It glowed green in space. Everyone waited for something to happen. Nothing. Nothing. 

Then the beam started sparkling as hundreds of lights shot upwards. They scattered as soon as they hit space but quickly came together again. It was like a cloud of fireflies hung just off to port. 

There was a collective sigh of relief. "Lieutenant Vasquez, make sure we cover all of the quintarian deposits."

She said, "yes sir," and did exactly as ordered.

Now they could get on with signing the treaty.

***

Kara was just stepping out of the shower when her door chimed. "Just a minute," she called out as she quickly donned her clothing. Once she was presentable, she walked over and pressed the panel to open her door. She blinked in surprise when she saw Lena on the other side. "Uh, come in," she said as she stepped back.

"Can I help you with something, Ambass-- Lena?" She wrung her hands together. Why was Lean visiting her quarters? Had she done something wrong? Kara didn't think she had done anything wrong.

"Come sit with me," Lena said as she sat on Kara's couch. She stretched her arm out along the back.

"Sure," Kara replied as she sat next to Lena. Kara's couch wasn't very big. Suddenly they were much closer together. Lena reached out and brushed a strand of Kara's hair back, tucking it behind her ear. 

"Oh, I don't need anything specific. I just wanted to come by and thank you for your hospitality," Lena said. "Despite everything that happened, I enjoyed my stay and you, you were a big part of that." Lena looked down bashfully.

"Oh, well, it was my pleasure," Kara replied. She didn't know exactly what she had done beyond have a few conversations, but if Lena appreciated them that much who was to judge? Besides, she enjoyed spending time with Lena too. "So I guess you're off now? Back to Allysia?"

"Mmhmm," Lena kept playing with Kara's hair, subtly leaning in. "On a fast shuttle that should be here any time now." 

"Wow, so soon?" Kara mimicked Lena's posture. 

"I want to get home before the festivities start," Lena said. "And I can't very well stay here."

"No, I guess not," Still, it was a shame. Kara had hoped that J'onn would take up Lena's offer of shore leave on Allysia and they could escort the ambassador home. Kara tried to hide her disappointment. "It was nice having you onboard though." This time it was Kara who reached out and touched Lena, rubbing a hand down her arm. She marveled at how soft Lena's skin was. 

A chime went off just as Kara took Lena's hand. "Oh shoot," Kara said as she pulled away. "That's my warning that I have to leave for the bridge. I'm on the gamma, er, overnight, shift this week. I'm really sorry. I have to go."

Kara stood up and Lena rose as well. Lena smiled an enigmatic smile as she leaned in and hugged Kara. "It was nice getting to know you, and don't worry, I don't think this is the last we'll see of each other."

***

Maggie stepped through the holodeck door not quite sure just what she was going to find on the other side. The clang of metal hitting metal wasn't exactly unexpected. An empty field covered in low grass stretched around her. Alex looked good with a sword. It was something like a katana, but it had a distinctly alien look to it. For one, the blade was bright blue. Or maybe it was just the way Alex was wielding it. Her opponent looked to be giving Alex a good fight, but Alex was still slowly winning.

"Want some help with that?" Maggie called out. Alex didn't even flinch at Maggie's words. She just kept focusing on her opponent. 

"I thought I locked that door," Alex rose her voice to be heard over the sound of the swords. Pary. Thrust. Pary. Thrust. Apparently, Alex didn't need any help.

"You did, but the Chief of Security has the override codes and I wanted to talk." Not wanting to get caught in the crossfire, Maggie stayed where she was. Alex maneuvered her opponent where he was between her and Maggie. She looked over his shoulder. 

"Isn't that an abuse of power? And what's so important that you couldn't wait until I was finished?" Alex turned her attention back to her opponent just in time to block a swipe to her head.

"I wanted to make sure we were alone," Maggie said. She wasn't sure when she'd get another chance. It was a small enough ship. Someone was always walking into seemingly private areas. A locked holodeck was an exception.

"Well, we're alone. What do you want?" Alex spun around, blocked a swing at her side and swung back out in turn. 

"I want to know why there wasn't anything in your file about you being a command track lieutenant commander." With a flick of her wrist, Alex decapitated her opponent and gave Maggie her full attention. Showoff. Maggie raised her eyebrows at how sharp the sword must be. 

"You read my file?" Alex raised an eyebrow. 

"I read what Starfleet wants to pretend is your file. That's what it is, right? A fake?" Maggie put her hands on her hips. 

"Everything in that file is true," was Alex's only response. "I'm a Starfleet science officer and I've been working in a lab doing astrophysics research for the last two years. Before that, I was on medical leave."

Maggie didn't believe Alex for a second. "Yeah, but there's more to you than that." She tilted her head toward the sword still in Alex's hand. "Obviously."

"I told you, martial arts are just a hobby." Alex picked a sheath up off of the ground and as soon as the sword was in it the entire thing disappeared. 

"Bullshit. Just like it's bullshit that none of my friends can find out a damned thing about you. Or if they can, they aren't telling me. But I do know that you weren't stationed half of the places you 'real' file says you were." 

"I hate to tell you, but everything in that file is real too. It's just more detailed than J'onn thought necessary to share with you." Maggie scrunched up her nose. She didn't like being kept out of the loop.

"Yeah, the one that's supposedly your actual Starfleet file isn't real either. Or at least it isn't complete. It says you were stationed on Vulcan at the end of the war when we both know that isn't true. I have a buddy who was stationed there, and he doesn't remember you. So I can only assume that Starfleet's covering up where you actually were," Maggie said as she tilted her head in question. 

"I don't know what you're talking about. Your buddy's mistaken" Alex replied. If Alex had any tells, Maggie couldn't see them. "I commend you for finding an old file that wasn't really hidden, my file from before I started to focus on science full time. So what? It wasn't that much of a secret. Anything beyond that, you're just being paranoid."

It was Maggie's job to be paranoid. She needed to know exactly who she was dealing with when they were on her ship, and she didn't appreciate being lied to. "I don't think I am. I think you were spec ops and that's why it's so hard to find out anything about you." 

In fact, Maggie was certain of it. The holes in Alex's story could only lead to that conclusion. Alex's file said she was stationed at West Point for most of her stint as a junior grade lieutenant and that might as well be code for an assignment to special operations. That was where they trained, after all. Everything after that seemed fine until after her promotion to Lieutenant Commander. She'd served on the USS Venture for several years before another hole appeared. It was papered over with fake assignments, fake assignments it had taken all of Maggie's contacts to discover. And none of it explained why she had spent the last two years as a research scientist on Earth. That, at least, seemed completely true.

Alex shook her head, "You have a hell of an imagination, Sawyer." Alex grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat off of her face, but she gave Maggie a lethal smile as she walked out of the holodeck.

***

Alex took a seat on the couch in J'onn's ready room. This time she accepted the cup of coffee he offered her. She was right. It was significantly better than the standard replicator version.

"So," J'onn asked, "are you settling into your new responsibilities?" He sat next to Alex and leaned into the couch. 

"As much as is necessary to considering I won't be doing them a week from now." Alex sighed. She appreciated J'onn checking up on her, but she already knew where this conversation was going. Maybe she could head him off. "Don't, just… don't get used to having me around. As soon as my research is finished and Lucy is better, I'm going back to my lab. I like my lab, J'onn."

"Come on Alex, admit it, you're bored in your lab," J'onn said as he took a sip of his coffee. 

"I'm not," Alex shook her head. "I swear to you I'm not." And she wasn't. Really. She liked her research. It was compelling and it gave her a sense of purpose, one that had been sorely lacking in the immediate aftermath of Korlox IV.

"Starfleet won't wait forever, you know. Particularly now that Admiral Grant knows how capable you are. She hates letting talent go to waste. She'll want to assign you somewhere." J'onn leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. "I can't protect you from an Admiral."

"Then I'll do what I threatened to do two years ago and resign," Alex said as she leaned back and put a hand on her forehead. There was no rancor in her voice, just resignation. "I could get a job on faculty somewhere, or I'm sure I can get a job with any number of private labs."

"How many of those offers have you already turned down?" J'onn asked without judgment. 

"Three or four," Alex mumbled. She knew what he was thinking. If she really wanted out of her responsibilities to Starfleet, she had had ample opportunities to leave. That wasn't the same. She couldn't pinpoint how, but it wasn't.

"Mmm," J'onn said as he crossed her arms and sighed. "Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that." 

There was a pause in the conversation before J'onn started speaking again. "You should know Ambassador Luthor invited the ship to Allysia for shore leave during the Allysian Grand Prix. It's only a few days from now and I've decided to take her up on her offer."

"J'onn…," Alex groaned. Another delay? Really? Alex felt her temper building.

"Hear me out, Alex. I'm giving you a runabout where you can go out there and study the lights," he said. 

Alex deflated from her anger. "What's the catch?" she asked. There was bound to be a catch. 

"I want you to take Lieutenant Sawyer with you," J'onn said. "You can't go alone, and she's the most capable of my officers to assist you if something goes wrong out there."

"Fine," Alex said. If it got her out to the Cassian system, she'd deal with the added company. And if it meant several days alone with Maggie being subjected to what was sure to be endless questions about her past, well, Alex had survived worse. "When can I… we leave?"

"As soon as you can get your equipment ready. I'll let Lieutenant Sawyer know."

"Thank you, J'onn." It wouldn't hurt her to be gracious.

End Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some questions finally got answered! 
> 
> Stick around for episode two!


	6. Part II: Revelry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Alex go on a trip together, and Kara gets to fulfill one of her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus starts story two!!!

"So you're a pilot too?" Maggie asked as she watched Alex input the coordinates for the Cassian system into the flight computer. The cockpit of the runabout was a small, grey space lit almost entirely by the glow of the consoles and panels that ringed the area. It could hold up to four crew members if they were friends. The whole ship was larger by three quarters. The space immediately behind the cockpit was full of Alex's equipment and after that, there were small crew quarters and a conference room. It was more than enough space for this mission, but Alex was glad J'onn had given them the runabout and not one of the smaller shuttles. 

"Kara's the pilot. I just dabble," Alex answered. Everyone in the special operations forces had to be able to pilot a ship, but it had never been Alex's strong suit. Compared to Kara, she was an amateur, but she could get them to where they were going and then back again. 

"You dabble?" Maggie sounded skeptical. "Just like you dabble in both Klingon and Furovian, yeah, I looked that one up, martial arts. And how you just happen to be an excellent shot?" Maggie humpfed out a laugh. "You're awfully deadly for a research scientist, Danvers."

"I like being able to take care of myself," Alex said absently as she finished programming the computer and hit the engage button. They jumped to warp before she really paid attention to Maggie. "Are you going to keep up with this conspiracy theory for the entire trip?" she asked. 

Maggie shrugged. "Maybe. I haven't decided yet."

"Look, even if I was spec ops, there's no way I could just tell you about it. That would have to be against a dozen different orders."

"Yeah, but a wink and a nudge would do it. C'mon, Danvers, give me something here." Maggie joked. 

"Fine. Yes. I am spec ops. I'm the thing that goes bump in the night," Alex said sarcastically but there was a hint of anger in her voice. "And now, just because the great Maggie Sawyer asked, I'm going to reveal all. Because I'm like a genie and once you free me I have to do what you say. Oh wait, I'm not and I don't." 

"C'mon, I'm not hiding any grand secrets from you, Sawyer, so just drop it. I don't want to spend the next week with you interrogating me about something that isn't there." Alex finished what had turned into a rant. Maybe that would get Maggie off her case. She hoped it would. She didn't want to spend the week deflecting whatever theories Maggie came up with. It was bad enough that she had noticed inconsistencies in what was supposed to be an airtight file. Alex wasn't sure why special operations command had let that happen, but they had to have _let_ it happen. One random security officer wasn't capable of that. 

"Fine, alright. I'll leave it alone," Maggie said as she held up her hands in surrender. "I didn't know it bothered you that much."

"It's fine," Alex said as she turned back to the console. She just wanted Maggie to stop being so damned annoying. It was going to be a long trip.

***

Kara was almost literally vibrating with excitement when they entered orbit around Allysia. She could feel the energy from the yellow sun suffusing her veins. She hovered slightly above her chair on the bridge just because she could. She was going to be on Allysia during the Grand Prix! She was going to get to see it!

There were so many ships orbiting the planet, Kara was worried that she might bump into one of them. The Excelsior was quite a bit bigger than most of the pleasure craft the littered area. It would be so easy to take out a whole swath of them. 

"Take us in slowly, Lieutenant," J'onn said. "We don't want to get into any scrapes out here. Vasquez, hail the orbital traffic command center and see where they want to put us." 

"Aye, aye, Captain," Vasquez replied. Once she was in contact, she routed the coordinates through to Kara's console and Kara carefully maneuvered them in the right direction. The ship slipped into orbit like it didn't take a tricky bit of flying to get there. 

Kara could see the area of space cleared out for the race, a larger swath without any ships in orbit there. It made it that much more real. The Excelsior wouldn't have the best view, but it would do.

***

"We should play a game or something," Maggie called over her shoulder. Alex was in the back of the runabout calibrating her equipment. Maggie had her feet up on one of the consoles as she rocked back in her chair, a universal sign of boredom.

"What?" Alex called back. She poked her head back into the cockpit. 

Maggie twisted her body to see but didn't move her feet. "We should play a game," she repeated.

"Why?" Alex's voice held a fair bit of skepticism and her brow was furrowed. She moved all the way into the doorway.

"Well, it's going to be a few days before we get to the Cassian system. We've got to do something until then," Maggie replied. Was her request that hard to understand? Or did Alex just not take any time off. Her scanners or sensors or whatever couldn't be that interesting.

"I am doing something. You could always come help me make sure all of my equipment is set up correctly," Alex said and shrugged. 

"Like you would ever let anyone touch your equipment. Winn told me about how you had him spend a day working on puzzles and theoretical engineering questions before you even let him touch it," Maggie laughed though. The idea of Alex putting Winn through his paces was inherently amusing. 

"I had to know how competent he was. I already know you're incompetent as an engineer. But I'll make an exception for you if it'll keep you from complaining about how bored you are," Alex said as she grinned back to take the sting out of her words. 

Maggie got up and strolled to the back hold of the runabout. "I'm incompetent, am I?"

"I'm sure you're a great security officer, but as an engineer, absolutely," Alex replied as she stepped back to let Maggie into the space. Maggie hadn't thought about how tight it was going to be with the two of them and all of Alex's equipment. "Still there are a few things you can help me with."

Maggie leaned against the door jam and crossed her arms. "Are you sure? You don't have to humor me, you know."

"I know, but I need these isolinear chips," Alex grabbed a case and held it out, "put into that panel in a specific order. It isn't the most thrilling task, but it's something to do with your hands, and it means I have time to work on something else." Alex already looked like she was focusing on some other task. 

"Yeah, Danvers," Maggie said as she pushed off of the bulkhead and took the box, "I can do that." She took the box from Alex's hand, grinning as their fingers brushed together. She saw, rather than heard, Alex's sharp intake of breath. Now that might make this trip more interesting. Annoyance and lust weren't that far apart, were they?

"Here." Jolting her from her thoughts, Alex grabbed a PADD and passed it to Maggie. "The sequence is on there."

"Right," Maggie said as she looked over the PADD and then opened up the case. The chips were already organized. She just had to double check that they were in the right order and put them into the right slots. It was so simple a child could do it, but she guessed it was her or Danvers and she didn't have anything else to do. Alex moved over to a torpedo tube and pulled part of the casing off. 

"So, what does all of this stuff do?" Maggie asked as she looked around at the thin towers and squat disks that filled the cargo hold.

"Do you actually want to know or are you just making small talk?" Alex looked up at Maggie and smiled. 

"Why not both?" Maggie shrugged. She might as well try to learn something while she was stuck flying through the middle of nowhere.

Alex shrugged. "Okay. Most of it is just various kinds of scanners or sensors. This is a probe that we'll need to load into one of the torpedo tubes once we get there." Alex motioned to the long black case in front of her. Alex had a hyperspanner in the guts of the probe and was doing something Maggie couldn't see. "But it all happens to be very sensitive and it has to be recalibrated every time it's moved like an old piano needs to be tuned."

Maggie nodded at the analogy. "Is that something else you can do? Play the piano?"

Alex chuckled, "That is not one of my skills, no. I took a couple of lessons as a kid, but I was an abysmal failure."

"You, a failure at something? I'll believe that when I see it," Maggie said as she shook her head. It was a tiny thing, but she was starting to think that Alex excelled at everything she tried. It was a little daunting. 

"It's true," Alex replied. "I couldn't get my hands to do separate things and I got frustrated. I threw a temper tantrum and that was it. I was done." 

"Huh," Maggie said. After that, they worked in silence for a few minutes until Alex spoke up again.

"So we've covered that I like to beat up holo-dummies for fun. What does the esteemable Maggie Sawyer do to blow off steam?" Alex looked up from her work and met Maggie's gaze. Her eyes were twinkling, and Maggie found herself caught. 

"On, you know, the usual things. Books, music. I play a mean game of dom-jot," Maggie said. She placed yet another of the isolinear chips into its slot. It really was a tedious task and her fingertips were starting to complain. 

"No way. I love dom-jot," Alex responded. She lit up and her smile reached her eyes. 

"Well then, you owe me a game when we get back to the ship. The holo opponents just aren't the same," Maggie lamented. It was true even though it wasn't supposed to be. Yet they were never quite as clever as a good human opponent could be. Plus, their banter sucked. 

"Owe you?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, Danvers. I could be on Allysia right now drinking fruity drinks on a beach if I wasn't out here with you. The least you could do is play a round or two with me." Maggie finally finished placing the last of the chips. She walked closer to Alex to see inside of the probe. She started tracing the circuitry in her mind. Just because Alex thought she couldn't engineer her way out of a paper bag didn't mean Alex was right. She was, in fact, perfectly competent. 

"Okay, but only if those fruity drinks are involved." Alex looked up from her task and smiled at Maggie. That smile could kill when viewed from up close. Maggie wanted to make Alex smile like that again. 

"I think I can arrange that," Maggie said. Then she started pretending to whisper, " I have an in with the bartender in the lounge. He can get us some real alcohol." She smirked back at Alex. 

"Gasp." Alex looked at Maggie in mock outrage. "How scandalous. The chief of security buying contraband."

Maggie shrugged. "It's only sorta contraband. You have to have some vices," she replied. "What about you? What are your vices?" she said as she gave Alex a long look up and down. She knew what she hoped some of Alex's vices were, hoped they were the same as hers. 

"Uh," Alex's mouth went dry and her cheeks turned slightly pink. "Well, good whiskey. The real stuff from Earth. And, uh, you know, I really need to focus on this," Alex said as she pointed down at the torpedo casing. She started to turn her wrist before she yelped out an, "Ow!" 

"Damn it," Alex said as she pulled her hand out of the probe and took a closer look at the damage. 

"Are you okay?" Maggie asked as she quickly got to Alex's side and took Alex's hand in her own to inspect it. There was blood welling on her palm. "Here, let me get the medkit."

"You really don't need to do that," Alex protested. 

"It's no problem. That cut looks a little deep. No reason not to go over it with the dermal regenerator." It was a simple thing that would only take a minute. She was pleased when Alex immediately acquiesced. Maggie came back the equipment and took Alex's hand in hers again. Her skin felt warm, but there were calluses over her knuckles. Maggie started healing Alex's wound. 

"I, uh, I guess I need to be more careful and look at what I'm doing." Alex blushed as Maggie continued to hold her hand. Maggie brushed her fingers across the back of Alex's wrist. She couldn't help herself. Alex swallowed hard. 

"Am I that distracting?" Maggie smirked. She liked that she had an effect on Alex. Not that she wanted Alex to hurt herself, but still, it was flattering. 

"No, pffft, why would you be-- I was just still focused on our conversation." 

"Sure, Danvers," Maggie called Alex's bluff as she finished running the dermal regenerator over Alex's hand. She didn't have a reason to keep holding it, so she let it go and stepped away. 

"I should get back to…" Alex looked down at the probe still blushing. "How are those isolinear chips coming?"

***

J'onn sat at the desk in his ready room and tapped one hand on the surface. He had some jazz playing in the background as he worked. With Lucy still incapacitated and Alex away, he was having to put the crew's shore leave schedule together himself. It was a nightmare deciding how to balance just when everyone got to go down to the planet. There was a delicate balance between the times people had requested and the staffing levels needed to ensure the ship continued to run at all times. It was frustrating, to say the least.

At that moment, he really missed his first officer. Alex would be terrible at this crap, but Lucy would have it done in an hour. He was going to miss her when she was inevitably promoted to captain and given her own command. That was years away though. He hoped he could hang on to Alex even longer. Her talents were being wasted in her lab. She could do her work just as well aboard the Excelsior and she was too brilliant a tactician not to put that mind to work. He wanted her to be his tactical officer and not getting what he wanted made J'onn very grumpy.

***

Kara stepped into the foyer of the biggest house she had ever been in. It was open to the mild tropical warmth of that part of the planet, giant arches stretching up to the vaulted ceiling providing entryways to other parts of the house on every wall. Despite the tiled floor, it seemed like there was a garden growing all along the edges of the walls. Kara heard the telltale click of heels echo throughout the space, but rather than some butler or someone coming to kick her out, it was Lena, there to welcome her in.

A bright smile broke over Lena's face as Kara came into view. "You found it," she said and her voice echoed just like her shoes had. 

"It's a little hard to miss, don't you think?" Kara replied. She spun around in a circle to take in the view. 

"Come inside, won't you?" Lena asked as she reached for Kara's hand. "I know you'll have to go back to the ship at some point, but I've put aside a room for you for as long as you can stay." Lena tugged on Kara's hand and pulled her down one of the corridors. 

"That's really… that's really too kind," Kara tried to object, but her objection was quickly waved away. 

"Nonsense." Lena stopped in front of a set of huge, impressive doors. They looked like they'd be heavy, but they opened with the slightest touch. "Here we are." Lena guided Kara into the room. There was some sort of sitting room, and Kara could see a bed through another large arch off to her right. The entire room was decorated in light, ivory linen. 

Kara was speechless. It really was too bad that Alex was off on another mission and couldn't enjoy Lena's hospitality. Lena had invited Alex along when she had contacted Kara. 

"I'm serious, Lena, this is too much," Kara breathed out. She felt like a princess. Lena came up behind Kara and put her hands on Kara's shoulders.

"If you keep that up, I'm going to think you're politely telling me you don't like it and then I'll have to find another place to put you. Maybe somewhere with higher ceilings or a bigger bathtub?" 

"No! No, that isn't necessary. It's lovely, thank you." Kara pulled away and turned around to face Lena again.

"Excellent," Lena said. "I _should_ let you get settled, but I have another surprise for you first." Lena took Kara's bag and set it to the side before she grabbed Kara's hand again and set off down the hallway.

Eventually, the high ceilings lowered to a more normal height and the walls took on a more industrial feel. "This isn't where you lock me in your basement lab, is it?" Kara said lightly. 

"No, no basement lab. Just this." Lena pressed a button on what seemed like a random door. It slid open, and Lena led Kara through. There was a small, derelict spaceship sitting in the middle of a landing bay. 

"I don't… I don't understand."

"This was my grandfather's ship. He used it to race in the Grand Prix years and years ago." Lena grabbed a tablet from a table by the door. "It's still space worthy, even though it's so old. I thought you might want to use it to race in the Grand Prix. You'll have to fix it up, of course."

"The Grand Prix? What Grand Prix?" Kara asked. There was no way...

"The one at the end of this week," Lena said it so nonchalantly. As if she hadn't just handed Kara one of her dreams. "You talked about it so much on the Excelsior, I thought you might want to see how your piloting skills stack up."

"You didn't," Kara said breathlessly. "There's no way… It's too much." Kara's hands were clasped over her mouth in awe. 

"Kara, listen, I almost never throw my family's weight or money around, and when I do, I don't do it lightly. Let me do this for you," Lena pleaded. "Besides, you'll get that thing running for me again," she nodded toward the ship. "I can't stand the thought of it sitting there rusting, but I can't bear to get rid of it either. Think of it as a trade if you must. I get free labor and another working starship, and you get to race in the Grand Prix."

"Okay," Kara said. She just blinked at Lena.

"Okay?" Lena took Kara's hands again.

"Okay." Kara's response was much more firm. 

"Now, what do you need to get started?" Lena was ready to get down to business. 

"I need…," Kara took a moment to think, to go over everything in her mind. "I need an engineer."

With that, Lena pulled Kara into a hug.

***

Lucy groaned as she opened her eyes. She was getting tired of opening them to the stark ceiling that signaled she was still in sickbay. She was bored. She could only read so many books in a row before she wanted to pull her hair out, and Alex wasn't around to slip her any crew reports.

Lucy sighed as she sat up. She really wanted to get out of bed but Dr. Chanson had explicitly forbidden her from wandering around the sickbay alone. Apparently, she was at too much of a risk of falling over and re-injuring herself. 

"Ah, my favorite patient is awake," Dr. Chanson said as she put down a PADD and walked over to Lucy's biobed. 

"Right now, I'm your only patient," Lucy grumbled. Still, she liked talking with Dr. Chanson. 

"Well, how would you feel about getting out of that bed and walking around a bit." Dr. Chanson smiled a full smile at Lucy.

Lucy sighed happily. "If you let me out of this bed, I'll love you forever."

Dr. Chanson laughed. "Don't say things you don't mean, Commander." She helped Lucy down off of the bed and onto her feet. Lucy couldn't stop her wince, but at least the pain had gotten more manageable. She smiled as she took her first step in what felt like forever. 

"You know, I think by now you can call me Lucy," she offered. 

"Very well, but only if you call me Elizabeth."

***

"I'm not kidding, play a game with me," Maggie said, the slightest whine in her voice.

Alex was taking a break from calibrating her equipment to sit in the cockpit of the runabout and read a book on her PADD as she kept the occasional eye out for the autopilot. "You're not going to let this go, are you?" Alex replied. 

"Nope. C'mon. It'll be fun," Maggie grinned at Alex and there was just something about those dimples Alex couldn't resist. She smiled back.

"As long as it isn't three-dimensional chess." Alex put her PADD down on the console and turned toward Maggie. She was probably getting herself into more than she realized, but it was just a game and she was getting sick of sitting in the cockpit not really doing anything too.

"Excellent. Poker?" Maggie asked as she got up and headed toward the replicator. She was already inputting the commands. 

"Why do I have a feeling I'm about to get hustled?" Alex asked. She was still smiling though. While Maggie was getting the chips, cards, and some sort of snacks, Alex pulled a table into the center of the cockpit. 

Maggie smiled wolfishly. "I have no idea." She clapped her hands together and rubbing them. "So, what are we playing for?"

"Asks the card shark." Alex teased as she settled into her seat. 

"You don't even know how good I am. I was just being polite." Maggie tried to look innocent, but it didn't quite work. 

"Fine. Winner buys the fruity drinks?" Alex replied. She was terrible at poker. If she was going to lose, at least she wasn't going to lose anything big. It was just a friendly game after all, right?

"That's all you want? I thought you'd be more of a risk taker than that, Danvers." Maggie needled her. 

Alex couldn't help but rise to the bait. "Well, what do you want?" Oh, this was a bad idea. Maggie probably already had something in mind. 

Maggie took a measured look at Alex. "A question and a truthful answer. And the drinks."

Alex returned Maggie's look. Did she trust Maggie to ask something she could actually answer? "Done. Whoever busts first loses and the winner gets a question and free fruity drinks for a night."

"Done," Maggie said as she reached for Alex's hand and they shook on it.

***

"You are spectacularly bad a bluffing," Maggie said as she pulled a good number of Alex's chips over to her own pile. Maybe Alex wasn't spec ops if she was that bad a keeping such simple secrets.

"I've just had a run of bad luck. I'm going to start winning soon," Alex insisted. She had said something to the same effect almost every hand that she lost. 

"Is that going to be before or after you run out of chips?" Maggie looked down at the ever decreasing pile of chips in front of Alex. 

"Poker just isn't my game." Alex gave Maggie an offhanded shrug. That was an understatement. 

"Obviously." Maggie sat back and looked at Alex. "Why'd you agree to play?"

Alex shrugged again. "You wanted to. And after you put all of those isolinear chips into that panel, I thought I owed you." It was sweet, really, that Alex was willing to humiliate herself for Maggie's benefit. 

"I think you owe me more than a game of poker for that. My fingertips are still sore," Maggie joked.

"Want me to kiss them better?" Alex said it reflexively then blushed bright red as soon as the words came out. "Sorry, that was…"

"Don't worry about it," Maggie brushed it off. "I know what you meant." 

"Right, yeah." Alex looked down at her cards and the cards on the table and immediately folded. "You know what, I think you win," she said. 

"Sure thing, Danvers," Maggie started stacking her chips to put them away while Alex gathered up the cards. As soon as that was done Alex stood up.

"I'm just going to do take a shower or something. I'll, uh, I'll answer your question when I get back."

***

"C'mon Winn. Help me out here. It'll be fun." Kara pleaded. She was back on the ship and in main engineering. The warp core glowed in the center of the room, and Kara was following Winn as he walked around it.

"For you maybe. You get to fly in the thing, but for me, it's just another however many days of work. I'm supposed to be on shore leave, Kara, not 'take on another engineering problem' leave," Winn whined. 

"Oh, you don't mean that," Kara said. "You'll love the challenge. This thing hasn't flown in well over a decade. You can do what you want with it. You can show off!" She tried to put the most positive spin on it that she possibly could. Winn looked like he was wavering.

"We can paint some flames on the side…," Kara threw in.

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll do it." Winn held up his hands in surrender.


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh, you're going to owe me so much for this," Winn said as he pulled a panel down while Kara steadied it. Once it was on the floor, Winn let out a sigh of relief. 

"Oh, you're having fun and you know it."

"I think your definition of fun is very different from my definition," Winn said. He took a step back to look into the guts of the ship. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about a warp drive." The tangle of wires, chips, and circuits was another matter. 

"So, how bad is it?" Kara was preemptively wincing. Please, please, please let it be fixable within the week.

"I'd like to have more time to work on it before you have to race it, but I think I can do it. As long as you don't care about being particularly comfortable," Winn said. Kara bounced up and down and clapped. 

"I knew if anyone could do it, it would be you." She threw her arms around Winn and gave him a big hug. 

"Don't start celebrating yet. We have to get it off of the ground first." With that, Winn opened his toolbox and got to work.

***

"So, why astrophysics?" Maggie asked. "You've got your name on half a dozen bio-engineering patents. Did you get bored or something?" They were sitting in the cockpit again, Maggie's feet back up on the console and Alex leaning back in her chair.

"That's your question?" Alex asked skeptically.

"Yeah," Maggie shrugged. "You going to answer this one or is it another secret?" Maggie really did want to know more about Alex and she wasn't getting anywhere with the special operations line of questioning. 

Alex sighed. "It isn't that complicated. My dad was an astrophysicist--"

"And you wanted to be like him when you grew up?" Maggie knew what that was like, even if her father wouldn't ever be proud of her. 

"No. Well, sorta. Both of my parents are scientists, so I didn't _just_ want to be like my dad." Alex sighed. "He was the one in Starfleet though." Alex looked away. "He was an astrophysicist, but the ship he was assigned to was involved in the battle of Wolf 359."

"Oh, man, I'm sorry," Maggie said with sympathy in her eyes. 11,000 people had died at the hands of the Borg that day. It was the worst defeat that Starfleet had suffered until the most recent war with the Dominion. If Alex's father...

"It… it wasn't like that." Alex interrupted her thoughts. "Captain J'onzz, J'onn, he saved my dad's life. But after that Starfleet just didn't have the same appeal, you know? So he retired and he and mom moved us to this little planet that was primarily a science station, and it was great, really idyllic. Green rolling hills. House right on the ocean. The whole thing. And he focused on his research. And then Kara came along and they… we… adopted her, which was hard, but not bad really. 

"Anyway, the Giorgetti Lights were my dad's pet project. He thought they were fascinating. So the last time they appeared, he got in a shuttle and headed out to see them." Alex swallowed against the tight feeling in her throat. 

"He was… well, as far as we know, his shuttle got attacked. There was no way to know who did it. He died somewhere out here. Maybe I did follow him into Starfleet. Mom certainly thinks so. She doesn't love the fact that her daughters are out risking their lives, but..." Alex shrugged. "Anyway, Some stuff happened and I needed a change of scenery and picking up my dad's research seemed like a good project."

Maggie looked out the viewscreen. "This is definitely a change in scenery from a bio-engineering lab," she said. She hadn't expected Alex's story to go the way it had. She almost regretted asking. "Though looking at warp trails seems like it would be pretty similar to serving aboard a starship."

"No," Alex said as she followed Maggie's gaze outward. "Doing this… I can do what I want. No orders to follow or give. Just the occasional report to Starfleet about what I'm doing where they don't lose track of me, but that's it. Me and my research." 

"So what are you going to do once we're done out here?" Maggie asked curiously. 

"There's going to be plenty of data to interpret," Alex said as she shrugged. 

"Right. Well, to each their own," Maggie said.

***

"So, how's the project going?" Lena asked as she walked into the docking bay. She looked like she had just come from a very important meeting. Kara, meanwhile, looked down at her coveralls, streaked with some indeterminate fluid, and grimaced.

"Well, it's going." Kara grabbed a rag to wipe her hands then tossed it back toward the ship. 

"The manifold had to be completely rebuilt and one of the circuits keeps shorting out and Winn can't figure out why, but Winn thinks that with a few more sleepless nights we'll have it finished before the race," Kara rambled. It was probably more of an answer than Lena wanted. 

"Just how long has it been since you got any sleep?" Lena stepped closer to Kara, concern written on her face. 

"I think I got a couple of hours earlier today?" Kara shrugged. "It's going to be worth it though when I'm up there." Her eyes went skyward even though there was nothing to see beyond the ceiling of the docking bay. Lena smiled in amusement. 

"You know, I gave you that room hoping you'd use it," Lena chuckled. She reached out and brushed some of Kara's hair back from her face. It was quickly becoming one of Kara's favorite things and she leaned into it. 

"I will, I promise. Just probably not until after the race." Kara shrugged in apology as she wrung her hands together. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the room, she just liked the ship so much more. 

"Well, in that case, I think I'd better leave you to it," Lena said before she took a step backward then turned to leave.

***

"So, you heard my story. Why'd you enlist?" Alex spun from side to side in her chair. Maggie had replicated some synthohol and it was making Alex's normally tense muscles slack. It wasn't exactly responsible for them to be drinking it while they were technically on duty, but it wouldn't be the first time. t wasn't like she couldn't shake off her buzz with a thought. That ability to be suddenly sober was why synthohol existed. It was also why synthohol was one of mankind's worst inventions. The floaty, drunk feeling Alex wanted always felt fake because it was.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Maggie responded, trying to fight off a grin. She took a sip directly from the bottle before she passed it back to Alex.

"You've got to have a better story than that, Petty Officer Sawyer," Alex smirked at Maggie. She could read a file too, and Maggie probably took more pride in her enlisted rank than being a lieutenant. 

Maggie rolled her eyes. "So that's how it's going to be, huh, _ma'am_ " 

Alex laughed. "It's however you want it to be, Lieutenant." 

"Fuck you," Maggie shot back in good spirits. "You really wanna know?" she asked. 

"Yeah, I really wanna know."

*

_Fifteen years ago_

 _"You're no longer welcome here," Maggie's father spat at her._ She didn't understand where so much anger came from. She knew why it was directed at her though. Eliza. Why had she told? Maggie sighed. Of course, Eliza told. There weren't supposed to be any secrets on Dortha. There was only supposed to be hard work, and church, and God. Maggie had never fit in on the planet. She was always a little too wild, a little too distracted during their lessons in school. She asked too many questions. 

And now she was an outcast. She had to leave the planet as soon as humanly possible. No one would question her father's decision. No one would care that she was only 14 and now she had nowhere in the whole universe to call home. 

Her aunt would be there soon. Her aunt was a freighter captain and she would be there to pick Maggie up by the end of the day. It was lucky she was so close when her father had called, otherwise she would have been put on a shuttle to the nearest space station and her aunt would have had to pick her up there. The idea was terrifying, but she could do it if she needed to. She was strong and she could adapt Luckily she didn't need to.

*

_"Here's your bunk," Maggie's aunt said as she pressed a button to open the door to the room._ It was small, the bed was built into the bulkhead with empty compartments for her things above it. The rest of the room was taken up by a desk and a chair. Maggie tossed her bag on the bed.

"Thank you. It's great," Maggie said, trying to sound cheerful, but it just rang hollow.

Maggie's aunt laughed. "It isn't, but it's all we have. My bunk's almost as small, and I'm the captain." 

Her aunt pulled out the chair and motioned for Maggie to take a seat on the bed. There was just enough room where she wouldn't hit her head. "There are a couple of things we need to talk about. One, I expect you to keep up with your studies. We'll find something less dogmatic than what they were having you do on Dortha, but I won't have you growing up ignorant. Two, don't touch anything unless you know what it does. Not just think you know. _Know._ I won't have you blowing up my ship because you were curious. Three, remember where your escape pod is. It's really important that you don't get lost if something happens. In fact, my first order to you as captain is for you to practice getting there from everywhere on this ship, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Maggie replied. Her aunt's face looked serious and Maggie didn't want to know what would happen if she disobeyed an order. 

"Finally, and most important, I want you to know that you always have a place with me." Maggie's aunt reached forward and took Maggie's hands in her own. She squeezed them hard. "Always."

*

_twelve years ago_

 _"You know Maggie, you really need to start thinking about what you're going to do with your life," Maggie's aunt pestered her._ "You don't want to spend it stuck on a freighter forever." It was just days after Maggie's 18th birthday and her aunt had been dropping hints for the last six months. Maggie guessed it was past time for the hints to turn into actual prodding.

"Here," her aunt said as she tossed a tablet down on Maggie's bed. "I've put together a list of universities I think you would like."

"Thanks," Maggie said as she pretended to look over the list. She waited for her aunt to leave the room before she tossed the table to the foot of her bed. Going to university sounded boring. It might have been her dream once, but after spending three years on her aunt's freighter making runs between Deep Space Nine and many of the nearby systems, she knew university wasn't for her. At least not right now. She needed more excitement than that. 

Her plan was different. Her aunt wasn't going to like it, but when it came down to it, her aunt didn't have a choice. She would either accept Maggie's decision, or she wouldn't.

Maggie had already survived her parents' disappointment. She could survive her aunt's too if it came to that. She really hoped that it didn't.

Maggie's aunt had been a freighter captain for as long as Maggie could remember. It had seemed so glamorous when she was younger. Now, after having lived it, she knew that it was most a lot of hard work interspersed with moments of pure terror when everyone thought that they were about to die. And boredom. She spent a lot of her time just sitting in the mess, talking to the rest of the crew until there wasn't anything else to talk about. Then she would sit in her quarters and work on her homework. Then she would repeat the process again. 

Her aunt had made her an official part of the crew the year before and it had been the proudest moment of her life. She'd spent two years learning all of the systems, working hard and efficiently, before her aunt had even considered it. Bu just after her 17th birthday, her name got changed on the manifest from passenger to crew. She knew she couldn't do it forever though. It wasn't her calling. Not like her aunt. She wasn't exactly sure what her calling was, but she knew a place to find out.

She was going to enlist.

*

_eleven years, six months ago_

Maggie thought she was ready, but she wasn't. The yelling had started the moment she stepped off of the shuttle, and now, a week later, it hadn't stopped. She was going to die. Maggie was positive she was going to die. Every muscle in her body hurt, it was a million degrees outside, and they wanted her to do how many more pushups? Maggie almost collapsed onto the ground, but somehow her arms kept working. These grueling workouts weren't exactly what she had had in mind when she joined Starfleet, and they were terrible. They might be necessary, but they were terrible. She'd never needed to do push-ups to work on her aunt's crew and they had been just fine. 

Finally, the pushups stopped and they were all sent off for quick sonic showers. Then they'd be stuck in a classroom all afternoon. A hot classroom. It was almost as bad as the physical training. Maggie kept her complaints inside though. If one of the drill instructors found out what she was thinking, she'd have to do even more push-ups. She hoped none of them were telepathic.

*

_four years ago_

 _"Sawyer, I need to to take those men and get them to the evac point." Commander Christopher yelled at Maggie as a barrage of artillery went off around them._ Everyone ducked. 

"Sir, there's a hole in the Jem'hadar line!" Maggie pointed to where she was talking about. "If we go through it, we can get behind them."

Commander Christopher gave Maggie a long, hard look. "Fine," he said. He needed to move on to check on his other troops. "Your idea, you get to lead them," he nodded his head toward the other enlisted personnel. "Congratulations, Sawyer, you're an ensign now," Commander Christopher pulled a pip off of his own uniform and handed it to Maggie. Another barrage of artillery went off around them. She stared at the pip for two seconds before she pulled off her current insignia and replaced it. She had spent her life adapting. She would adapt to this too.

***

Lucy groaned as she opened her eyes. She was getting tired of opening them to the stark ceiling that signaled she was _still_ in sickbay. It had been well over a week. Dr. Chanson was finally letting her walk around on her own, which Lucy thought was a perfectly good sign that she was ready to go back to her quarters.

"Tell me you're here to spring me," Lucy said as Elizabeth came into view. She pleaded with her eyes even though she knew it made her look pathetic. 

"I am, actually," Elizabeth replied as she smiled. Lucy nearly jumped for joy, but she stopped herself. That much movement would probably just get her re-confined to the sickbay before she had even left. 

"Thank you," Lucy let the letters draw out. Elizabeth's smile turned mischievous thought and Lucy knew something was up. "Wait, what's the catch?" she asked. 

"Just a little monitoring device," Elizabeth said as she pulled the small, thin disc out of a pocket. 

Lucy groaned. "It that _really_ necessary? Can't I just promise to come in every day for a check-up?"

"Oh, you'll need to do that too." Elizabeth placed the disc behind one of Lucy's ears and made sure it adhered. 

"For how long?" Lucy asked. As much as she liked Elizabeth's company, she didn't need to see her every day.

"A few days, then we'll reevaluate. The better behaved you are, the faster you'll heal, and the soon you get to stop seeing my smiling face every day." Elizabeth picked up a tricorder and gave Lucy one last scan. "Just remember, you do not get to do anything more strenuous than reading a crew report. I'm only allowing that much work because I know you'll do it anyway. If I find out you've been on the bridge, if I find out you've even been near the bridge, I'll have to confined to quarters. Do you understand?"

"Aye, aye Doctor," Lucy said as she slipped from the biobed and onto her feet."I'll be good," Lucy said it with a twinkle in her eye. 

"Okay then, you're free to go," Elizabeth said as she finished her last scan on Lucy. She stepped away from the biobed to allow Lucy to pass.

***

Vasquez smiled as she wandered down the city street. She was in the middle of a bazaar that seemed to have come out of nowhere. There was a little bit of everything on display, but nothing yet that caught her attention. The desert air felt good on her skin. She had always been attracted to deserts. Everyone else on the ship might think she was crazy for coming to this particular city, but she had already fallen in love with it.

She walked a few more blocks before she found a cafe that looked appealing. She walked in and went up to the counter to order. She ended up sitting there after her drink was placed in front of her. She wasn't sure what it was, but it tasted citrusy and bitter and she loved that too. As soon as she finished her first, a second was placed in front of her. The man behind the bar merely pointed at a person sitting at a table for two in the corner. Vasquez raised her eyebrow, but she got up and sauntered over to join them.

***

Winn tried to shove the last panel into place on the outside of the ship and when that didn't work, he braced his foot against it and pushed as hard as he could. It finally clicked into place. "Well, that's the last of them," He said to Kara. They had made excellent time so far, but he knew once they got the ship into space, they'd find more problems. That was how it always worked. At this point, though, he was confident it _would_ get into space and there wouldn't be any atmospheric leaks. Still, they were going up in EVA suits the first time.

"Does that mean what I think it does?" Kara asked. She was standing back admiring her ship. Well, Lena's ship really, but her ship until the race was over. Winn hadn't painted flames on the side. In fact, there was no paint on the thing at all. They just hadn't had time. 

"It does, indeed," Winn said as he opened the canopy door. It slid smoothly upward. "Milady," he bowed slightly at the waist and held a hand out to ladder up to the cockpit. 

"Eeee!" Kara squealed and ran toward Winn, throwing herself at him and hugging him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." She knew he had sacrificed his vacation and a lot of sleep to help her. "I owe you so much." Kara finally let go of him and stepped into the cockpit. 

She looked around in awe. Sure, she had been helping Winn the entire time, but this was different. This was real. 

Winn came up behind her with her EVA suit in his hand. "Here, put this on and let's fire this baby up!" Winn finally sounded as enthusiastic as Kara felt. 

Kara quickly slipped her suit on, secured the helmet, and ran a systems check before taking her seat at the front of the ship and an engineer's just behind. If the upper door hasn't been so clear, it would have been claustrophobic. The ship was long and pointed in the front, with four sets of engines behind clustered directly behind the ship's body. With thier EVA suits, it was going to be an extremely tight fit. Kara didn't care. She hopped into the pilot's seat and waited for Winn to join her in the back. 

He took a deep, nervous breath as he strapped in. "Just remember, nothing fancy this time. We just need to make sure it works. You'll have time for a test run of the course later."

"Right." Kara hit the button to close the canopy and fired up the engines. The ship lifted up from the ground, shuddering as it did so. She sent a signal to the docking bay computers to open the door and she slowly urged the ship forward. A quick call into orbital command and they were off. 

Kara still had to be careful though. There were so many ships in the area and even though she was so much smaller than the Excelsior, she was still worried about running into someone. 

"So, I've got a couple of names for you for your race engineer," Winn said through the com system. 

Kara frowned. "I've already got an engineer," she responded. 

"You do? That's great," Winn let out a sigh of relief. "Who'd you ask?"

"You, silly," Kara rolled her eyes. 

"No. No, no, no. No way I am getting in this thing with you while you fly it a quadrillion kilometers hour around this solar system. Not doing it." Winn squirmed in his seat. 

"You're being ridiculous. Of course, you're coming with me. You're the only one who knows the ship," Kara said.

"Kara…," Winn whined. 

"Nope. End of discussion," Kara said as she nodded her head decisively. 

Winn groaned in acquiescence. "Fine, fine, I'll do it, but if I die, I'm going to kill you." He took a moment before he continued. "So, what are you going to name her?" Winn asked.

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," Kara replied. "Maybe Lena's Gift, since that's what it is?"

"Man, you've got it bad for her," Winn said. 

"What? No I don't," Kara tried to deny it, but the squeak in her voice didn't make it very convincing. 

"Yeah, you do." Winn was cycling through a systems check. "I saw the way you looked at her every time she came by to check on us. You'd get all starry-eyed and," Winn searched for the right word, "fluttery."

"I did not," Kara could feel her cheeks heating up. Was it that obvious? Did Lena know? Did Lena mind? It had seemed like Lena had been flirting with her, but she was so bad about figuring those sorts of things out. Lena _had_ given her a room in her house. Of course, she'd offered Winn one as soon as Kara told her that Winn would be helping her out. 

"Whoa there," Winn said and pulled Kara away from her thoughts just soon enough to correct their course and avoid a collision. 

"Thanks," Kara said. She was still slightly distracted though. Did Lena like her back?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it got lost in the shuffle, make sure you've read chapter 7.

"What did I get myself into?" Kara asked Winn. She was standing next to her ship, now officially _Lena's Gift_ , in the hangar where all of the competitors' ships were docked. The grandstands were only a few kilometers away. Only maintenance crews were there now, but they would be completely full by the time the race started the next day. 

After several test flights and a supervised loop around part of the racecourse, Winn had signed off on the ship. All that was left was for the race inspectors to do the same. 

"Hey, don't look at me. I've been saying that for days," Winn said. Kara looked at him in betrayal. He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "No, seriously, Kara, you're going to be great. I watched some of the training runs. You can outfly these guys in your sleep." 

"You're sure?" Kara asked as she gave Winn an imploring look. 

He squeezed her shoulders. "I promise, now stop worrying about it. I'm going to do a little tune-up before the officials get here, but you should go get some rest. You need to be on your game tomorrow which means sleeping now, okay?"

Kara still looked uncertain, but she nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" Winn double checked.

Kara nodded again more confidently. "Okay."

***

Kara flopped down onto the chaise longue in Lena's living room.

"That bad, huh?" Lena asked her. Kara hadn't even noticed her sitting there, curled up on a couch with a book in her hands, an actual paper book. 

"No," Kara replied. "I just… what if I'm not good enough for this? Like really not good enough?"

"I wouldn't have entered you into the race if I didn't think you could win it," Lena said as she shook her head and met Kara's eyes, her own full of confidence that Kara's lacked.

"You hadn't even seen me fly like this," Kara replied. Lena had come out to view some of their test runs now, but she hadn't seen those before she entered Kara.

"Let's just say I have a nose for potential," Lena said. Lena got up and walked to the chaise lounge, shooing Kara's legs off and sitting down beside her. It didn't matter that there was barely enough room for two people. Kara found it comforting. She curled slightly into Lena's side as Lena put an arm around her shoulders. "You're going to be great tomorrow. Even if you don't win, you won't embarrass yourself or me. And you know what?"

"What?" Kara asked tentatively.

"I'm still going to like you either way." Lena squeezed Kara's shoulders. Kara's nervous tension deflated some at the reassurance. 

"Thanks," she said. She wrapped her arm around Lena's waist and squeezed her back. 

"I should let you rest," Lena said.

"No, please don't. I'm not going to be able to sleep. And I don't need that much sleep here because of the sun." Kara was still feeling restless. Even if she laid down, she would just end up staring at the canopy above the bed. 

"I've been meaning to ask you how that works," Lena said. She dropped her arm and moved slightly further away. Kara mourned the loss. 

"No one is really sure. They've done all sorts of tests on Kryptonians, but it isn't anything obvious. Eliza, uh, my adoptive mother, is an expert in Kryptonian physiology, but even she doesn't have a clue." Kara shrugged. She was curious but never enough to really study the phenomenon. 

"May I ask how you survived the destruction? Or is it too personal?" Kara shifted uncomfortably, but maybe talking about it would help her think of something besides the race. She'd answered the question before. It was almost routine now.

"It isn't an interesting story, really," She started. " I was off-world visiting my aunt when the planet exploded. She was an admiral in Starfleet at the time. She's, uh, she's retired now. But my parents were there, on Krypton." Kara started to tear up. Maybe it wasn't so routine after all, or maybe it was who she was telling it to. She leaned her head on Lena's shoulder and the arm that had been wrapped around her returned. 

"Aunt Astra, she couldn't… she was doing something really dangerous. I don't really know what. She said she couldn't tell me. But it meant I couldn't stay with her. The Danvers were really good friends with my parents through Eliza's research, and the science colony they were living on was a perfect place for children, really." Kara shrugged. "They took me in when Astra couldn't." Kara let out a shaky breath. 

"Oh Kara, I'm so sorry," Lena pulled Kara into a full hug. Kara hugged her back. 

"It's fine, really." She wiped her eyes and snuggled closer into Lena. 

"Still, I didn't mean to bring up something so painful right before the race." Lena leaned her cheek against the top of Kara's head. Kara finally wrapped her arms around the other woman. It felt so good. She wished she could stay there. 

"Can we… can we talk about something else?" Kara asked. 

"Of course," Lena replied. She kissed the top of Kara's head then let her go.

***

Alex looked down at the console in front of her. It was beeping their arrival in the Cassian system. She tapped the panel to smoothly bring them out of warp, the stars focusing back down to points of light. "And we're here," she said.

As soon as she said it, the ship rocked hard to port. "What was that?" asked Maggie, concern in her voice.

"Probably nothing," but Alex was checking her console anyway. The deflector looked fine, the impulse engines looked fine. Everything looked fine. There was no reason for the ship to have shuddered like that. It was several minutes later when she saw the problem. Something was causing the warp core to overheat. Still, that shouldn't have rocked the ship.

"I take that back. We've got a much bigger problem. The coolant is leaking from the warp core." Alex looked up at Maggie. Their eyes met and they were suddenly in sync. 

"What?!" Maggie asked. "How did that happen?" Panic edged her voice, but she was doing a good job keeping it at bay. A warp core breach was the most serious mechanical problem that could happen on any space-faring ship. If the core breached, the ship would explode into pieces too small for anyone or anything to identify. They would be nothing more than background radiation.

"I have no idea," Alex responded. There was no logical explanation for it, but right now they didn't need an explanation. They needed to fix the problem. 

"Shit," Maggie said. Alex couldn't help but agree. 

Her fingers were already flying over her console. "We can figure out why later. Right not, we need to fix it." The coolant leak was weird. Normally a lot of other things had to go wrong before it would come to that. But everything else about the runabout was fine. "It looks like the sealing caps have started to come unsealed. Someone needed to go back there and engage the secondary systems."

"I'll go," Maggie volunteered. Alex was torn. 

"No, I should…" she replied.

"You stay here and deal with this. _I'll go._ " Maggie insisted. The ship rocked again. An alarm started to go off. 

"Warning, warp core breach imminent," the computer announced.

"Shit. Fuck. Fine." Alex turned back to the console, her fingers nearly a blur on the panel. She really, really didn't want to have to need to eject the warp core. Then they'd be stuck in the system until the Excelsior showed up to rescue them, which would probably be at least two weeks from then. There weren't any habitable planets in the system. She liked Maggie, but she didn't know if she liked her enough to spend almost a month with her alone.

***

Kara bounced on her toes and shook out her hands. It was only a few hours before the race and all of the pilots and engineers were finally in the same place at the same time. Kara looked around at her competition. She had read their names on the race report, but now it seemed real. There were the best pilots in the quadrant. Could she really beat them? Everyone else who knew her thought so.

She wished Alex was there to give her one last pep talk. Kara knew what she would say. "You've got this. Now, go kick their asses." Even if it was just in her head, Alex's pep talk made her feel like she could win. Then she noticed who was at the ship next to her. In any other circumstance, she would have been Kara's favorite pilot. The woman saw her looking and walked over.

"Sam Arias," she said in introduction. Kara definitely recognized the name. She was the Grand Prix's reigning champion. Her engineer just went by the name 'Purity.' Kara tried not to be intimidated. It only sort of worked. "I guess you're Lena's _friend_. Good luck out there. You're going to need it."

"Thanks," Kara couldn't help but call out. "Good luck to you too."

***

Maggie rushed to the engine room and skidded to a stop before she could slam into the warp core. There was leaking coolant billowing like steam throughout the room and flowing into the rest of the ship. She only had a few minutes to manually engage the secondary systems or Alex would have to eject the core.

"Warning. Warp core breach imminent." the computer said as klaxons started to go off. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know that," Maggie muttered as she crouched down, pulled the panel off, and started bypassing the main circuit for the secondary one. The panel sparked at her and she had to pull her hand back. "Damn it," She swore under her breath.

"How's it coming back there?" Alex shouted.

"I'm handling it." She needed to find something to ground the circuit while she worked on. She turned and scanned the room. There! An isoliner buffer. She got up and ran across the room then she ripped the buffer off of the wall. She ran back to the panel.

She was just putting the buffer in place before she heard Alex yell, "You've got to get out of there!" 

"I've almost got it," Maggie yelled back. She did. She just needed one more minute. 

"Come on. I'm ejecting the core and I'm not ejecting you with it."

"Warning. Warp core breach imminent," the computer said again. 

"I said one second." Maggie closed the circuit. The warning klaxons turned off. 

Maggie deflated in relief. Then Alex was in the doorway. Alex was standing next to her. Alex was pulling her up into a hug. Alex was kissing her. Maggie was kissing her back. Alex let Maggie go after a second. Her cheek turned red as she stepped away. "Sorry, that was…"

Maggie waved her off. "It's… We almost died. I get it," Maggie said. Alex didn't know what had come over her. She'd just kissed Maggie. Out of nowhere. Maggie who still hadn't let go of her theory about Alex being spec ops. She hadn't mentioned it lately, but Alex knew it was still on her mind. But she'd kissed Maggie anyway. She couldn't do that again. 

"Right, yeah," Alex replied. She looked down at the circuit board expecting to see some sloppy work. It wasn't. She would never have thought to use an isolinear buffer that way. "That's, uh, that's a fancy bit of engineering there." 

"You aren't the only one with secrets, Danvers," Maggie smirked. Alex really, really liked that smirk. 

Alex swallowed hard then squeaked out an, "Oh really?" 

"Learn all sorts of things growing up on a freighter." Maggie put emphasis on the 'all things' making it clear she wasn't just talking about engineering.

"Ah," Alex escaped back to the cockpit and threw herself into one of the chairs.

***

It was minutes before Kara and Winn were supposed to climb into the cockpit of their ship when Lena walked up. "Lena," Kara said, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, everyone else is conferring with their coaches. I thought I'd see you off." Lena smirked and Kara didn't know what to do with herself. That smirk might be her favorite of Lena's expressions.

"That's, uhm, you didn't have to do that," Kara stammered. Even now, after almost a days and days together, Lena still made Kara stumble over her words. 

"Of course I did. Also, I came to give you this. For luck." Lena held out a small square of fabric. "It was part of the suit my grandfather wore when he won, and we have a tradition here on Alyssia that says taking something from a successful campaign into battle with you brings good luck. I know this isn't exactly a battle, but…"

Kara covered Lena's hands with her own, took the piece of fabric, and put it in her pocket. "It's perfect. Thank you."

Just then, the two-minute warning sounded over the loudspeaker. The various coaches all started to head toward the exit. 

"Also," Kara had never seen Lena look so uncertain "I wanted to give you this." Lena leaned in and kissed Kara. It was brief, but it was still long enough for Kara to kiss Lena back. Then Lena was gone.

"Yeah," said Winn, "You've got it bad." 

Kara turned bright pink and she ducked her head and went to her ship.

***

Lucy stared out of the windows of the lounge along with a significant portion of the Excelsior's crew. Everyone knew that Kara was going to be racing in the Grand Prix and almost everyone wanted to watch. Lucy had no idea who was manning the actual stations. If someone wanted to attack the Excelsior, this would be a perfect time. Lucy looked at the giant holoprojector set up in the middle of the lounge where they could see the race in detail when they couldn't see the faint dots of the ships themselves.

Three-quarters of the audience had some sort of race memorabilia in red and blue, Kara's official colors, somewhere on their person. The sportsbooks on the planet had given Kara the longest odds to win of any of the competitors, and Lucy had placed a strip of latinum on Kara. She smirked. She had a feeling it was going to be the best bet she had ever made.

***

Beep. Beep. Beep. The sound was playing over the ships coms and as soon as Kara heard the final beep, she pressed hard on the throttle. The G-forces shoved her back in her seat and she pushed against them. She wasn't going to pass out before the race even really started. The trip from the ground into space took seconds and then all she could see were the race buoys projected on her screen.

The first part of the race was about precision. Could she fly between each of the gates quickly without missing one? The space between the uprights barely fit one ship and she skimmed the first one. She made it through though. If she missed any of them, she'd be racing for second or third. There was no way she would win if she got a time penalty. To port, then starboard. Up and then up again. Starboard. Down. She cut some of the gates close, but she made them all. 

She allowed herself a quick sigh of relief before she focused on the second leg of the race.

She had to navigate the fastest route between two points with nothing but the most basic of star charts to guide her. Kara looked down at her map that had popped up when she crossed the final gate. It was the first time any of the competitors would see the destination point. She knew she was in fourth, with four other ships behind her. She needed to pick up some positions here if she wanted a chance to win. She hadn't thought she stood a chance when Lean entered her in the race. Now she knew she could win it. 

She needed to take some chances.

She plotted a route then sent it back to Winn for him to double check. "How does that look?" she asked. 

"It looks… scary. You're getting awfully close to that planet." Winn's voice was shaking. If she got too close, she'd get sucked into the planet's gravity well and lose time. 

"Yeah, but do you think it'll work?" Kara asked again.

"You're the pilot, Kara. Trust your instincts." Winn said and he reached forward and slapped the top of Kara's shoulder.

"Right." Kara took a deep breath, pointed them toward the planet, and hit the throttle. She did a quick scan. She was in third but almost in second. 

The planet grew bigger and bigger in front of them. Then Kara turned at the last minute, skipped off of the atmosphere and careened in exactly the direction she wanted to go. She was in second. The risk had paid off. She hit the navigation point in the outer solar system and swung around where she was facing Allysia once again. She just had to get back there and the race was over. It was a sprint to the finish. 

"You got this?" Kara asked Winn. Kara needed the fuel mixed perfectly if she was going to win, and that was Winn's job. 

"I _got_ this," she could feel Winn's confident smile. He was finally getting into the race. "Punch it."

Kara did.

***

Alex kept checking over the secondary systems. They would do for now. They would hold out until they returned to the Excelsior. Knowing that didn't make her any less paranoid.

"Has anything changed in the last 90 seconds?" Maggie drawled. She looked supremely relaxed. Alex was baffled. She never reacted that way to a near-death experience, and she had had more than enough to know. Normally they left her hyper. This time she was just worried. Something wasn't right here.

"No, nothing's changed," she said, concern filled her voice.

"Then why don't you leave it alone?" Maggie asked. She spun from side to side in her chair. Maybe Maggie was so relaxed because the adrenalin had already worked out of her system. 

"Because it was weird," Alex responded. "Coolant failures are never the first sign of trouble. They're the result of a cascade of problems."

"So this time we were unlucky. You checking the systems every two minutes isn't going to change anything," Maggie tried to reassure Alex. "Hey," she reached out with her foot and tapped Alex's chair. "Take a breather. Drink some synthohol or something." 

Alex just shot her a disapproving look. 

Maggie rolled her eyes and got up. She walked around to the back of Alex's chair and started rubbing her shoulders. "Come on and relax. Go over your equipment one last time or something." 

"I guess," Alex grumbled back. She couldn't believe that she was actually contemplating taking Maggie's advice. 

"Besides, shouldn't you be taking us to where your lights are going to appear?"

Alex sighed. "You're right."

***

Kara stumbled out of the racing ship and directly into the too loud roar of the crowd. She had won. _She had won!_ She couldn't believe it. She threw her arms around Winn as soon as his feet hit the ground. He picked her up and spun her around in a circle.

"We did it," she shouted. "We really did it!" She hugged him again. Streamers and confetti poured down on them from somewhere above and blue and red fireworks burst overhead. 

She had a bottle of Allysian champagne thrust into her hands. She shook it and popped it open letting its contents mist over them. She briefly hoped the purple wouldn't stain her hair. 

Suddenly Lena was there and Kara couldn't help herself. She grabbed the other woman and pulled her in for a long, long kiss. Their lips moved together and the rest of the world fell away. It was just them, the places where their bodies met, the places where Lena's breath brushed against her skin. The crowd roared again and it pulled Kara out of her haze. 

She smiled a goofy grin. "I hope that was okay?" she asked. 

"It was perfect."

***

Alex tapped a sequence into the panel in front of her and the runabout slowly drifted to a stop. "We're here," Alex said though really they could observe the lights from most of the solar system. Alex had had the computer calculate the best spot to watch everything though, and this was it.

"Now what?" Maggie asked. 

"Now we wait for the show to start," Alex said. "If my calculations are correct, that should be somewhere in the next hour." She tapped a few buttons on her panel and looked out the front window like she might already be able to see something. 

"Cutting it a little close there, weren't you?" Maggie teased. Alex smiled back. Actually, on the scale of stellar phenomenon, it was incredibly close. If her math had been even the slightest bit off, they could have missed the lights entirely.

"The Excelsior was supposed to be here days ago. And my research would have been fine if we had missed the beginning, but they only last for around 37 hours."

"Then I'm glad we got here on time," Maggie smiled over at Alex. Alex smiled back. 

"Me too, or I would have had to wait another 25 years," Alex replied as she settled down to wait for the lights to start.

***

"Wow," Maggie said as she started out of the viewscreen. The lights had started and they were amazing. Maggie had never seen anything like them before in her life.

"I know," Alex replied. The lights flashed in swirls of red and gold and every color in the spectrum between them. "I wish I could be out there. I don't know why. The view would be the same, but I just…" Alex shrugged. Maggie still knew what she meant. 

"So do it," Maggie said. "Take one of the EVA suits and go out there." It was a crazy suggestion, but Maggie liked doing things that were a little crazy.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that would be?" Alex replied her eyes wide. Maggie grinned. She liked surprising Alex. It was fun. 

"Don't sweat it, Alex. I'll be in here to keep an eye on you the whole time," she reassured the other woman. She would be. She didn't want anything happening to Alex. Then she'd have to make the trip back to the ship alone. 

Maggie could see the temptation in Alex's eyes.

"You're right. I'm gonna do it," Alex announced. Her eyes sparkled with mischief and Maggie got caught up in them.

Alex made her way to the back of the cabin and started pulling out the parts to one of the EVA suits. She put it on as she went: boots, pants, torso, sleeves, gloves. Everything was secure except for her helmet. 

"I'll be back," she said before she headed toward the airlock.

***

"What were you thinking? You stubborn woman. I told you not to push yourself too hard. That includes not climbing up a freaking mountain." Elizabeth berated Lucy as Lucy laid on a biobed.

"It was a hill. I was going for a walk in the holodeck. It was perfectly safe. And maybe I just missed your scowling, concerned face," Lucy teased. She had missed Elizabeth, but she hadn't missed staring up at the sickbay ceiling. 

"I do not scowl. And if it was 'perfectly safe,' why are you back in my sickbay?" Elizabeth asked in irritation.

Lucy looked at her curiously. Elizabeth seemed to be overreacting to what was, overall, a minor injury. "Okay, maybe it wasn't quite so perfectly safe. I really don't know what happened though. One minute I was walking and the next I was doubled over in pain."

"Hmmm, maybe I released you too soon. Or it could just be a side effect of some of the drugs we had to give you to get your body to heal. We'll do a full work-up and, as much as I know you love my company," Elizabeth said, "We'll try to get you out of here." 

"That would be great. Thank you." Lucy said.

***

"So how's the view?" Maggie's voice came through the com system.

"It's amazing." Alex kept her magnetic boots firmly attached to the outside of the runabout lest she get too wrapped up in what was in front of her and float away.

"Ready to come back in yet?" Maggie asked. Truthfully, no. No, she wasn't ready to go back in, but she had already risked too much. 

"Yeah," Alex said distantly. Maggie triggered the airlock and listened carefully for the sound of Alex's boots as she kept an eye on her screen as well. As soon as Alex was back inside she repressurized the airlock. She got up to meet Alex in the cargo bay. Alex was just taking her helmet off when Maggie got there. 

"Maggie, that was… I don't have words." Alex was in awe. It had been spectacular, maybe one of the best experiences in her entire life. 

Maggie smiled, dimples on full display. "That's gre--" Alex's lips cut Maggie off. Alex pulled away almost immediately. 

"Oh, God, I'm so sor--" Maggie captured Alex's lips with her own. Alex moaned before Maggie slid back. 

"You can't just keep kissing me like that, Danvers," Maggie said quietly as she cupped Alex's face. It was the only bit of skin she could touch. Alex didn't want to lean into Maggie's hand. She didn't. She did it anyway. 

"Right, no, I…" Alex stumbled over her words. Maggie stopped her with another kiss. Alex melted. She had never been kissed like that before. She'd never really been interested in being kissed like that before. Maybe she had been missing out. Maybe it was just Maggie. Her eyelids slid closed. 

"Is this okay?" Maggie asked. Was it okay? It was more than okay. Alex never wanted Maggie to stop.

"Yes," Alex whimpered. "Yes."

Maggie kissed Alex again.

Something had been building between them the entire time they had been on the runabout, and now it broke against them. Alex returned Maggie's kiss with her whole body. Maggie scratched along Alex's jaw with her fingernails, pushed her hands into Alex's hair to pull her further down. 

Alex reached for Maggie only to be thwarted by her EVA suit. "Damn it," she said. The damned clumsy fingers kept getting in her way. She couldn't feel Maggie. 

"Let me help," Maggie said as she kissed Alex again then stepped back. She took Alex's hand in hers and quickly unfastened the lock one glove. She kissed the center of Alex's palm once it was free then moved to Alex's other hand where she repeated the process. Alex shuddered. Both of the gloves ended up on the floor. As soon as Maggie released her hands, Alex started working the rest of her torso out of the suit. It was faster if she did it herself, but much slower than usual since Maggie's lips were behind her ear. Each part of the suit came off with a thunk and a clatter as it hit the floor until finally it was gone. 

"That's not the only thing I want off you of, Alex," Maggie said. 

"Please," whimpered again as Maggie's fingers came to the front of her uniform and started peeling it open. She pushed Alex's jacket off and let it fall on top of her EVA suit. 

"In here," Maggie said as she pushed Alex back toward the crew quarters. Alex nearly stumbled over the threshold, but Maggie caught her before she could fall. Then she maneuvered Alex up against the wall and pushed their bodies together. Alex pushed back, but Maggie didn't move. Everything was happening so fast, but it wasn't fast enough. Alex just needed… she needed Maggie. She needed her everywhere, to feel her everywhere. Maggie got her own jacket off. 

"I want you, Alex," Maggie said. "I want you now."

Alex moaned and threaded her fingers through Maggie's hair pulling their faces closer together where she could kiss Maggie that much more deeply. Freed from her jacket, Alex tugged impatiently at the shirt underneath. She wanted it off. She wanted Maggie's off. She wanted to be able to feel Maggie's skin against her's, to touch it with her hands. Why did Starfleet uniforms have so many layers?

"Please," Alex responded. She finally got her shirt off and she pulled her bra off with it. She was topless and Maggie was staring. 

"Damn," Maggie whispered. She reached for Alex's pants while Alex's reached for Maggie's shirt. Somehow, they got both off. Alex fell back onto the bed and pushed up on her elbows. 

"Get those pants off and get over here," she ordered as she reached for Maggie. 

"Yes, ma'am" Maggie replied. It was the last order Alex would give that night. Maggie stepped out of her boots and pulled her pants down before climbing on top of Alex. Finally. Finally, they were skin to skin. "I want you on top of me," Maggie said. Alex rolled them over in the too small bed and straddled Maggie's hips, her hands on either side of Maggie's head holding her up. 

"Like this?" Alex asked. Maggie nodded. 

"Yeah, just like that." She leaned up and caught one of Alex's nipples between her lips. Alex gasped and barely stopped her arms from buckling. Her breathing picked up. Her heart fluttered in her chest. She whimpered in need. Maggie licked and sucked at her nipple, bringing a hand up to cup Alex's other breast at the same time, Alex's nipple hardening against Maggie's palm. Maggie let go of Alex's nipple with her mouth and immediately covered that breast with her hand as well. Alex's hips bucked down against Maggie's God, everything about Maggie felt so good, from the points of her hips digging in lightly to the back of Alex's thighs, to her short nails scratching over Alex's breasts, to the wet heat of her mouth on Alex's collarbone. It was all driving Alex crazy. 

"Please," Alex begged, "please." She kept pressing her hips down against Maggie's. 

"What do you need, Alex? Tell me," Maggie commanded. Alex shivered as the bottom of her stomach dropped. 

"I need you to touch me," Alex breathed out. " _Please_. 

"Alright. Alright," Maggie said back to her as she pushed a hand up Alex's leg to the apex of her thighs. She lightly scratched her fingers over Alex's lips and Alex shuddered and moaned. Then Maggie slipped a finger between them. Alex moaned again, louder this time. She could feel how wet she was against Maggie's fingers, by the way they slipped over her clit, by the way they easily slipped inside of her. Alex gasped. Her whole universe focused down to the spot where Maggie's fingers pressed into her. 

There wasn't much room between Maggie's hips and her hand, but she used it to her full advantage, bracing her hand against herself where she could use the power of her hips to fuck up into Alex. 

Alex gasped and moaned again. She was close and getting closer by the second. 

"Maggie."

"That's it. I've got you."

Then Maggie's thumb rubbed over her clit and Alex was gone. She shuddered hard, her clit pulsing under Maggie's thumb in time with her walls clenching around Maggie's fingers. She finally collapsed forward, only barely avoiding landing straight on top of Maggie. 

Sweat shone on both of their skin. Alex felt amazing. If it hadn't been for the mechanical malfunction, Alex would say it was one of the best days of her life. 

"Are you okay?" Maggie rolled onto her side to face Alex. She placed a hand on Alex's hip. 

"I'm fantastic," Alex replied. She leaned in and kissed Maggie, licking over Maggie's lips and into her mouth. "Now, it's your turn." Alex pushed Maggie onto her back and kissed her again. 

Having Maggie underneath her was incredible. And as unexpected at it all felt, it felt just as inevitable.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bear to write, so I hope you all enjoy it.

"Take me flying," Lena said from where she was tucked into Kara's side. The awards ceremony was over, but the real celebrating hadn't started yet. It would wait until after dinner, immediately after dinner, but that was an hour away at least. They would be dining with the other competitors as part of the post-race pleasantries, a symbol carried over from a much earlier time to show that there was peace among all of the entrants. 

"That's an amazing idea," Kara said as she bounced up and pulled Lena up with her. She placed an impulsive kiss on Lena's lips then quickly pulled away. She got to do that now! She got to kiss Lena! The entire day was amazing. She still couldn't believe she had won, but she assumed it would sink in eventually. Meanwhile, they were going to go flying!

Kara practically skipped into the courtyard pulling Lena in her wake. "Do you trust me?" she asked Lena.

"Of course I do," Lena replied. 

"Good," Kara said. "Good." Kara scooped Lena up in her arms and rocketed straight up without warning. Lena flinched and held on to Kara even more tightly. They flew upward until they could see all of the city laid out below them, then Kara leveled off. 

"It's amazing," Lena said and she nuzzled in closer to Kara's body. It was colder up at those altitudes.

"I know," Kara sighed. "I love it up here." She turned her head and caught Lena's lips in another kiss, her tongue quickly granted entrance into Lena's mouth. She licked over Lena's lips, brushed their tongues together, and pulled her in even closer. Lena's hands were raking through her hair and proving to be completely distracting. 

Eventually, Kara pulled her lips away. "We should probably get back to the ground before we mess up someone's flight path," Kara murmured. She didn't want to tell Lena that the real reason she wanted to go down was that she wanted to know what her skin tasted like. Kara slowly started to drift down.

After all, they had so much time before dinner and the partying began.

***

Maggie was in the middle of a novel when she first heard it. It sounded like whimpering coming from the crew quarters. Was Alex having a nightmare? Maggie checked that the autopilot was set and levered herself out of her seat. The whimpers turned into moans as she got closer. Maggie hit the button to open the door to small cabin Alex was sleeping in. She assumed that the opening of the door would be enough to wake Alex, but it didn't.

Alex was thrashing on the bunk. She looked like she was being held down, fighting against nothing. "No," Alex said in her sleep. "Take me. Take me." She repeated it over and over again as tears started to leak out of her eyes. 

Maggie carefully sat down on the edge of the bunk and reached for one of Alex's arms. Alex completely stilled. "No, no, no," Alex shook her head. "Not you too."

Maggie didn't know who Alex was talking to, but it wasn't her. It had to be someone in her dream. Alex started thrashing again. "Don't die. _Please_. I'll get you off of Korlox. I will. I will." 

Korlox? Maggie only knew of one Korlox. Korlox IV. Even then, it was just rumors. Rumors that Starfleet had sent their best spec ops team there and they all died. Had Alex been there too? Maggie reeled back in shock. That couldn't possibly be true. The rumors said no one got out alive. Maggie blinked and looked down at Alex again. She was still crying in her sleep, and Maggie couldn't let her stay like that.

"Alex," she whispered. When that didn't work, she said it louder. She shook Alex hard. That finally did the trick. 

"Wha--?" Alex said as she woke up. One of her hands immediately went to her face and started wiping away the tears. "I'm sorry. I must have… I must have been having a nightmare," Alex said. "I… It's been forever. I'm sorry I disturbed you." 

"You didn't," Maggie said as she leaned down and placed a kiss in Alex's hair. "Do you think you can go back to sleep? You're not on watch for another couple of hours."

Alex shook her head. "No. Once I'm up, I'm up. You should go ahead and get some rest though."

Maggie saw the request for what it was. Alex needed some time alone to collect herself. Maggie needed some time alone to process what she had just heard. If she hadn't really believed it before, now she knew that Alex was spec ops. What did that mean for them? Surely Alex would stop lying to her now that she had heard that dream, knew that Maggie knew. She nodded. "Yeah, okay." She pulled herself away from Alex and stood. "I'll be next door if you need me," she said. She stood at the doorway just looking at Alex for a long moment before she turned and went into the other set of crew quarters.

***

"God, what did we drink last night?" Kara asked as she squinted against the light pouring through the windows in Lena's bedroom.

"I have no idea but I'm never drinking it again," Lena replied. She threw one arm over her eyes and used the other to reach out to Kara. She bumped into Kara's arm a few times before she successfully found her hand. Once she did, she squeezed it. "Do you remember anything after we got on that shuttle to the Khatari province?" 

"Ugh, not really. God, I need to brush my teeth," Kara moaned. 

"There's an extra sonic toothbrush in the bathroom if you can make it that far." Lena rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. Somehow she had stumbled into her nightclothes. That was a good sign.

"Whatever we did," Kara said as she rummaged around in the bathroom, "I'm covered in paint and it doesn't want to come off."

"Paint?" Lena lifted her head and looked down at her arms. There were covered in messy lines of bright colors. "We were definitely in Khatari last night." Lena rolled out of bed and started looking at the seemingly random patterns that covered her skin. "They use paint for celebrating everything." Lena bemusedly smiled down at the marks on her skin. "It should fade by the end of the day.

"If you say so," Kara replied skeptically. She emerged from the bathroom and crawled back onto Lena's bed, sitting cross-legged while Lena took her turn in the bathroom. 

"Hey, Lena," Kara sounded unsure.

"Yes?" Lena asked as she reappeared. 

"D'you think anything happened… happened between us last night? I mean, we'd remember that, right?"

Lena cocked her head as she approached. "No, I don't think anything happened, and yes, I think we would remember," Lena said as she leaned down and caught Kara's lips in a kiss. It was neither chaste nor shy, the heat burning between them. Lena pushed Kara back against the piled up pillows and straddled her lap, breaking the kiss only for the moment it took to settle herself. 

Kara leaned up into it, placing a hand on Lena's hip and using it to pull her closer. Lena's breath was hot against her skin when Kara finally pulled away. Lena rested her forehead against Kara's. Kara chanced another quick kiss. "You are… really good at that," Kara said. 

"So are you," Lena replied. Kara blushed, then her stomach rumbled. Lena laughed. 

Kara gave Lena a sheepish smile. "Side effect of the yellow sun. I need about a million more calories a day when I'm here. 

Lena smiled indulgently. "Then let's get you breakfast," she said.

***

"Commander Lane," Elizabeth said as she pulled out a chair and sat at Lucy's table. "I have to say, this much more what I was thinking of when I told you to take it easy." Lucy was sitting in the lounge enjoying a drink and the view. She'd learned her lesson about going on long walks in the holodeck.

"I thought I told you to call me Lucy," Lucy smiled up at Elizabeth as she watched her sit. Lucy hadn't invited her to sit, but she was welcome anyway. Lucy smiled an open smile.

"Right then, Lucy," Elizabeth said. "We'll say I forgot." Elizabeth had a lilting laugh that Lucy really enjoyed. She'd become somewhat familiar with it during their walks around sickbay.

"I'm out of the sickbay for four days and you've already forgotten me," Lucy shook her head as she teased Elizabeth. 

"I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me. I've only been on the ship for a short while, after all." Elizabeth smirked and took a sip of her drink. Elizabeth had transferred onto the ship when they were in space dock. The same time they were collecting Alex. 

"Already done," Lucy said with a smile that reached her eyes. "So, what're you drinking?"

"Just a glass of wine from Earth. I'm afraid I'm very boring." Elizabeth blushed prettily. At least Lucy thought so. 

"I really doubt that's true," Lucy responded. There was no way the doctor was boring. There was too much mischief in her eyes. 

"Well, you'll just have to get to know me more to find out, now won't you?" Elizabeth said. She took a sip of her wine and joined Lucy in looking out the window and into space.

***

Alex was half asleep in her seat when the proximity alarm went off. She jolted awake as she spun toward her console. "Maggie!" She called over her shoulder to the other woman. Maggie was still in the back resting, but she quickly stumbled into the runabout's cockpit.

"What's going on?" Maggie asked as she took her seat. 

"We have visitors." It was highly unlikely that anyone else would be in the Cassian system. It was uninhabited and too far away from most space routes to be a tourist attraction. Maggie was already worried.

"More scientists?" she asked as she ran her own scan of the ship. 

"They're awfully well armed for scientists," Alex replied. Maggie looked down at her scan. They were awfully well armed for any kind of civilian ship. 

"Why does that sound familiar?" Maggie said. She couldn't help the gibe at Alex. Alex was more than she seemed. So were the people who had just joined them.

"Haha. I've already put our shields up. What do think? Should we try hailing them?" Alex asked rhetorically. Maggie was already running her hands over her console to do just that. 

"Unknown vessel, this is the Starfleet ship USS Potomac. Please respond," Maggie turned toward the small viewscreen. There was a beep when communications were established. 

"Well, well, USS Potomac, it's your lucky day," the man, human, or at least something humanoid, sneered at them. The sneer made him ugly and Maggie didn't trust him for a moment. 

"Yeah? Why's that?" Maggie shot a look at Alex. These guys weren't up to anything good. 

"Because you get to be taken hostage by the crew of the Narcissus," he boasted. Maggie could tell he was confident in his ability to carry out his threat. But then, pirates were always confident. It was normally their downfall. 

"And what if we don't want to be taken hostage?" Maggie replied. She really, really didn't want to sit around on this guy's ship waiting for Starfleet to pay some sort of ransom or send in a hostage rescue team. 

"Then you get to die, and we take your ship anyway." If the pirate had had a mustache, he would have been twirling it. It made Maggie sick.

"Yeah, I don't like either of those options. Let's go with option three: you're under arrest for attempted piracy." Maggie glanced over at Alex and saw that she was slowly bringing the weapons online. 

The man on the other side of the communication bust out laughing. "You? Are arresting me?" His face got suddenly dark. He didn't give them any warning before he said, "Fire!"

Maggie cut off communications and spun back to her console. Alex was already dodging the phaser bolts coming from the other ship. "I'm gonna go with fire at will, Lieutenant," she said over the sounds created by the strain she was putting on the ship as she tried more and more daring maneuvers. 

"Yes, ma'am," Maggie said back, already locking on to the places in the other ship's shield that she hoped were the thinnest. The ship rocked when Alex mistimed a turn and a phaser beam hit them.

"Shields down to 50 percent," Maggie yelled. One of the rear consoles exploded and there was crackling energy all around them. Between Alex's flying and the hits that were getting through, the ship kept shuddering and rocking. The metal started to moan. 

"Motherfucker," Alex said as another phaser blast hit the Potomac. "I hope we're faster than them because we need to get out of here," Alex said.

"Agreed."

Alex was just starting up the warp drive when another blast hit them, the shields came down, and the whine of a transporter cut the air. Alex was out of her seat before the transporter stopped and the first pirate was greeted by her fist in their face. It rocked him back, but he stayed up and took a swing at Alex. Somewhere in her peripheral vision, Alex saw Maggie up out of her seat taking on another of the pirates, but she ignored it in favor of the pirate in front of her. Alex didn't have much room, but she got one, swift kick off to knock the guy back again. Then he pulled out a knife and charged her with a roar. She ignored the roar as she focused on the knife. 

It took three swift jabs and a dislocated shoulder before the knife was in Alex's hand. A second later it was in the man's chest and he wasn't a threat anymore. A glance at Maggie showed she was holding her own, but they needed the fight to be over and they needed it to be over now before the pirates still on the ship realized their men hadn't won, and that they should cut their losses and just blow the runabout up. 

Alex took one step, grabbed the man's head and snapped his neck. She let his body drop to the floor. She was breathing hard and she was going to be covered in bruises, but that didn't matter. She jerked back to her console and engaged the warp drive.

***

With the warp drive engaged, it seemed like they were, indeed, faster than the pirate vessel. Neither Alex nor Maggie saw anything following them.

"I think the warp core malfunction might have been a trap," Alex said. She was hauling the second of the dead bodies to a stasis chamber at the very back of the ship. God, they were heavy. "If we had ejected the warp core, then we wouldn't have really had any choice than to surrender." 

"Yeah, you're probably right," Maggie said, but she sounded distracted. She had slipped back into her seat in the cockpit and was just staring at her console. Now that they were at warp, there wasn't much for her to do. She ran another sensor sweep just to have something to do with her hands. 

Alex walked through the cockpit and took her seat next to Maggie. She ran a hand through her hair to resettle it. Sweat plastered hair to her temples though so she was only partially successful. She glanced over at Maggie and a grin spread across her face. Maggie looked at her questioningly. It was enough to make Alex start giggling. Now Maggie was looking at her like she was nuts.

"What're you…?" Maggie started. "Why are you laughing?" Maggie asked very seriously.

"You have to admit, these have been some of the craziest 24 hours you've ever experienced, right?" Alex wasn't laughing anymore, but her smile didn't go away.

Maggie furrowed her brow. "You just killed two men. You killed two men and you're laughing? I mean, sure, I've killed people in battle, but I've never laughed about it."

Alex sobered. Was that really what Maggie thought? Yes, she'd killed the men, but she hadn't taken in joy in it. "I'm not laughing about killing them. I'm laughing at the situation. We almost died twice in one day, which has to be an accomplishment, and we also had two utterly amazing experiences between them." It wasn't the first time Alex's life had been in danger more than once in 24 hours, but between the lights and the sex, it was one of the weirdest. 

"I just…," Maggie shook her head. "There were two of us. We could have subdued the second guy."

This time it was Alex looking at Maggie like she was crazy. "They were trying to kill us." Was Maggie serious? You didn't leave threats like that alive to try again unless you needed them for something. It was unlikely the two pirates who boarded their ship knew anything worthwhile. 

"No, they were trying to kidnap us," Maggie responded. 

"He drew a knife on me. That's a pretty good indication of his intent." Alex said, her voice clipped. Maybe the captain of the ship had originally wanted them as hostages, but by the time he sent men over, that wasn't their mission. He wanted them dead where he could take the ship.

"Fine. Whatever," Maggie said as she shook her head. She started to get up.

"What does that mean?" Alex looked at Maggie in question. Why was Maggie so upset about this?

"It means… I don't know. I don't know what it means. I'm going to go take a shower."

***

"Lena?"

"Yes?" Lena said. The paint that covered their bodies was slowly starting to fade. 

"I, uh, I need to go back to the ship soon," Kara said. They were lingering over breakfast and Kara was tapping her fingers on the table. "The captain let me have a lot of time off while I was preparing for the race. It's only fair that I take a few extra shifts where some other people can relax. 

"Oh," Lena sounded disappointed. "I understand."

"I'm just saying, I probably can't really stay here past today. I mean, I should probably let the paint fade before I go back, but after that…" Kara shrugged. 

"Well, then we'll just have to make the most of this day, won't we?"

***

Maggie sighed as she stepped out of the shower. Sonic showers were never as good as real ones, but she knew better than to expect hot water on a relatively small ship. She was just about to drop her towel when she looked up and startled. Alex was standing there, arms wrapped over her stomach protectively.

"Look, Maggie, I don't want to fight with you," Alex said. Her shoulders were slumped and she was slightly curled in on herself. 

"Okay," Maggie said. She pulled her towel a little tighter around her body. 

"Really?" Alex asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, really." After the day that they'd had, fighting with Alex over a couple of pirates just didn't seem worth it. She stepped closer to Alex and looped her arms around Alex's neck. "Just… take me back to bed and help me forget about the shitty parts of today. 

"I can do that," Alex said as she leaned down and kissed Maggie. She lifted Maggie up and encouraged her to wrap her legs around Alex's waist, and then Alex carried Maggie back to the crew quarters.

***

The bed really was too small for the both of them. It was cramped and not made for two people, but Maggie found she didn't have the motivation to move. Still, Alex was asleep and Maggie needed to get up. One of them really needed to be manning the ship and after Alex's nightmares, it seemed like she should let Alex sleep. Maggie ran her fingers down the outside of Alex's arm. Alex, apparently, was a sound sleeper. Maggie didn't know how that could be. If she had just killed two people with her bare hands like that, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to sleep.

Was that what it meant to be spec ops? To hold that much power over life and death in your hands. She had seen Alex take down a holographic opponent like it was nothing, but apparently, even then she had been holding back. If Alex had had a knife of her own, would the runabout be bathed in blood? 

Maggie thought she had gotten away from that sort of slaughter when the war ended, when she got posted to the Excelsior and they'd been sent on a mission to explore.

But here was Alex, sound asleep under her hands, the living embodiment of death. How hard must that be? Maggie felt the smallest pang of regret at trying to force Alex to own up to it, but she needed to know what was happening on her ship. That included finding out who Alex really was.

Maggie slipped out of bed, pulled her uniform on and went back out to the cockpit.

***

"You know, I really didn't need you to walk me back to my quarters," Lucy said as she and Elizabeth approached her door. Lucy was swaying just a bit and Elizabeth had insisted that Lucy take her arm for the entirety of the walk back.

"Don't be ridiculous," Elizabeth said. "I'm the one who got you drunk. The least I can do as your friend _and_ your doctor is to see that you make it home in one piece."

"You did get me drunk, didn't you?" Lucy smiled up at Elizabeth, happy that Elizabeth was no longer treating her with kid gloves. 

"I'm afraid I did. It was highly irresponsible of me." Elizabeth smiled back. Lucy wanted to reach out and touched Elizabeth's lightly freckled skin. 

Lucy drifted in her drunken state, not wanting to let go of Elizabeth's arm. "Come inside," she said as they reached Lucy's quarters. 

"Oh, I really shouldn't," Elizabeth protested. 

"Please." Lucy tried to pout but it came off more as comical. Elizabeth chuckled. 

"Well, alright, but only because you are so thoroughly charming," Elizabeth said. She stepped over the threshold after Lucy, their arms no longer linked, but still joined at their fingers. Lucy squeezed Elizabeth's fingers. They came to stand in the middle of Lucy's living room. "Is this where you offer to make me coffee or something?"

"I think we can skip the coffee, don't you?" Lucy tugged at a curl of Elizabeth's hair then drew her down into a kiss.

***

Kara tangled her fingers through Lena's. They were curled up together in Lena's bed, cooling skin pressed against cooling skin. Kara wasn't exactly sure how they had gotten there. They'd taken a walk after breakfast finally ended, just wandered through Lena's gardens. It had been nice after the excitement and exhaustion of the week before. Then they were kissing and stumbling toward Lena's room. It seemed Kara never was going to get to use the room Lena had set aside for her. She wasn't particularly upset by it.

"I'm going to miss you when you're back on your ship," Lena said as she lifted their hands and placed a kiss on Kara's fingers. She held them up and started playing with them. 

"I'm going to miss you too," Kara replied. She pressed her face into Lena's shoulder and kissed it. When had she gotten so attached to Lena? 

"Do you think it would have been better if we had never done this?" Lena asked. Kara heard the regret in her voice and wondered just what it was Lena was regretting: the relationship or asking the question. 

"Which part?" Kara asked back. Did Lena regret the sex or the early flirtation or something in the middle? Kara didn't regret any of it. 

"I don't know. Any of it? Today? We could have just kept it a casual flirtation." Lena said though she sounded reluctant. "It would have been easier."

"Do you… D'you think it's more than a casual flirtation?" Kara untangled her fingers from Lena's where she could prop herself up on one elbow. She splayed out her free hand over Lena's stomach. 

Lena looked at Kara in surprise. "Don't you?" Kara hadn't been sure how Lena felt. She only knew what she was feeling. 

"Yeah. It feels like more than that. At least to me." Kara's voice was small. She put her head down on Lena's shoulder and snuggled closer.

"Then we need a plan," Lena said. "How long are you staying in orbit?"

"Until Alex and Maggie get back, which could be any day now," Kara said unhappily. It was all so uncertain. Kara hated that she didn't really have control over the situation. 

"Don't worry. We'll figure something out." Lena kissed Kara's forehead.


	10. Chapter 10

"You can talk to me, you know," Maggie said as they sat in the cockpit of the runabout. They were only hours from the ship and they had spent the last few days neglecting most of their duties in favor of mapping each other's skin, of learning each other's bodies. It had been the best few days that Alex could remember in years, certainly the best days she's had since the disaster at Korlox. She didn't know she had it in her to feel like this, to be able to push the ever-present grief and guilt aside. She didn't deserve the peace that being with Maggie brought her, she knows that, but she can't bring herself to give it up. It already had an end date, she's still going back to her lab, so why rush it? 

Their poker games had certainly gotten a lot more interesting, and she was happy to lose and lose and lose if it meant giving Maggie what she wanted. She was just thinking of grabbing Maggie's hand and pulling her back to the back when Maggie's words interrupted her thoughts. 

"What?" she asks as she focused again. 

"I said… I said you can talk to me," Maggie repeated herself. She spun in her chair where she's facing Alex. "You've been having nightmares. They seem to stop before I can get close enough to wake you up, so I let you sleep, but if you want to talk about them…" Maggie shrugged, "I'm here."

Alex pursed her lips. Her sleep had been restless lately, more so after the encounter with the pirates, but even before that. She thought she had broken herself of the habit. She hoped she wasn't talking in her sleep again. It was bad enough when she was with Lucy. Lucy, who she trusted, still trusts, implicitly. Maggie isn't Lucy. Maggie, who is still obsessed with Alex's status as a member of the special forces, even if she's put it on the back burner for the last week. Maggie, who she has to remind herself she can't trust. Not really. 

"There's nothing to talk about," Alex's words came out more harshly than she intended, and Maggie recoiled slightly. Maybe it was for the best though. Her nightmares would only confirm what Maggie already suspected and she couldn't do that. 

"Sure Danvers, whatever you say," Maggie replied skeptically. 

"Just leave it alone, Maggie. I don't want to talk about it, so let it go." Alex hoped Maggie really would let it go, but she was tenacious when she wanted something she couldn't get, so Alex wasn't hopeful.

"Fine," Maggie replied. 

They sat in silence for a long time, the air tense between them, before Maggie tried again. 

"You weren't having them on the way out to the Cassian system," Maggie said. Alex drew her shoulders up with tension. 

"I said to leave it," Alex was getting irritated now. 

"Is it about the pirates?" Maggie asked.

Alex sucked in a breath at Maggie's insight. God, why couldn't Maggie just let her be? Of course the dreams were about the pirates, but Maggie didn't need to know that. Alex had thought she was done with having to defend herself like that, to think like that, but as soon as the situation arose, she was back in the past and two men were dead. Still, she didn't regret killing them. It was what she had to do at the time. It was a sound judgment call. Alex looked over at Maggie for the first time since the conversation began. 

"I made a decision about those pirates. If you don't like it, that's fine, but I can't change it, and frankly, if it happened again, I'd do that same thing. I don't appreciate being psychoanalyzed." Alex said emphatically. If Maggie got her feelings hurt, that was too bad.

"Did you even think about what you were doing before you killed those men?" Maggie replied. Her own voice just a cutting as Alex's. It made Alex even more tense.

"I didn't have to," Alex said confidently. There hadn't been time to think and even if she had, she would have reached the same conclusion. The ability to make correct decisions quickly was part of her training.

"That's good to know. It's good to know how much thought you put into taking a man's life," Maggie spat out. 

"You want the truth, but you aren't prepared to live with it. Maybe you should think about that before you ask any more questions." Alex turned back to her console. It seemed like the air in the runabout dropped several degrees. It was a good thing they were almost back to the ship.

***

"Ambassador, I didn't know you were on board," J'onn said as he passed Lena in the hallway near the crew quarters. He stopped to great the ambassador. It was odd that no one had alerted him to her presence.

"It isn't an official visit," Lena replied. Still, now that the captain knew that she was there, there were certain niceties that she couldn't avoid. 

"Ahh." J'onn nodded his head in understanding. "You're here to see Kara." 

"Well, yes, in fact." Lena very much was there to see Kara, the rest of the ship, J'onn included, be damned. She was anxious to get to Kara's quarters. There was only so much time left for them to spend together. 

"Mmm," J'onn replied. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I want you to know that Kara is my Goddaughter, and I would be… displeased… if anything were to needlessly upset her." 

"Of course, Captain," Lena nodded and sensed she'd been dismissed.

***

Lucy leaned against a wall in the shuttle bay as the runabout slowly touched down. She didn't have to be there. There was nothing that said the first officer had to great incoming crew members, but she wanted to be there. She could admit to some level of curiosity about how Alex and Maggie had fared being stuck together for a week. They'd either be friends or they'd end up hating each other. Lucy was hoping for the former. Alex could do with some more friends. As far as Lucy knew, she only had the one, and they hadn't spoken to each other in two years.

The hatch slid open and Alex and Maggie came marching out as quickly as was humanly possible. Once they were clear, they put as much distance between them as they could as they walked toward the door. Maggie stopped when she saw Lucy. 

"Is there something you need, Commander?" Maggie said with barely disguised hostility in her voice. Maggie hadn't been back long enough for Lucy to have put it there, so it must have been Alex. 

"No," Lucy replied, "You're free to leave." Lucy glanced over to Alex with a look that stopped Alex in her tracks. 

"Thank you," Maggie said as she pushed through the already open door. Lucy followed her out with her eyes. Maggie was pissed. 

Alex finished her walk to Lucy. "Something you want to tell me?" Lucy asked with a raised eyebrow. Clearly, something had happened while the two women had been gone. 

"No," Alex answered mulishly. She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. Lucy wasn't going to be getting any answers out of Alex right then. 

"Something you'll tell me about anyway if I pour enough scotch in you?" Lucy tried again.

Alex sighed. "Probably."

***

A few minutes later, Maggie practically stomped into her quarters. She couldn't believe Alex would be so cavalier about taking a life. She threw her bag down on the couch and started to strip off her uniform. She needed a shower, a real one. She was just about to head into her bathroom when she saw the message blinking for her at her desk. She went over and listened to it and immediately pressed the button to call F'thath back. She was seated before the subspace communication connected.

"Maggie, I was wondering when you would get back to me. I was starting to worry," he said. 

"I've been off the ship on a mission," she replied. "What do you have for me?" She still felt grimy and this wasn't a conversation to linger over. 

"What you wanted. Would I have bothered to contact you otherwise?" F'thath brushed some hair back from his forehead. "It wasn't easy for me to do, and if someone finds out you have this, it doesn't get traced back to me. Are we understood?" 

"Of course," Maggie said. "No one knows you gave it to me. No one knows we ever talked." She shifted anxiously in her seat. Finally, she was going to get her answers. 

F'thath sent the file and Maggie opened it. She glanced at just enough to make sure it was intact. 

"No one better find out that you have it. It's level 10 clearance. Captain's eyes only," he said as Maggie looked. 

"Captain's eyes only? So the captain of this ship would know about?" J'onn would know about it. Of course he would. It made sense that he would want to know the background of all of his personnel. It made even more sense knowing that Alex and J'onn had some sort of prior relationship.

"I can't say for sure, but if anyone there does, it would be him." Maggie nodded absently.

"Thanks, man. I owe you big time," she said.

"Oh, I know." He signed off and Maggie picked up her PADD to look over what F'thath had sent her. Alex's file. The real one. It started out the same as her other one. Her Academy transcripts were the same, her first posting was the same. Then things got interesting. Oh, Alex was posted at West Point, but she wasn't some Admiral's secretary like her official file said. Maggie was right. She was in spec ops training, then she was on spec ops missions. Maggie skimmed over the actual missions, they didn't matter to her. All that mattered was that Alex had been on them, that she had lied to Maggie. 

Maggie skimmed ahead to the second hole in Alex's record. More training, but then just one entry: Korlox IV. Maggie couldn't help herself. She opened the mission report. There was nothing to see. Just conjunctions and black bars. What had happened that even a top-secret file wouldn't have the details? Maggie tossed down the PADD in frustration even though she didn't need to know what happened to confirm that Alex was involved. She picked the PADD back up and read through the contents again. 

She knew it. She had known it for weeks now. She had just… forgotten for a moment while they were on the runabout. 

It had taken Alex less than five minutes to kill two men, and she didn't seem to have any remorse about it. And the way that she did it… Alex didn't learn to fight like that fighting simulations. She didn't learn to shoot like that on a range. And she didn't have nightmares about a disaster she had never witnessed. She had been on Korlox IV. Her records said so. Alex had given herself away and Maggie just… pretended like it wasn't true. When really, it _was_ the truth. 

Alex had lied to her. Repeatedly. 

She didn't know if she was more angry at Alex or herself. Now, what to do with the information?

***

"I don't want you to go," Kara said. She was snuggled against Lena's side on the couch in her quarters. What had once seemed too small was now the perfect size. Kara had one of Lena's hands in her own and she was playing with Lena's fingers.

"Maybe I could stow away?" Lena joked. Kara gave her a wan smile. They had agreed that they would try to sustain their relationship through subspace communication and visits whenever they could, but Kara knew how hard that was going to be. Still, other people managed it every day. Not every Starfleet posting came with the ability to bring your family along. It could be years before some people could see their children. If those people could do it, Kara and Lena could do it too. 

"I think they'd find you before we left orbit," Kara said. She kissed Lena's cheek as Lena pouted. 

"Well, it was worth a shot." Lena held Kara more tightly against her, pressing her face into Kara's neck.

***

"So what's up with you and Maggie," Lucy asked. They were sitting in Lucy's quarters, Alex on the couch with her feet on the coffee table and Lucy sitting in her favorite chair. Alex had what used to be her favorite blanket of Lucy's wrapped around her shoulders. She had been amazed to find that Lucy still had it, and her questioning look had just been met by a light shrug. They were on their third glass of scotch when Lucy finally got around to her question.

Alex huffed. "We slept together," it was the easiest thing to admit to. That had been the problem after all. If they hadn't had sex, then Maggie wouldn't have cared so much that Alex had killed those two men. She might not like Alex anymore, but she wouldn't have taken it so personally. 

"And it was so explosive that it left phaser burns on the outside of your runabout?" Lucy smirked.

"We were attacked by pirates," Alex huffed. She shifted in her seat, sinking further down into it. She was hoping the full story would wait until after she and Maggie had filed their mission reports.

"Pirates?" Lucy replied incredulously. "I think you'd better start from the beginning." Lucy pinned Alex with a look. 

"There really isn't much to tell," Alex took another sip of her scotch. "We flew out to the Cassian system, our warp core malfunctioned, possibly as part of a trap, we studied the lights, we slept together, we got attacked by pirates, and then we came back," Alex said. She let her head loll back and stared at the ceiling. 

"So the sex so bad that you hate each other now?" Lucy asked. Alex laughed bitterly. 

"No, no the sex wasn't bad. The sex was great. Maggie's just… she's been trying to get me to admit that I was spec ops since before we left," Alex sighed and rolled her glass between her hands, looking up out of the viewport through the distortion of the glass. 

"And you've been deflecting her questions like a good soldier," Lucy said without question.

"Yeah, but then the pirates attacked. A couple of them beamed aboard." Alex sighed a long sigh. 

"I didn't see any prisoners. I assume they're dead now?" Lucy raised an eyebrow, voice holding no judgment, and Alex loved her for it. 

Alex nodded sharply. "Maggie thinks we could have apprehended one of them. I disagree."

"Maggie's not one for violence when she thinks she can help it." Alex bristled. Lucy got up from her chair and joined Alex on the couch. She put a hand on Alex's knee. "I'm not calling your decision into question, Alex. I'm sure you did what was necessary at the time."

"I did." And she was tired of defending herself. 

Lucy took Alex's hand and squeezed it. Alex put her empty glass down and used now free hand to rub her forehead. The cold wetness felt good on her too hot skin. 

"We had a fight about it. Right before we got back to the ship." It was an understatement to say it was just a fight, but that was the best Alex could put into words. 

"Hence the death glares," Lucy said. 

"She thinks she wants to know, but she isn't prepared for the reality." Alex pulled her hand from Lucy's grip and looked down at both of them. They were covered in blood. They always would be.

"Is anyone prepared for it? Were you?" Lucy asked softly. "I wasn't. When I first figured it out. And you were halfway across the quadrant."

"I still owe you for saving me," Alex took Lucy's hand again and twined their fingers together. "And some people are more accepting than others. I was as prepared as they could make me," Alex sighed. "You know, you're not supposed to know about me either," Alex said. 

"Yeah, but I do, and Starfleet probably suspects that I do," Lucy shrugged. "So there's no point in pretending otherwise."

Alex allowed her head to drop to Lucy's shoulder. "Yeah." Alex sat there pensively. "Why didn't we work out?" she finally asked. It was something she wondered in those moments when she hadn't been absolutely furious with Lucy. 

"Because you were hurt and angry and I didn't know how to help you. Because it was a terrible time to start a relationship, and I should have known better. Because I was… I was taking advantage of the situation." 

"No, Lucy…" Alex tried to reassure her. 

"We both know it's true." There was regret in Lucy's voice now. "I should never have started something when you were in that state. It wasn't fair to either of us."

Alex sighed. "Yeah." She snuggled closer to Lucy and Lucy draped an arm over Alex's shoulder. "I've missed this. I've missed having you as my friend. As my best friend."

"Me too," Lucy said as she dropped a kiss on top of Alex's head. "Me too." They sat in silence for a long time before Lucy started to nudge Alex up with her shoulder. 

"C'mon, let's get you back to your quarters," Lucy said as she helped Alex to her feet. Alex groaned but stood. 

"I think I can make it next door by myself, Lucy." Alex started to head toward the door. She wasn't actually that drunk. That would have taken at least two or three more drinks. She just felt warm and loose.

"Yeah, but I'm going to make sure anyway." Lucy followed Alex out of the door and raised a hand in goodbye when Alex slipped into her own quarters. Lucy left her own quarters behind. There was somewhere else she wanted to be. She hoped Elizabeth was still awake.

***

"Are you going to be slightly drunk every time we do this?" Elizabeth asked. She had an arm stretched out under Lucy's head. Lucy pulled the sheets up to cover her bare torso as she chuckled.

"I hope not," she said. She rolled onto her side and slid a hand onto Elizabeth's stomach. The skin under her palm was soft and smooth, but Lucy found that she was restless. She rolled onto her side. "In fact, I think I've managed to sober up." She brought her hand up to cup one of Elizabeth's breasts, a finger lazily rubbing Elizabeth's nipple.

"Is that so?" Elizabeth nuzzled into Lucy's hair. Lucy could feel Elizabeth smiling against her, and she squeezed the skin under her hand. 

"Mmhmm." Lucy pressed her face into Elizabeth's upper chest. "I'd like to prove it to you," she said before she started kissing her way downward.

***

It was late that night when the chime on Alex door sounded twice in quick succession. She didn't want to see anyone, but it seemed like the chime wouldn't stop until she scared off whoever was on the other side. She hit the button to open her door. A second later the door slid open. As soon as Alex saw who was on the other side, her face hardened.

"I don't want to talk to you," she bit out.

"Well too bad," Maggie replied as she pushed past Alex and into her quarters. She had her PADD clutched in her hand. 

Alex stepped away from the door. "Whatever it is that you want, say it quickly."

"Care to explain this?" Maggie said as she shoved the PADD into Alex's chest. Alex grabbed for it and scrolled down the screen. It was her record. Her real one. How had Maggie even gotten a copy? Her eyes went wide. 

"So, your treasure hunt paid off. Congratulations," Alex said sarcastically. "You know now. Satisfied? Or do you need me to confess? To tell you every detail of every mission I've ever been on? Tell me, Maggie, do you want a count of every person I've ever killed?" Alex tossed the PADD down on her coffee table where it rattled against the glass. "Why the fuck does it matter so much to you?"

"Because I don't like being lied to, and that's all you've done since you came on board this ship."

"And you don't think it was for a good reason? Well, you don't get to make that call. This information doesn't have a level 10 classification to provide you with the opportunity to test out your investigative skills. You knowing who I am is dangerous for you and it's dangerous for me." Alex was on the verge of yelling.

"Do you think that if our enemies found out that you know who a member of a spec ops team is they'd stop at politely asking for my name? Do you know how long it would be before you gave me up?" Alex got in Maggie's face. 

Maggie tried to interject but Alex didn't let her.

"It would be _minutes_. And then I'm the one being tortured to give up the names of every person I've ever served with." Alex turned and walked a step away before she faced Maggie again. 

"Alex, I…" Maggie tried again. 

"No. You don't get to talk. You aren't the aggrieved party here. The only thing you've done since you met me was question who I am. Well, now you know. You're lucky I'm not going to report this to J'onn and have you arrested."

Maggie's eyes went wide at the threat. 

"What? What did you think the consequences of this would be, Maggie? This isn't just a game. You either broke into highly classified files or you found someone else to do it." Alex was livid, "Either way, if J'onn finds out, if _anyone_ finds out, your career is over and you end up in a prison colony for stealing classified documents. So you need to forget you ever saw that," Alex said as she pointed toward the PADD. "Forget it. Forget you ever knew me, and get the fuck out of my quarters."

End Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is now officially the longest thing I've ever written. I've gotten so many awesome comments so far too! They really inspire me to keep working even when the writing gets hard.


	11. Part III: Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is so short. It's been giving me fits and I've already changed the plot three times. It was time to just put it out into the world before I drove myself crazy.

Kara had only been in her quarters for a few minutes, and she was due back on the bridge in half an hour, when her door chime went off. It was curious because she didn't think she had plans with anyone. She would have remembered. In fact, she had plans with Lena to have one last chat over subspace. She furrowed her brow as she said "enter," and waited for the door to slide open. 

She was so confused she almost didn't recognize her visitor at first. "Lena?" she said as she got up and headed toward the door in wonder. "What are you doing here? Does J'onn know? You aren't really stowing away are you?" As soon as she reached Lena, she threw herself into the other woman's arms. They'd been at warp for at least a few hours. There was no conceivable reason for Lena to be showing up in her quarters. 

Lena laughed as she caught Kara. "It just so happens that my presence has been requested on Earth and a little birdie told me you might be going in that direction." She kissed Kara with enthusiasm. Kara kissed her back. If there had been a yellow sun nearby, she would have floated. As it was, she just held Lean closer.

"Lena, how long have you known?" Kara stood in the circle of Lena's arms. She couldn't believe that Lena was in front of her. They hadn't even made plans to see each other again yet, and there she was. Right in front of her. It was like a dream. 

"I found out just before you left. J'onn was very nice to offer the Excelsior's services really." Lena beamed at Kara. She was going to get to have Lena with her for the entire trip back to Earth.

"This is amazing," Kara hugged Lena even more tightly and started peppering her face with kisses. "I can't believe you didn't tell me you were coming." She pulled back and lightly pushed Lena's shoulder. Lena didn't move much because she still had her arms wrapped around Kara. 

"I wanted it to be a surprise." Lena's smile somehow got even bigger. 

"Well, it's a very good surprise." Kara kissed Lena again and held her close. She completely forgot what she had come to her quarters to do.

***

Alex sat in the quiet of her lab looking over the data she had collected out in the Cassian system. It wasn't as much as she would have liked due to the interruption of the pirates, but it was more than enough to keep her busy for quite awhile. Long enough for her life to settle back into its normal routine before she had to think about what to do next. She couldn't actually hang out in a Starfleet lab forever. Eventually, someone, even if it wasn't Cat Grant, would try to force her back into space. What would she do then?

Alex sighed. Really, she could analyze her data from anywhere on the ship, but she liked stillness of her lab. She frowned when it was disrupted by the sound of the door opening. She looked up expecting J'onn or Winn or even Kara. It was none of them. She scowled when she saw it was Maggie instead. 

"I thought I told you--" she started before Maggie broke in. Alex didn't appreciate the interruption. 

"The captain wants you on the bridge," Maggie bit out. Her hands were balled into fists, her knuckles white with the strain. 

"The captain can use the com system," Alex shot back. Why was he having Maggie deliver his message? Had Lucy told him about their fight? Was he meddling again? 

"Well, he sent me instead," Maggie said. She glared back at Alex.

"Tell him I'll be there in a minute." If this was how J'onn wanted to play it, she would play right back. 

"I'm not your messenger, Danvers. Tell him yourself." Maggie turned on her heel and walked out.

***

Alex was unbelievable. It was one thing for her to carry a message from the captain when she was already going to that part of the ship. It was another entirely for Alex to think that she would carry one back, and she doubted that someone who didn't want to be in a uniform anyway would write her up for insubordination. Lucy was the first officer again. There was no reason for her to follow Alex's orders. Maggie wanted to punch something, preferably Alex's face, but she'd take anything in that moment.

Why had Maggie been down near the science lab anyway? She was supposed to be doing something, but all she wanted to do was go back to the lab and give Alex a piece of her mind. What right did Alex have to tell _her_ to fuck off. If anything, that should have been Maggie's line. Alex was the one who lied about everything. Alex was the one who fucked her just to get her to stop thinking about those lies. That was what had been happening on the runabout, right? Maggie wanted to scream. She wanted to throw something. Why the fuck was she in that corridor?

She was ready to march to the bridge when the armory caught her sight and she took a breath. That's what it was. She was supposed to be double checking the last inventory her crew had done. Maggie slapped the button to let herself in and stepped inside. Maybe this would calm her down.

***

Alex tried to use the hum of the turbolift calm her as she ascended to the bridge. She hadn't lied when she said she never wanted to see Maggie again. Maggie had just put both of them in danger to do nothing more than prove a point. It was reckless and it was stupid and Alex wanted to march back down and tell Maggie that again. Maggie just didn't understand. She wouldn't have anyone else tortured to get to her.

Before she could do something so rash, the ship jolted and the turbolift stopped. Lucy's voice saying, "battle stations," over the com system cut through the air. Alex needed to get out of the turbolift.

***

J'onn was already halfway through the door from his ready room when Lucy's, "Battlestations. Captain to the bridge," came over the com system. He stumbled onto the bridge as the ship shuddered.

"Report!" J'onn said as he looked up at the viewscreen. There was a ship behind them shooting phaser bolts. Each time one connected, the ship rocked again. What the hell was going on? There was time to figure that out later. Right now, he needed to act. "Take us out of warp. Shields up. Charge the phasers." J'onn ordered. Kara tapped on her console and seconds later they back in regular space. The ship following them appeared hot on their heels. 

"Hail them, Vasquez," J'onn shouted out over the sound of the klaxons. Another phaser bolt hit, then another. J'onn tried to ride out the pitching of the deck under his feet but was only partially successful. He stumbled forward, but at least he didn't land on his ass. 

"No response, Captain," she replied. The ship shuddered again. If only he could find out what the people in the other side wanted, maybe he could diffuse the situation. That wasn't possible if they couldn't even get a channel open. 

J'onn threw himself into his chair rather than stumble again. "Return fire," he said over his shoulder to the tactical officer who was currently taking Maggie's place. He hated that he didn't have his best officers on the bridge, but there was no helping it now. He had to make due with what he had. 

He got a smart, "yes, sir," in response.

***

Lena was in her quarters when the klaxons started going off. What was she supposed to do? She'd gotten a brief safety lecture before she has boarded her first Starfleet starship, but that was ages ago. Lena tried to remember, but she didn't have any idea what her response was supposed to be in this sort of situation. She heard running in the corridor and went to poke her head out. The door wouldn't open. Well, she guessed that answered her question. She'd just stay put.

***

Alex pried the turbo lift doors open. She had only been in the turbolift for a second, and now she was stuck between decks. The ship shuddered again. A panel inside the turbolift exploded. Alex tried to think. She looked out to see which decks she was stuck between. Which deck was going to be more useful? One of the armories was located on the deck below. She would head that way, secure the armory, then figure out what to do.

She wedged her fingers between the outer turbolift doors and pulled them apart as hard as she could. They barely moved. She tried again. Suddenly the doors started to move and she saw another set of hands. With one final effort, they got the door open. As soon as they did, Alex slithered through the opening and landed on her feet. She looked up to see her rescuer. Maggie. Of course, it was Maggie. 

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Alex shouted as the ship jolted. She barely kept her feet. Her earlier anger was gone in the face of the emergency. A panel exploded behind them.

"No clue," Maggie said back as she cringed away from the explosion. 

"C'mon," Alex grabbed Maggie's upper arm. "This way," she said as she pulled Maggie after her. To her credit, Maggie didn't resist.

***

"Shields are down to 63 percent, Captain," Vasquez shouted. Another phaser bolt connected. A look of frustration bled across J'onn's face. "51 percent."

"Fuck, who are these people?" Lucy asked as she looked at her own panel surveying the ship. Deck 14 had lost power and Deck 12 wasn't doing much better. 

"They look like pirates," the tactical officer answered. Another panel blew. The entire bridge was filling with steam. J'onn winced. Pirates were trouble. They wouldn't want to negotiate. They just wanted the ship. 

"Fuck," Lucy said again. She looked between her panel and the viewscreen, barely anticipating when the next phaser bolt would hit. There own phasers didn't seem to be putting much of a dent in the other ship's shields. 

"Captain, our shields are falling," Vasquez shouted over the din. Her hands flew over her panel as she tried to keep them up. 

"I thought you said--" J'onn replied. Vasquez cut him off. 

"They're not failing. Someone is lowering them," Vasquez said. "I can't counter them. They have the security codes. She looked up at J'onn with an expression as close to panic as she ever got.

***

Elizabeth took a deep breath as she tapped at the panel, imputing the security codes in the correct order. Casualties would be arriving soon, but she had no plans to be in the sickbay when they arrived. She was going to be needed elsewhere. The shields were almost down and then the real plan could commence. She and her men were going to take this ship, and once they delivered it to their buyers, she would be set for life.

***

"Damn it," J'onn said. The bridge crew were already pulling out their phasers, preparing for a shootout on the bridge. Kara was doing her best to get them out of transporter range, but they were too close and the normally nimble ship was too slow. The pirates zipped closer with every maneuver she made.

"Vasquez, Lane, get out of here." J'onn pulled out his phaser as he motioned toward the Jefferies tube access on the bridge. They needed to split up the command staff or it wouldn't be long before his plan unraveled. Vasquez was simply the closest person to the Jefferies tube hatch. 

"Sir?" Vasquez asked, but she was already imputing the code to open the hatch. 

"Captain!" Lucy said indignantly. She didn't move from her spot. J'onn glared at her, trying to spur her into action. 

"Go now," J'onn ordered. He grabbed Lucy by her sleeve and hauled her up. "There isn't going to be anything you can do from up here." He pushed her toward Vasquez. 

Without questioning J'onn again, Vasquez pulled open the Jefferies tube hatch and slid in. Lucy followed her and closed the hatch behind her. As far as the pirates knew, there hadn't been a full complement of bridge officers there to begin with. 

As soon as they were gone, J'onn tapped a few buttons on his panel and locked down the ship. There was no way the pirates were getting anywhere without the command codes and they would need both him and Lucy to access them.

***

Maggie and Alex were just to the armory when the whine of a transporter sounded behind them. They both slid inside and Alex peered around the door. Pirates. From the looks of it, the same ones they had fought on the runabout. This time it was significantly more than two. Alex ducked back inside. "We need to lock down this room," she said.

"What?" Maggie replied. "And be stuck in here while they take over the ship?"

"Trust me," Alex bit out. "Do you really want them to have access to our weapons?" Alex was already tapping the lockdown sequence into the door panel. "And last time I check, I outrank you, so maybe you should follow my orders," Alex grumbled. She got the door locked just as a hand came down on the outer panel. The door beeped at whoever was on the other side but it didn't open. The door beeped again. There was a loud thump as if someone was kicking the door.

"So now what, _Commander Danvers_?" Maggie asked sarcastically.

"Now, we get out of here." Alex grabbed a phaser rifle and handed the second one to Maggie. She also grabbed two regular phasers and a tricorder. 

"And how do you propose we do that? We're surrounded by force fields and don't have access to a transporter."

Alex started tapping away at a panel in the wall. There was a tiny grin on her face. "You don't know all of my secrets, Sawyer. This'll only work for about 30 seconds, so get that hatch open and be ready to go." 

Maggie looked at Alex warily but did as she was told. 

"And in three, two, go!" Maggie dived into the Jefferies tube and Alex slid in behind her. There was a crack and a pop in the room as it filled with smoke, but the smoke didn't follow them. The force field was back up.


	12. Chapter 12

"That was a nifty trick," Maggie said as she got to a junction in the Jefferies tube and took a seat. There wasn't much room for them, but they needed to figure out a plan, and at least here they could face each other.

"Well, it's a trick that only works once, so hopefully we won't need it again," Alex replied. It was warm in the Jefferies tube and Alex unfastened her jacket though she didn't take it off. She did, however, pull the pips off of her uniform. She pulled her communicator off too. "Makes it harder for them to identify us. There are lots of petty officers on this ship, there's only one lieutenant commander." Maggie followed her lead. 

Just then, they heard clanging in the tube with them. They both quickly had their phaser rifles up and pointed in the direction of the noises. Alex only waited for a second to pull her trigger when a head peaked around a bend. It was enough for her to recognize Vasquez and hold her fire. 

"Ensign, it's good to see you," Alex said. Alex let out a small breath. The more competent people crawling around in the Jefferies tubes, the better chance they had of retaking the ship. Vasquez was more than competent.

"Commander Lane is with me, ma'am." Lucy followed Vasquez around the bend and nodded at Alex and Maggie. Lucy's presence was even better. 

"It's good to see you, Alex, Maggie." Lucy took a seat next to Alex. "I was hoping you were floating around somewhere." 

"Just like a bad penny," Alex replied sardonically. Where else would she be? Stuck in a science lab wasn't the right answer. Even if she wasn't on a mission, she would be standing by and doing nothing. 

"Where were you headed?" Lucy asked. 

"Sensor panel a section that way," Alex pointed. "We didn't know what was going on. It seemed like the quickest way to find out." She hadn't informed Maggie of that plan, but it was obvious enough. 

"Well, now you don't have to. We've been boarded by a band of pirates. J'onn's probably locked out the command codes by now. We're headed towards the weapons bay, hoping that the pirates' ship has it's shields down. If we can get a couple of photon torpedos out of here, we can take out their ship," Lucy briefed them. Vasquez kept her eyes focused on the end of the corridor, keeping watch while the other officers talked. 

"How did the pirates even get onboard?" Maggie asked. 

"Someone dropped our shields," Lucy muttered. She looked like she wanted to hit something.

Alex looked thoughtful. 

"So we've got a traitor on board," Maggie replied. No shit. Just like they suspected, though Starfleet Intelligence hadn't thought about the possibility of pirates. Alex didn't appreciate the blind spot. It would have been good to know that the pirates they ran into in the Cassian system were looking for a bigger target. 

"Yeah. Alex, what are you thinking?" Lucy said. Alex had a far-off look in her eye. 

"I'm thinking about who would have access to both the codes and the equipment necessary to do that." She didn't like the answer she was coming up with. If someone was dedicated, almost anyone on board the ship could have done it. Some people had easier access than others though. 

"No one should have access to the codes," Lucy said. 

"Vasquez, get down to that sensor panel and see what the current situation is," Alex said. She wasn't letting someone else find out she was spec ops unnecessarily. Better to get Vasquez out of the way. A status update would be useful too. 

Vasquez looked at them questioningly but did as she was told. 

"What's up, Alex?" Lucy asked. Maggie looked intrigued.

"According to Starfleet Intelligence, there was a data breach a few weeks ago. Some security codes got stolen. They haven't had time to issue new ones yet. They narrowed this origin point down to three places. One of those places they tracked it back to was the Excelsior." Alex didn't like having to tell them that much, but there was no good way forward without bringing them in.

"You're still working for Starfleet Intelligence?" Lucy asked. Maggie glared. Alex stood up to the glare. Maggie didn't get to judge her. 

"No. Well, yes. Look, you never _stop_ working for Starfleet Intelligence. I came out here to do scientific research. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got drafted. I got a message about just after we left spacedock." And she had been pissed. Even now her hands balled into fists. They were supposed to be leaving her alone, not sending her out on missions without any preparation, without even a proper briefing. 

"And you didn't tell me?" Lucy asked. She sounded resigned rather than hurt. 

"They didn't know who onboard might be behind the breach. I had orders not to tell anyone." They were an intelligence organization. They kept secrets. It was the price of doing their job.

"So why are you telling us now?" Maggie asked suspiciously. 

"Because you've been with me the entire time and I trust Lucy," Alex answered. Maggie hadn't had the opportunity to lower the shields and Lucy wouldn't do it. She had enough faith in Lucy to be certain of that. 

"So what's the plan?" Maggie asked. "There is a plan, right?"

"I am the plan," Alex responded. "They haven't had time to get anyone else onboard. I'm supposed to report in an hour, and when I don't, they'll send someone out here, but there's no telling how long that'll take. We need to get the ship back." Particularly since it could take days before a ship could reach them and who knew where they would be by then. They needed to stop the pirates before they got the warp drive online. They couldn't do that without Lucy and her command codes. 

"Agreed," Lucy said. 

"So what do we do?" Maggie asked, not sure if she should be looking to Alex or Lucy for her orders. 

Alex already had a plan coming together in her mind. She looked at Lucy. 

"This is your area of expertise," Lucy deferred. "What do we do?" 

"Maggie and I should get to the weapons bay. It's easier to catch us if we're headed somewhere specific, and we don't want them to find you," She said to Lucy. "You're right, taking out the other ship makes everything a lot easier. If J'onn has locked everything down, then they'll need you," Alex turned to Lucy, "to unlock it. You need to keep moving and not get caught. And if you can, make their lives a living hell while you're at it. Once Maggie and I are finished in the weapons bay, we're going to go pirate hunting and see if we can't find the person responsible for dropping the shields." Alex pulled out one of the phasers and unslung her phaser rifle from her shoulder. She handed both over to Lucy. 

"I don't like that I'm not doing anything other than running away," Lucy said. 

Alex look apologetic. "Sometimes, that's the only thing you can do." She clasped Lucy's shoulder and squeezed it. 

There was another clanging in the Jefferies tube. Everyone acted at once to get into a defensible position. When a pirate came around the corner, he was instantly picked off. They heard the scramble of someone else and "They're down here," shouted into a communicator. There was no good way to get to the second pirate. The three of them shared a look and broke apart, Alex and Maggie going to the left and Lucy heading toward the right to grab Vasquez. By the time the second pirate made it to their position, there was no sign of either of the teams.

***

The fight on the bridge was a short one. They were quickly overtaken by the pirates. The tactical officer was unconscious, maybe dead, leaving J'onn and Kara alone. They had had no choice but to surrender. Right now, they were locked in J'onn's ready room. Kara was sitting on J'onn's couch as she tried to contain her restlessness while J'onn leaned against the edge of his desk.

"Don't worry, Lieutenant," J'onn broke the silence, "Lucy and Vasquez are out there right now and if I know her, so is your sister. They'll find a way to get us out of here." Kara tried to be reassured by J'onn's words, but it wasn't working. She always knew this kind of thing was possible, had prepared for it, even, but that didn't make the reality any less daunting. 

"Yes, sir," she said as she sat on her hands. She just wanted to _do_ something. It wasn't like her to just sit and wait. It was part of why she was such a good pilot. She was always looking for the next move. 

The door to the ready room opened and Elizabeth Chanson, no longer in uniform, walked in. Her signature wavy hair was tied back and she moved with more purpose than she had as a doctor. _Dr. Chanson_ was with the pirates? Kara couldn't believe it. 

"Elizabeth," J'onn drawled. "Here to tend to our wounds," J'onn did have a nasty cut on his forehead, "or do you have some other agenda?" Kara stayed where she was, watching the situation and hoping for some sort of advantage, but two pirates who followed Dr. Chanson in had disruptors pointed directly at her and J'onn. Overpowering them seemed unlikely. 

"No, I'm not here as your doctor, I'm afraid." She crossed her arms and glowered. "You seem to have locked me out of the command systems." 

J'onn smiled and crossed his arms. "Yes. Yes, I did." 

"Unlock them," Elizabeth demanded. 

"You know I can't do that." J'onn replied. He almost looked smug. Kara wondered why he was antagonizing their captors. 

"Fine. But we will find her, and when we do, you won't have a choice." Elizabeth fumed as she turned on her heel and stalked out of the ready room.

***

Alex took the lead as she and Maggie started crawling again. The weapons bay was down several decks, but the nearest ladder was several sections away. The more they crawled, the hotter it got.

"Fuck this," Alex grumbled. She stopped at the next intersection of tubes and pulled her jacket and turtleneck off. She was left in nothing but her jumpsuit of black pants and tank top. Even though she had seen Alex's arms before, Maggie couldn't stop herself from staring now that they were covered in a light sheen of sweat. She was still furious with Alex, but she couldn't think about that now. 

"Oh thank God," Maggie said and she pulled off her own uniform pieces. 

"You know, we really shouldn't just leave these here. It'll just tell the pirates that we were here." Alex said.

Maggie sighed. Of course, they'd have to carry them around. Still, it was better than wearing the extra layers. Alex shrugged and tied the layers around her waist. Maggie followed her lead. 

"So, who do you think is behind this?" Maggie asked as they started crawling again. 

"I don't know," Alex replied. She kept her eyes focused in front of them, but Maggie didn't expect anything different. 

"Yeah, but you have some suspicions." Maggie winced as her hand hit the grated floor of the access tube the wrong way. They really needed to put some padding down on the things. 

"Well, the first suspect on my list would be you." With that, Alex did look over her shoulder and back at Maggie.

"Me? Why's that?" Maggie tried to keep her voice calm but couldn't help the indignation that colored it. 

"Most people don't go looking for classified information for fun. That you found it makes you even more suspicious." Maggie pursed her lips. She guessed she could see where Alex was coming from. 

"But you said it couldn't be me. And if it was, why wouldn't I have shot you in the back already?" Maggie asked. 

"Like I said, you were with me the entire time, and if you were going to shoot me in the back, you'd have tried it already." Alex's logic was sound, and she wasn't the saboteur. She knew that even if Alex might have her doubts. 

"So who's next on your list?" Maggie asked again. There was no controlling her curiosity, even when it provided her with answers she didn't want.

"Shit." Alex stopped crawling. 

"What is it?" Maggie tried to see around Alex but couldn't. 

"Debris blocking the way," Alex said. "We're going to have to find a way around.

***

Lucy tried to go faster, but there was only so fast you could crawl. There was a pirate on their tail and they needed to get out of the Jefferies tube before he caught up.

"C'mon," she said to Vasquez. "We're getting out of here." She reached the end of the corridor and pushed the hatch open. She hoped there wasn't a pirate standing on the other side. She got lucky but only for a minute. The disruptor bolt only just missed her as she reached around to help Vasquez through the hatch. As soon as Vasquez was out, she fired back, then they turned and ran in the opposite direction.

***

"Your, 'other way around,' involves going through a deck without life support or gravity?" Maggie asked incredulously.

"Yes." Alex was completely calm. She might as well been asking Maggie to walk through a meadow on Earth. 

"There a force fields up. How are we even going to get in there, let alone out again?" This was crazy. Alex was crazy. 

"I can get us in and out. You just need to follow me and hold your breath." Alex looked determined. 

"This is the only way to get there?" Maggie really, really didn't like this plan. 

"It's the fastest and the one where we're least likely to run into the pirates." Alex made it seem so rational. Was this was being in spec ops was like? Running through missions with a death wish?

"Fine. But we better not die." Maggie steeled herself to do the impossible.

***

Lena banged on her door again. She hated not knowing what was going on. She hated that she couldn't do anything about it. She hated that she couldn't help. Maybe if she could just get out of her quarters, she could help, damn it.

***

Maggie stood behind Alex and took several deep breaths. It was going to be fine. Alex was going to get them through this. Alex was taking deep breaths too as she got ready to open the door. Alex looked over her shoulder at Maggie and keyed in the safety override. The door opened just wide enough for them to squeeze through.

Alex grabbed Maggie's sleeve and suddenly they were in and floating. Maggie's lungs were already burning but Alex kept them steadily moving forward. They crossed the hallway and went down several doors before Alex found the one she wanted. Maggie wanted nothing more than to breathe. Dark spots started floating across her vision. The panel by the door beeped. It didn't open. 

Alex tried again. Another beep. Another closed door. Maggie couldn't hold her breath any longer. She exhaled and everything went black.

***

Maggie gulped in a huge breath as her eyes flew open. "Wha-?"

"You passed out." Alex looked down at the tricorder she had pointed at Maggie. "You should be fine though." Alex was really glad that Maggie was fine. She hadn't been entirely sure that her idea would work, but it had and that was all that was important. That was what she had learned working in spec ops: get the mission done however you have to do it. Still, she was happy not to be dead. She had worried for a few seconds when the door wouldn't open the first time. 

"I…" Maggie shook her head. "I thought you said it was going to be fine." 

"And it was. We're both still here, aren't we?" Alex monitored Maggie for another few moments before she put the tricorder away. She sighed. "Unfortunately, it's back into the Jefferies tubes." She really didn't like having to crawl around in them, but it was the safest place for them to be. 

"You never answered my question before," Maggie said as she went back through the hatch and into the Jefferies tube. Alex followed her this time. "About who you suspect."

"I think I've got it narrowed down to two people," Alex said. She really didn't like either of her answers. "It's either Vasquez, Dr. Chanson, or both of them working together. 

"But you sent Vasquez off with Lucy." Maggie looked back over her shoulder and stopped crawling.

"Lucy can take care of herself," Alex said. And Lucy was much more likely to know if Vasquez was acting out of character than she or Maggie were. Whatever situation Lucy might have gotten herself into, she could get out again. And they were finally at the main weapons bay.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added this and the chapter before it at the same time so make sure you've read both.
> 
> trigger warning for torture
> 
> Also, Vintage_Wine drew some awesome fanart of Alex and Maggie in their uniforms and everyone should go check it out and tell them how awesome they are: https://calypsocaine.tumblr.com/post/174829485752/lesbians-in-space-by-vintagewine-inspired-by
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://calypsocaine.tumblr.com/post/174829485752/lesbians-in-space-by-vintagewine-inspired-by)

"Now what?" Maggie asked as she looked down at the bay. They were high enough up that the drop wouldn't be fun, but it was survivable. "We need the command codes to launch the photon torpedos and something tells me even you don't have those." Maggie looked around as if that might impart some wisdom. 

"I don't. But we can set up the torpedos, program the targeting system, and then wedge open the bay doors." Once again, Alex made it sound like no big deal.

"And get sucked out into space," Maggie added. 

"That is a risk, yes. Which is why I'm going down there and you're staying here." Alex leaned out of the hatch as if she were already planning her jump. 

"What? Are you crazy? You're not going down there alone. You're not going down there at all if that's your plan." There was no way Maggie was letting her go on a suicide mission. 

"Yes, I am. There's no sense in risking both of our lives when we don't have to." Alex bit her lip and looked resigned. 

"So you've just decided that it's going to be you?" Maggie puffed up her chest in incredulity. She barred Alex's way with her arm.

"I'm the senior officer and those are my orders." Alex glared at Maggie. Maggie just glared back. She wasn't letting Alex go on a suicide mission if she could help it.

"There's no one to write me up for disobeying them if you're dead." And if she did get written up, it would mean Alex was alive and that would be okay.

"It has to be me. I've been living on borrowed time anyway."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Maggie caught Alex's eyes with her own. 

"It means I should have died two years ago, but I didn't. Do you really want to know what happened on Korlox IV? My whole team died. Every single one of them. They all died," Alex said emphatically.

*

_Two and a half years ago_

 _"You've got this," Bryce slapped Alex on the shoulder hard as they stepped onto the transporter platform._ Alex rocked forward under the blow, glad for the confidence in her abilities as a leader. Bryce was a big man, the biggest on their mission, but also her second in command. They'd been training together for months. They knew each other so well they might as well have been telepaths. The whole team was like that: Bryce, Adrian, Sorvok, and Gunther. She was the only officer. The rest were all NCOs.

"Fuck yeah, I do," Alex replied. She aimed a punch at Bryce's side but she let it skid off of his body armor. It wouldn't do to have bruised knuckles already. The rest of the team thwacked her shoulders as well. It was a pre-mission ritual. The team, save Sorvok, was nothing if not superstitious. She took one last glance at the nearest panel to make sure the ship wasn't going anywhere while they were gone. It wasn't. She nodded her head, tightened her gloves, and said, "Let's go," as she triggered the transporter beam.

*

_"Fall back! Fall back!" Alex yelled at the top of her lungs._ There were already Starfleet troops on the planet, but Alex and her team had beamed in behind enemy lines to collect a data crystal. They'd been stuck in the middle of an ambush since they beamed down. It had been a trap and she had fallen into it. The rogue Jem'hadar had somehow known they were coming and now there was nothing but a ridge between them and the steadily advancing forces.

The team scrambled over it and tried to take up good defensive positions. Alex looked around and found that the clearing held little in the way of cover. 

"What'd we do now?" They didn't use ranks while on a mission. No one wanted the enemy to have any more information than they already did. 

Alex looked around again for anything they could use to their advantage. Nothing. She gritted her teeth and spat out, "now we surrender," and hope they don't shoot us on sight went unspoken. She looked at her men one last time, tossed her phaser rifle down, and stood with her hands up. No one knew they were there. Getting rescued wasn't an option. Unless they found a way out, she had just signed their death warrants.

*

_The humidity got worse as they were marched further and further into the jungle._ It seeped into her lungs making it harder and harder to breathe. The rest of the team marched in front of her. A camp, the very one they had been looking for, faded in from the background. Alex took a deep breath as they passed through the edge of the camp. She tried to surreptitiously observe as much as she could and knew the rest of the team was doing the same. Between the five of them, they'd have a good idea of everything going on in the camp and enough of a map to lead them out when they escaped.

The team was lead into a long metal tube, Sorvok was the only one of them who didn't have to duck through the doorway, and into individual containment cells. The heat was somehow more oppressive. Fights to the death against Jem'hadar soldiers. That's what the Jem'hadar did with their prisoners. At least they knew what to expect, and weapons or not, they were all deadly. They would last long enough to escape their prison. Alex wasn't optimistic, but it could have been worse.

*

_Gunther wasn't even put into a cell_. They dragged him out of the tube as soon as they locked up the team. Alex worried. There was no point to her worry. The only thing they could do was wait.

Time passed. Too much time for a simple fight. Alex's worry increased. These were her men. She was responsible for them. The waiting dragged on. A sound ricocheted around the camp. It could have been a man. It could have been a bird. It was so faint there was no way to tell. The door to the pod opened. 

They dragged Gunther in with their hands under his armpits and unceremoniously tossed him into the empty cell across from Alex. They grabbed Adrian next. 

Gunther made a sound somewhere between a groan and a whimper as he rolled over onto his back. He pushed himself into a seated position, propped up against one of the walls, cradling a broken arm. "Not a fight," he managed to rasp out before he fell unconscious. He was dead before they brought Adrian back.

*

_After that, their captors were more careful._ They didn't want to kill them then, but each member of the team came back looking worse than the one before. Sorvok, particularly, looked bad, green blood dripping from her mouth as they returned her to her cell. Alex steeled herself as she waited for her turn.

It never came.

*

_Medics came in that night had healed some of the worst of the team's injuries._ The next day, the cycle repeated. And the next day, it repeated again. And again. And again.

Alex lost track of the days. She lost track of the number of times each of her teammates was taken away and tortured. She lost track of the number of times she was left unscathed. She didn't understand. 

Finally, finally, they came for her. They took her to a small, blood-stained room and shoved her into a chair. There were two of them and a Vorta. She was ready. She could survive whatever they did to her. She was strong. 

"Tell us what we need to know, and we'll let them go," the Vorta said. Alex merely stared ahead. "You're their commanding officer. You can save them. Tell us what we want to know and we'll let them go." Realization slowly dawned on Alex. Bile rose up in her throat. Were they even interrogating the rest of the team, or were they just beating them, just torturing them? All to get to her. She didn't know how they knew she was an officer, but it didn't matter. They knew and that was enough. Still, she couldn't give them what they wanted. She sat in stony silence. Eventually, they took her back to her cell. 

The next day, Sorvok was dead.

*

_"Are you going to watch them all die?"_

Silence.

*

_Too soon, it was her and it was Bryce._ Alone together. She knew they wouldn't kill him. He was the only leverage they had left. But the beatings got worse. He would come back with broken legs that the medics would heal only to have them broken again the next day.

*

_"Tell us what we want to know"_

Alex opened her mouth, stayed that way for a long, long moment. She closed it again. She couldn't. She couldn't give in.

*

_The whole pod rocked._ From where he was lying, Bryce moaned. Alex braced a hand against the wall. She didn't know what was happening, but something had changed. She heard phaser fire. She smelled ozone in the air. The pod rocked again. Then it was quiet. Their captors didn't reappear. The medics didn't appear that night. The soldiers didn't appear the next morning. It was quiet.

*

The door opened and with the last of her energy, Alex looked up. She was succumbing to dehydration. She knew she was going to die. She wasn't sure if Bryce was already dead. He probably was. Suddenly people in Starfleet uniforms were pointing phaser rifles and flashlights in their direction.

"We have prisoners," someone yelled out, then the pod was swarming with bodies. Rescue. Alex passed out.

***

"I woke up in sickbay on the Defiant the next day. I was dehydrated, but otherwise, I was fine. Bryce died. He was alive when they beamed him up, but there wasn't anything they could do for him." Alex finally focused on Maggie again. Her eyes were clear.

"They released me from sickbay, sent me back to Earth to be debriefed and to go to counseling. I blew off most of the counseling. I tried to desert, but Lucy stopped me. I made… a lot of bad decisions. J'onn… J'onn saved me." It seemed like once Alex started talking, she wasn't going to stop. "He made me go to those counseling appointments. He made me eat. He made me stop drinking. He made me something like alive again. After that… I couldn't go back." 

Maggie was glad she was sitting down. The Jefferies tube felt even more claustrophobic than normal. "I…" There was nothing she could say. She couldn't even fathom a reply that would do Alex's story justice. 

"That's what happened on Korlox IV. I killed four people. Have I satisfied your curiosity?" Alex asked softly. "Do you understand now why I don't want anyone else tortured to get to me? I didn't lie to you because I like lying. It's part of the job description." 

Maggie took a deep breath and swallowed the bile that had risen up in her throat. "Yeah." She couldn't meet Alex's eyes. "Yeah, I understand. But I don't understand why you feel the need to sacrifice yourself now. There has to be another way." 

"If there is, I can't think of one." Alex looked past Maggie and into the weapons bay. Then she jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we finally get some answers


	14. Chapter 14

"Alex, stop being an idiot. If we do this, we do it together." Maggie knew there was no way back to the ledge once she was in the weapons bay. She jumped anyway.

***

Kara bit her lower lip as she curled up further into J'onn's couch. Dr. Chanson had left them alone for now, but that did nothing to dissipate the tension in the ready room. J'onn seemed oddly at ease with everything that was happening. Kara didn't understand it. All she could do was worry.

Alex was somewhere out there. Maybe she was trapped. Maybe she was taking on the entire boarding party by herself. There was no way for Kara to know. And Lena… The best that Kara could hope for was that Lena was stuck in her rooms and the pirates didn't know that an ambassador was on board. She was a much more valuable hostage than any Starfleet officer, than even a ship full of Starfleet personnel. Kara opened her mouth to say something, but there was nothing to say.

***

It had not been Lucy's intention to get into a running firefight with a bunch of the pirates. She had wanted to move from one set of Jefferies tubes to another where she and Vasquez could make their way to the engine room to disable the warp core. Better to be dead in the water than let the pirates take them wherever they wanted if they managed to get past the lockout on the command codes.

Her plans hadn't exactly worked out. There was a blast of disruptor fire in front of her. Fuck. The pirates had them surrounded. Still, Lucy wasn't ready to give up. She grabbed Vasquez and pulled her down a third hallway running as fast as they could. Once she thought she was as far away from the pirates as she was going to get, she slid to a stop in front of one of the few doors in the corridor. She punched in her codes to override the lockdown. The doors slid open, and Lucy and Vasquez ducked inside just as the pirates came into sight.

***

Elizabeth sat in the captain's chair on the bridge and fumed. This was not how the plan was supposed to go. Taking over the Excelsior was supposed to be easier than this. She slammed the side of her fist down on the chair arm. Now she was stuck with a ship that wouldn't obey her commands and had a bunch of rats crawling around in it that they couldn't seem to catch. She knew she should have contained Lucy before they had started the assault. Elizabeth was supposed to have been on the bridge when the attack began to do just that, but her second in command had gotten antsy. Then everything had been happening too fast.

A flicker on the viewscreen caught her eye. She turned to look at it just in time to see two photon torpedos hone in on her ship and blow it to pieces.

***

"What the fuck are you doing?" Alex turned on Maggie as Maggie recovered from her jump. "I explicitly ordered you not to come down here."

Maggie grinned at Alex. "You can court-martial me later. Right now, we have a pirate ship to destroy." She doubted that court-martial would ever come, either because the plan would work or they would both be dead. 

Alex glared at Maggie. "You just can't leave anything alone, can you?" She was already pulling one of the torpedoes out from the torpedo tube where she could reprogram it. 

"Really? This is my job too, Alex." Maggie helped haul the torpedo back. Alex popped the outer casing off of the control panel and started working on reprogramming it. "There has to be another way. You just can't see it through your fucking death wish."

Alex glared at Maggie as the torpedo beeped at them and Alex had to focus on it. Maggie looked around trying to find anything that might keep them in the bay when they opened the doors into space. They just needed time to re-pressurize the bay. In Maggie's estimation, they could do it. They just had to stop themselves from getting blown out into space with the torpedos. Maggie looked around. There had to be something. 

"We don't need the ODN cables in that wall over there, do we?" Maggie asked. She needed to double check before she started ripping the ship apart. 

"No," Alex said as she pulled over the second torpedo and started working. They would be ready for launch soon. 

"Great," Maggie said as she went over to the wall, pulled the panel down, and started ripping the fiber optic cables out.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked as she took a moment to look over at Maggie. 

"I'm making sure we don't get sucked out into space," Maggie said as she started looping the cable around her torso.

"There's no way those'll hold," Alex rolled the second torpedo into position in front of the bay doors.

"They're better than nothing. Now get over here," Maggie waved Alex over. Alex rolled her eyes but did as she was told. Maggie was right. She hadn't thought of it, and It was better than nothing. 

"Fine," Alex said as Maggie looped the cables around her. "I'll need to open the doors manually, but you should be able to close them again from the command console." 

Maggie nodded. "Got it."

"Good," Alex said as she went back over to the doors. "On my count." Alex braced herself at the handle she had to turn to open the doors. If she didn't quickly get them opened all the way, the torpedoes could hit the doors and blow up the Excelsior instead. Alex shifted her grip on the handle and braced herself. 

"Three, two, one," She said. When she got to one, she started. As soon as the doors were open just a hair, the air started rushing from the room. It was like an elephant hit Alex in the chest. The torpedoes creaked against their restraints. They had to keep the doors open long enough for them to break the restraints completely. She kept twisting the handle. She just needed it to open a little more. 

Maggie was pushed flush against the console, doing her best to hover her hand over the correct buttons on the panel, but the air kept trying to drag her forward. 

Alex managed another crank. The air was pushing her closer and closer to the open bay. Finally, the doors were open. It was a long moment before the torpedoes broke from their restraints, but they did. They tumbled out of the bay and headed toward the pirate ship. 

Then Alex's feet slipped out from under her and she was sliding toward open space. She grabbed onto the ODN fibers and prayed that they would hold. There was a jolt as they loosened. She could hear Maggie tapping at the panel. Just as Alex's foot was about to cross the threshold, a forcefield snapped into place and the rush of air stopped. Ever so slowly, they doors started to close and oxygen started to fill the room again. 

Alex took a deep breath and started to untangle herself from the cables. Alex looked back at Maggie and said, "thank you."

"No problem," Maggie replied. "Now what?"

"Now we hope that that worked, and we try to find another way out of this room."

***

"Commander Lane?" The voice came from somewhere over Lucy's shoulder. Lucy and Vasquez both spun around with their weapons raised.

"Ambassador?" Lucy took a step back in shock. Had she known that Lena was in these quarters? Apparently not.

"What's going on?" Lena asked. "I've been locked in here for hours and the computer won't respond to me."

"The ship has been taken over by pirates." Lucy jumped at a loud banging at the door. "And it seems like they've found us again." 

Suddenly, the ship rocked. Vasquez turned to look out the window and saw the remnants of a large explosion. "It seems like Commander Danvers' plan worked, ma'am." 

Lucy smiled. "That doesn't take care of the pirates at the door." There was another thump followed by a beep. Lucy quickly put together a plan in her mind. "Ambassador, I'm going to need you to go into the bedroom. Vasquez, when I say so, You're going to open the door. We can hit them as they come in."

"Of course," Lena said as she moved toward the bedroom putting another door between herself and the pirates. 

Lucy and Vasquez rearranged the room to give themselves the best possible defensive position, then Lucy nodded and Vasquez opened the door. 

The first pirate was caught off guard and stumbled forward. Vasquez easily took care of him and Lucy got the one the came in on his heels. There was a pause, then suddenly three pirates rushed through the door as quickly as possible. Lucy and Vasquez managed one each, but the third managed to slip in. Just as Lucy was turning to deal with him, another pirate breached the door. After that, everything devolved into chaos as the fight turned hand-to-hand. Lucy used her phaser rifle to strike out at a pirate then at another one. The first went down, but the second had his disruptor up. It was only a matter of seconds before she got hit, but before he could shoot, he fell forward. There was a blaster burn on his back and when Lucy looked up, Lena was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, blaster in hand. 

After that, the fight quickly came to an end. Seven of the pirates were unconscious. Lucy used what she could in the quarters to restrain them. 

"Well, Ambassador, it looks like you're coming with us," Lucy said as she ushered Lena toward the door. Lucy popped her head out, and finding no pirates, stepped out. Once the little party was free of the doors, Lucy locked the pirates in.

***

Alex tried one more time to override the door code but it was to no avail. The door just beeped at her. She hit the panel with the side of her fist. 

"We're really stuck in here, aren't we?" Maggie asked. 

"Unless you know something I don't." Alex looked at the door in frustration. Suddenly, it started to open. Alex stepped back and pulled up her phaser rifle. Then Lucy was in front of her. Lucy, Vasquez, and Ambassador Luthor. 

"Thought we might find you here," Lucy said as she motioned for Alex and Maggie to join them on the other side of the door. 

"Thanks. Did it work?" Alex asked. There was no way for them to know from inside the bay. There weren't any windows.

"Like a charm. And I'm pretty sure we've taken care of all of the pirates who aren't on the bridge," Lucy said. 

Alex let out a sigh of relief. "A little anestizine gas should take care of them. Then we can stick them all in holding cells and get this ship back." 

"Well then, let's get to sickbay and get some. Hopefully, Elizabeth is still there." Lucy said grimly.

"Something tells me she won't be."

***

J'onn's smile grew as he smelled the distinctive odor of anestizine gas hissing through the air. As a Martian, he was immune, but it would easily knock out everyone else on the bridge. He caught Kara as she slumped over and laid her carefully on his couch, then he walked through the door from his ready room to the bridge. He was right. Everyone on the bridge was unconscious. The gas started to dissipate, but it would be hours before the pirates woke up again. More than enough time to get them all restrained.

A moment later, the turbolift doors opened and out spilled Alex and Maggie, phaser rifles at the ready. 

"It's just me," J'onn said. 

"They're all down?" Alex was sweeping the bridge even as she asked. 

"All of them," J'onn looked at Alex proudly. He knew she could do it. 

Alex sighed in relief. "Good."

"I'll go get Lucy while you two clean up here," Maggie said. 

J'onn nodded his approval at the plan.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much for reading all of this.

Lucy sat in the lounge and twisted an empty glass of whiskey, the real stuff, on the table. She couldn't believe that Elizabeth was a traitor. She was sitting down in a holding cell until the ship Starfleet Intelligence showed up to take all of the prisoners into custody showed up, and Lucy really didn't need to go down and see her, but God, did she want to. She wanted to ask why. Why betray something you'd dedicated your life to? Why the Excelsior? Why her? Lucy knew that if she asked, she wouldn't get an answer, at least not a real one, not the one she was looking for. She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't notice Vasquez approaching. 

"Ma'am?" Vasquez asked as she indicated the empty seat across from Lucy. 

"Mmmm," Lucy replied. She pushed the seat out a little with her foot. She wasn't in the mood to be particularly polite just then. "Something I can do for you?" It came out less harshly than she intended. It wouldn't scare Vasquez away like she wanted. 

"Not really. I just thought you could use another drink." Vasquez slid one of the glasses she was holding across the table. "If you want to be alone, I can leave, but you looked like you might want some company."

Lucy blinked in reply. "Thank you," she said as she picked up the drink and took a sip. It wouldn't do for the first officer to get drunk in public, but oh she was tempted. One more wouldn't put her over the edge. She sighed. "Elizabeth and I had… a thing." Why was she telling Vasquez this? Vasquez didn't need to know. No one really did even though she would include the relevant parts in her mission report. None of it seemed relevant. All of it seemed relevant. That was part of the reason she was in the lounge. Maybe the alcohol would help her gain some distance. 

"Oh." Vasquez paused and seemed to collect herself. "I'm sorry to hear that." 

Lucy shrugged. "It is what it is. I just don't like being used." She hated it. She wanted to hate Elizabeth, but she didn't seem to have the energy to do it. She wanted to talk to Alex, to her friend, maybe her best friend. She couldn't that night though. Alex was too clearly exhausted to deal with Lucy's troubles along with her own just then. 

"No one does," Vasquez replied. That was it, wasn't it? Lucy hadn't been in love with Elizabeth, but she still cared, and Elizabeth had just been using her. Too bad for Elizabeth that it hadn't worked.

***

Kara paused outside of Lena's doorway. She thought she should take a moment to collect herself, but she couldn't stand waiting. She pressed the chime and was immediately granted entrance. As soon as she saw Lena, she threw herself into Lena's arms, pulling Lena into the tightest hug that she could before fiercely pressing their lips together. There was a time in J'onn's ready room when she thought she might never see Lena again and it had killed her.

Lena kissed Kara back with just as much enthusiasm, but eventually, their kiss had to end. As soon as it did, Kara started peppering Lena's face with quicker, smaller kisses. "I was so worried about you," Kara said. "The entire time the pirates were on board, I couldn't stop thinking about what might be happening to you."

For her part, Lena held Kara in her arms and let herself be kissed. "You were in so much more danger than I was," Lena said. She captured Kara's lips in another kiss. Kara never wanted to stop kissing Lena. Never. She wanted to do it for the rest of life. It felt like exactly what she was supposed to be doing. 

"Pfft… I was fine. Elizabeth just locked me in J'onn's ready room and then forgot about me." Kara nuzzled under Lena's jaw. "I just… I would have been devastated if something had happened to you. I love you." There. She'd said it. She said what she had been thinking almost since Lena kissed her the first time right before the race, since she had kissed Lena right after, since they had gone flying together. 

Lena's eyes went wide. "Kara…" Oh, she had messed up. Kara's heart sank. Lena probably didn't feel the same way. At least not yet, and Kara had probably scared her off now. 

"I know it's early to be saying something like that, but I needed you to know." Kara bit her lip and looked at Lena. Hopefully, she hadn't ruined everything. She snuggled closer into Lena, holding her like it might be the last time she was allowed to. 

"No, it isn't too early at all." Lena nuzzled against Kara. "I… I love you too. The entire time the pirates were rushing into my quarters, my only regret was that I wouldn't get to tell you." Lean ducked her head and blushed lightly before she chuckled. "We've done everything at lightspeed, haven't we?" 

"Yeah," Kara said as she leaned in to kiss Lena once again. "Yeah, we have."

***

Alex was bone tired. As soon as she got back to her quarters, she sprawled out on her couch and closed her eyes. The adrenaline had leaked out of her system, and now all she wanted to do was sleep. She needed to write her mission report. She needed to force herself up and to do it now while everything was still fresh in her head. She wasn't going to. She let her eyes drift close instead. The day was over. It was finally over. And she might be exhausted, but the feeling of accomplishment nestled behind her breastbone wasn't going away. It had been so long since she had felt that way that she almost didn't recognize it. It was the feeling of a successful mission. There was a tiny smile on her lips as she drifted to sleep.

Her door chime woke her minutes later and Alex groaned. She didn't bother to move when she said enter. At this point, she couldn't fathom who might be visiting her, she wasn't even going to try to guess, but they were going to have to deal. The doors hissed open. 

"Alex?" Maggie said into the dimly lighted room. Alex raised a hand and waved Maggie in. She should have known it would be Maggie. She was the last person Alex expected to show up in her quarters, so obviously it would be her. She wasn't sure how she felt about Maggie's presence, but she didn't have the energy to fight, so she hoped that wasn't why Maggie was there. 

"I'm over here." She heard Maggie's feet shuffling against her carpet before the other woman came into view. Alex's eyes were barely open as she took Maggie in. "What can I do for you, Sawyer?" Sawyer. Maggie. Lieutenant. None of them exactly sounded right anymore. Who was Maggie to her now?

Maggie sighed. "I think you can call me Maggie," she said as she looked down at Alex. There was something in Maggie's eyes that Alex couldn't place. Rather than ask, she went with the quick joke instead. 

"Yes, ma'am." Alex threw Maggie a lazy salute. Saluting wasn't something they did in Starfleet, but Alex thought Maggie might understand the gesture anyway. Maggie rolled her eyes. 

"I thought we should talk. I thought I should apologize." Maggie nodded toward the chair across from the couch, silently asking if she could sit. 

"Be my guest," Alex said as she groaned and levered herself upright. If they were going to have an actual conversation, she probably shouldn't keep lying down. 

Maggie took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I looked into your file. You were right. I wasn't thinking about how dangerous it could be for either of us. I just… well, I guess why I did it doesn't really matter." She shrugged and leaned back in the chair.

Alex dropped her face into her hands and pushed her hair back as she sat up straighter. "I can't condone what you did, but I could have handled the situation better. I don't lie to people because it's fun. I do it because it's necessary. I've been lying to my mom, to Kara, to everyone for years." Alex scratched her fingers through her hair again. "It wasn't personal."

"I understand that now. I think my ego got in the way before." Maggie looked away. "Thank you. For telling me what happened though. On, well, you know… That wasn't… it wasn't anything anyone should have to live through." She still wasn't meeting Alex's gaze. 

"I know. The counselors eventually managed to beat that into my brain." This time it was Alex who looked away. "I don't really have a death wish, even if it seemed like it in the weapons bay. I just couldn't see another way. I'm glad you did." She finally managed to look at Maggie again. Their eyes caught and there was something there, something that made her breath catch. 

"Me too." Maggie pushed her hands against her thighs as she stood up. She rubbed her palms against the fabric on her legs. 

Alex assumed their conversation was over, but Maggie came over to sit by her on the couch. Alex just looked at her. Without hesitation, Maggie leaned in and kissed her. The bottom dropped out of Alex's stomach. That was it. That was what she had wanted since Maggie came in, what she had wanted for probably longer than she was conscious of. As soon as their lips met, Alex relaxed into it and kissed Maggie back. It was long and slow and nothing at all like their kisses on the runabout. Alex parted her lips and felt Maggie instantly do the same. The kiss stretched longer and longer, neither of them ready for it to end. Eventually, ever so slowly, Alex pulled away. 

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" she asked. She already knew the answer. It was a terrible idea. Two days ago they were ready to kill each other. Two days before that, they had been fucking in the back of the runabout like they would never get enough of each other. Now what? What was this supposed to mean?

"No," Maggie replied. "But I've wanted to do it since you jumped into that stupid weapons bay." Oh. Alex blinked. Then she leaned in and kissed Maggie again.

"Well," It was time for a bit of truth, "I wanted to kiss you before I jumped." She hadn't because she knew Maggie would have stopped her from jumping, would have pulled her back, would probably have been appalled that Alex would even try. 

"Then I think we should keep doing it until we figure out the answer to your question." Maggie smiled as she cupped Alex's face. Alex smiled back. 

"I like your plan," Alex said as she stood and offered her hand to Maggie. Maybe she wasn't so tired after all.

***

_A few days later_

Alex leaned back from the table and slumped in her seat. "Thank you, J'onn. That was wonderful," she said as she pushed her plate away. It had been. J'onn had always been a wonderful cook and spending time with him was so much more enjoyable than she remembered. How had she forgotten that?

"It really was," Kara chimed in as she reached over and took J'onn's hand. J'onn smiled, pleased with himself. Alex smiled back at both of them. It was good to be in the same room with both of them. If only her mom were there. That thought brought her up short. No reason to get carried away. Kara and J'onn were an excellent family all on their own. 

"I'm just glad I could finally get the two of you here for dinner." J'onn squeezed Kara's hand back. 

"Well, it was lovely." Alex got up and started clearing the table. Kara quickly joined her as Alex shot furtive glances at J'onn. They needed to talk, but she wasn't sure she was ready to seek him out in his ready room. 

"Kara, why don't you find something for dessert?" J'onn asked. Alex wondered if he was reading her mind when he put a hand on her shoulder and directed her away from where Kara was playing with the replicator. 

"Whatever it is, you can tell me." J'onn squeezed Alex's shoulder. She looked down and then back up again. She couldn't remember a time when she had been quite so nervous. What would he say? Was it too late? Even if it was, she needed to know. 

Alex straightened up and looked J'onn in the eye. "I know I've been stubborn about this, but I just… I needed some time. And I don't know if I can really go back to my lab." She couldn't. She knew she couldn't now. Not after the past couple of months. She would be bored out of her mind. "Like you said, someone is going to try to drag me out eventually anyway. And if that's going to happen, I'd rather it be you."

J'onn looked at Alex in understanding. "Tell me what you want, Alex, and I'll do everything I can to make it happen."

"I know you will. I just wanted to say, if that position as your tactical officer is still available, I'd very much like to stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then they lived as happily for another week until some other calamity befell the Excelsior. 
> 
> Never in my life did I think I would ever write something this long or this complicated. There are parts of I adore and parts of it that I would rewrite if I could, but mainly I'm really, really happy that I managed to finish it.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who came on this journey with me and a big thanks to everyone who left comments. Getting the little notifications in my email made my day every time I got one.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are the best thing ever and I'm on tumblr @twtd11


End file.
